Washington, D.C. — In a masterful exhibition of bipartisan complicity masked as partisan deadlock, the Republican-led 119th Congress has proudly concluded 2025 by accomplishing virtually nothing beyond repeatedly extending unsustainable government spending levels through a series of continuing resolutions, all while presiding over the longest government shutdown in U.S. history.

Despite securing unified control of the White House, Senate, and House—a rare trifecta not seen since 2019—lawmakers focused their energies on the singular feat of kicking the fiscal can down the road. The year’s legislative highlight was a patchwork of stopgap measures, including the Full-Year Continuing Appropriations and Extensions Act in March, followed by additional short-term patches in December, which collectively maintained bloated spending at prior-year levels without addressing entitlement reforms, debt ceilings, or structural deficits.

A GOP leadership aide, speaking anonymously to avoid accountability, praised the strategy: “We promised bold change, but why fix what isn’t broken for our donors? Continuing resolutions allow us to fund everything forever—defense boondoggles, corporate subsidies, and yes, even those pesky social programs—without the messy business of actual budgeting or cuts.”

House Speaker Mike Johnson added, “We did send out several strongly-worded letters, though, promising serious action in the future.”

The crowning achievement came amid a record 43-day government shutdown in the fall, triggered by irreconcilable demands over healthcare subsidies and spending priorities. The impasse furloughed millions, disrupted food assistance, and grounded flights, but ultimately resolved with yet another continuing resolution that preserved the status quo of trillion-dollar deficits and unchecked borrowing.

Critics pointed to rampant waste and fraud in ongoing programs—billions lost annually to improper payments in Medicare, Social Security, and unemployment benefits—but congressional leaders dismissed such concerns as “partisan nitpicking.” Johnson hailed the year as a “resounding success in fiscal prudence,” noting that by doing nothing substantive, Congress avoided any new spending while quietly perpetuating the old.

As 2025 draws to a close with funding again extended into 2026, analysts commend the narrow majorities for their unity in paralysis. “In an era of skyrocketing national debt, achieving sustained unsustainability requires true bipartisan effort,” observed one expert. “Voters clearly rewarded this approach at the polls.”

With midterm elections approaching, Republicans remain confident that Americans will once again embrace the proven formula: promise reform, deliver inertia, and let future generations foot the bill.

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