If you’d asked me years ago how Jesus would meet me in the wreckage of church hurt, I never would’ve guessed he’d use the story of Jonah. When most of us hear Jonah’s name, our minds fill with storybook images of a raging sea and a prophet in the dark belly of a fish. I grew up reading this story like an amusing fable, gleaning wisdom but not necessarily relating to Jonah’s position. I couldn’t understand his reluctance to obey, his unforgiveness toward people God wanted to save, or his despair. I viewed my life as marked by grace, and I didn’t think there was “Nineveh” in my heart. That was until I endured a hurtful church experience that shattered many of my assumptions about both myself and God’s work. Suddenly, Jonah didn’t read like a fable anymore. I wanted to run. I felt angry with the very people God called me to love. The church, once my home and adopted family, felt more like an enemy city. God’s gentle command to love and belong to his people in passages like Hebrews 10:24–25 felt impossible, something I’d rather die over than obey. Then Jesus met me in this story of the reluctant prophet. I see now that he always wanted to meet me there. In Matthew 12:39–40, Jesus linked Jonah’s experience to his own death, burial, and resurrection. God redeemed the story of a man who ran from the Lord and struggled to forgive. I’ve come to see he can redeem mine too. God Hears You. He Won’t Leave You in the Dark. Church hurt is agonizing and deeply complex. Cases of abuse, in particular, are instances of wicked injustice that deserve our anger and must be confronted and dealt with boldly. I faced grievous pain I didn’t cause. But with that suffering, I was also tossed in a raging sea of bitterness and swallowed up by a dark belly of unforgiveness. Like Jonah in the fish, I had to come face to face with what was happening in my heart, not just with what had been done to me. Like the reluctant prophet, I wondered whether God would still hear me or abandon me to “never again [see his] holy temple” (2:4, CEV). God redeemed the story of a man who ran from the Lord, despaired, and struggled to forgive. I’ve come to see he can redeem mine too. In that isolating season, I learned from Jonah that the Lord is merciful even in the blackest night when we’re hurt and our hearts resist him. The darkness isn’t permanent, and it won’t consume us if we cry out to him. When the fish swallowed Jonah, the Lord heard his cries for mercy even as his “life was fainting away” (v. 7). And after three days and nights, at God’s command, he was spat back into the light. This moment is a sign of something greater (Matt. 12:39–40). Jesus entered a far heavier darkness on the cross. Though he was entirely without sin, he cried out to the Father, “Why have you forsaken me?” (27:46) as his life fainted away. He endured the judgment you and I deserve but will never face. Yet just as Jonah didn’t remain in the fish’s belly, Jesus didn’t stay in the grave. After taking the darkness of the world on himself, he conquered it so our dark places won’t consume us. We can cry out to the Father and trust he hears and offers mercy and a redeemed family on the other side of our hurt. Because of Christ, We Can Choose a Better Ending Jonah’s story ends unresolved, with him stewing in bitterness under a withering plant. Though he finally obeyed God’s call to preach to Nineveh, Jonah couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive the Ninevites. This was a city of idolaters that had brutalized Jonah’s people in war. He’d rather die than see God’s grace poured out on them. So he sat far off and watched God’s mercy unfold at a distance. I relate to Jonah at this point in his story too. Even when I felt ready to visit a new church, I struggled to open my heart to God’s people again. Hiding alone under my withering plant of self-protection felt safer. But Jesus didn’t want my story to end there. He invited me to something greater. This meant seeing the more beautiful story he was writing, one where the Father, not I, was the main character. If we want a better ending than isolated bitterness, we must embrace what Jonah couldn’t: God’s relentless pursuit of sinners and his invitation to join him in pursuing them. Like the Father in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15), God runs toward the lost. We can run with him and embrace the family he’s forming, or we can sit outside like the older brother and Jonah, watching grace from afar. We can run with him and embrace the family he’s forming, or we can sit outside like the older brother and Jonah, watching grace from afar. Not every church or Christian will repent like Nineveh and the Prodigal Son did, so sadly, we won’t always be able to reconcile with those who have sinned against us or rebuild trust with them. Like Jonah, most of us will have parts of our story that remain unresolved—relationships that don’t fully mend in this life. I grieve what’s unresolved in mine. But what is resolved is the Father’s fixed love for his people. So when you find a trustworthy community, one brought from darkness and marked like you by the Father’s love, you shouldn’t let fear or bitterness rob you of the call to join that family. By grace, God is using a healthy church community to heal my reluctant heart. I’m learning that the church’s story is a far more breathtaking narrative to be part of than what I’d write for myself. May everyone who experiences church hurt jump, by God’s grace, into that story again.

