Well, that’s a headline I thought I’d never write… That’s a headline I never WANTED to write! Quite frankly, I’m pretty annoyed to even be covering this, I’m trying to run a serious news organization here but people like Ted Cruz won’t let me! So here’s the deal….a really weird, kind of disturbing, and very hilarious video is going viral today (hat tip to my friend MJ) of a young Ted Cruz allegedly waxing poetically about how much he loves butts — and butt sweat and peeing on butts and all sorts of other really weird stuff. I’m not joking! But I do have to do a small Fact-Check on it, which I’ll show you in a minute. First up, just watch here: So….is the video real? Well, yes and no. Let’s start off with this Fact-Check I ran through AI, which confirms the video is indeed real and authentic, at least the first part of it: Key source references An article from Time reports on a video in which Cruz, as a high-school senior at Second Baptist School in Houston in ~1988, jokes: “Aspirations? Is that like sweat on my butt?” he says. “Well, other than that… take over the world. World domination. You know, rule everything. Rich, powerful…”TIME A CBS News article describes the same clip, saying it was uploaded to YouTube and appears to show Cruz in 1988 at Second Baptist School. CBS News Newsweek likewise reports the video shows Cruz as an 18-year-old at Second Baptist, wearing jeans and a tucked-in shirt, and makes the same statements. Newsweek The Houston Chronicle (via Chron.com) also confirms the footage is from 1988, high school, and quotes Cruz saying “Take over the world — world domination…” in the clip. Chron Cruz’s Wikipedia page confirms his graduation year from Second Baptist School (1988). Wikipedia+1 Assessment The convergence among multiple outlets (Time, CBS, Newsweek, Chronicle) adds strong evidence that the video is authentic. The details align: the timeframe (~1988), the high-school (Second Baptist School, Houston), Cruz’s visible age and attire, and the key quote lines. None of the reputable sources claims the “butts” quote exactly as in your screenshot, but they do reference the “sweat on my butt” line, which is consistent with the structure of the quote you provided. There is no obvious credible source disputing the authenticity of the footage — i.e., no major fact-check concluding it was fake or deeply altered. As best I Here is the video directly from Funny or Die: Either way, I think two things are true…. One, the part that is authentic Ted Cruz is creepy and weird enough on its own, which is what made it so ripe for satire. Two, this video is really weird and creepy and hilarious, and the fact that it would need to be “Fact Checked” probably tells you all you need to know about the real Ted Cruz. I’m not a fan.