Ottawa – In a somber address from Rideau Hall this afternoon, Prime Minister Mark Carney directed that all Canadian flags across the country be lowered to half-mast following the men’s national hockey team’s heartbreaking 2-1 overtime loss to the United States in the gold-medal game at the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics.

The directive, issued mere hours after Jack Hughes’ dagger of a goal at 1:41 into extra time sealed America’s first men’s hockey gold since the Miracle on Ice, comes as a “measured and proportionate response to the profound national grief,” according to a statement from the Prime Minister’s Office.

“Today, Canada mourns,” Carney said in prepared remarks delivered with the gravitas usually reserved for declarations of war or carbon-tax increases. “A nation that has defined itself through resilience, maple syrup, and the ability to win hockey games at the Olympics has suffered a wound from which full recovery may take generations. We lower the Maple Leaf not in surrender, but in solemn recognition that our boys—our boys—were denied by a single deflection and 41 saves from an American netminder whose name we shall not dignify by repeating.”

Sources close to the government confirmed the half-mast order will remain in effect for a full seven days, matching the duration previously observed after national tragedies of comparable magnitude. Flags on Parliament Hill, federal buildings, Canadian embassies abroad, and even the lone Tim Hortons flagpole in international waters (attached to a supply ship) will comply.

Critics were quick to question the proportionality. Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre, speaking from what appeared to be a hastily assembled podium in front of a Canadian Tire, called the move “classic Carney overreach.” “First it was climate grief, then pandemic grief, now hockey grief,” Poilievre said. “Next we’ll be flying flags at quarter-mast every time someone confuses poutine with disco fries. This is why Canadians can’t have nice things—like winning.”

In Ottawa, small crowds gathered on the Hill, some holding signs reading “We Were Robbed” and “O Canada, Why?” A lone bagpiper played a mournful rendition of “The Hockey Song” until RCMP officers gently reminded him that public expressions of sorrow are now federally regulated under the new National Mourning (Hockey-Related) Guidelines.

The Prime Minister concluded his statement by announcing a national day of reflection, to be observed annually on February 22 unless Canada wins gold, at which point the date will be quietly retired. “We will rebuild,” Carney assured the nation. “We will skate again. And one day—perhaps in 2030—we shall rise from the ashes of this overtime heartbreak, stronger, more subsidized, and ready to lose in the finals with even greater dignity.”

Until then, the Maple Leaf hangs low, a crimson reminder that in Canada, even silver feels like bronze when the opponent is wearing stars and stripes.

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