Whether you’ve been in ministry for a day or a decade, you know many pastoral decisions involve navigating the gray, foggy middle with wisdom. Ministers must often operate within the wisdom categories of good, better, and best, not the moral categories of right and wrong. One wisdom issue facing many local churches today is whether and how to use video teaching in discipleship. It used to be that churches would use, for example, videos from a prominent women’s teacher until a particular woman from the church could be raised up to teach and lead its women’s ministry. In this and other areas, video teaching was a supplement until local church leaders could be properly trained and equipped. But today, many churches adopt a discipleship model that involves recording their own leaders, producing podcast or video content in-house, and then distributing it to smaller groups (e.g., Sunday school classes, home groups) to watch or listen and discuss. From my conversations with ministry leaders, it seems the motivations behind this shift are mixed. Some record their membership classes, for example, because the material is replicable and doing so makes the teaching more accessible for a larger number of potential members. Others value the higher production value of recorded teaching. Still others mimic methods they see adopted by larger, “more successful” churches, hoping that adopting the same methods will produce similar results. How would you think through this issue? Should your local church offer its next discipleship or membership class as a series of YouTube videos? Is this wise and best? Here are three questions to help you navigate this foggy question with wisdom. 1. Does my chosen method prioritize face-to-face ministry? The author of Hebrews famously opens his letter by writing, “Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world” (1:1–2). Should your local church offer its next discipleship or membership class as a series of YouTube videos? Our triune God, from eternity past, determined that in the fullness of time (Gal. 4:4–5), the Father would send the Son to take on flesh and minister in the flesh to his straying and sinful people (John 1:14; Col. 1:16–17; Heb. 1:3). After Christ’s death and resurrection, the Spirit was sent to indwell us (John 14:16). God’s ministry to his people has always been intimate and personal; the ministry of God’s Spirit-indwelled people should be no different. John seems insistent on this “in flesh” model. In his letters, he leverages technology to encourage and instruct from afar, but he holds out hope that he’ll see his recipients face-to-face (2 John 12; 3 John 13–14). He knows well the limitations of impersonal methods, and he wants the full joy of incarnational ministry. Should your prospective members go through a set of membership-class videos, then discuss them with an elder? Maybe. There are elements lost and gained when teaching is recorded instead of live. The teaching may have a higher production value, but it’s also less personal. On the other hand, the video may be an excellent, replicable catalyst for personal conversations about the truths taught. However you weigh this decision, the goal should be person-to-person ministry. 2. What method best fits my context and occasion? Most (if not all) of the Bible is occasional literature—an occasion prompted each writer to put quill to parchment. We can easily observe this in letters like 1 Corinthians. The back half is broken into sections that begin “Now concerning . . .” (7:1, 25; 8:1; 12:1; 16:1, 12). Ministry is also occasional. The church has been given clear, universally applicable imperatives, such as “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations” (Matt. 28:19). That said, how disciples are made isn’t as clear as the command to make them. Your context can, at times, dictate the difference between good, better, and best. Does the season you’re in occasion a more streamlined approach to discipleship through small groups? If you’re a solo pastor, your church might benefit from your sending a recorded video that can be watched separately by each small group. Ministry, like life, is full of seasons (Eccl. 3:1–8), and each season is an occasion to reassess why your ministry is structured the way it is. Weigh each occasion prayerfully, holding fast to the ancient truths of the faith while presenting them in a way that fits each situation. 3. Am I OK with driving slowly? I live in California’s Central Valley, home to a natural phenomenon called tule fog. From winter to spring of each year, rain, rapidly warming and cooling air, and the mountains on either side of the valley create conditions that produce some of the nastiest fog in the world. The fog can be particularly dense over stretches of freeway, which makes driving dangerous. When visibility is low, wise drivers slow down to ensure they can correct mistakes and avoid challenges that arise. Not-so-wise drivers continue full speed ahead. Your context can, at times, dictate the difference between good, better, and best. I see in the tule fog a metaphor for ministry. As a pastor travels down the ministry highway, he has stretches of distinct clarity. In those circumstances, he can make great progress very quickly. But other times, the conditions are foggy, and we need to be more principled and slow, recognizing that hasty decisions can lead to catastrophic outcomes. Discipleship isn’t a race; not everything needs to be streamlined for accessibility and efficiency. You don’t have to “keep up” with the ministry down the street or across the country. Just because you can record teachings doesn’t mean you should. Some of the most wonderfully pastoral moments come in the moment. The minister needs to be OK with going slow if the occasion calls for it and it better embraces person-to-person discipleship. Slow methods are difficult and messy, and they often feel unnecessarily inefficient, but Jesus himself went slow. He spent three years with 12 underqualified men, but he used that inefficient yet personal ministry to change the world.

One of the first things kids learn in church is that God made the world. The Bible starts with the story of creation, and it’s right that we start with it too. Children need to understand that this world isn’t the product of time plus chance. But as kids grow older, the significance that we ourselves are made by God takes on new importance. They start to ask why they’re here, a question that’s impossible to answer unless you know who made you. Children become more aware of their own limitations as their bodies and minds grow. They may be frustrated that they lack the athletic talent of other children in their class or that reading is harder for them than for their siblings. They’ll be more aware of their strengths, at times becoming inordinately proud of the things that are easy for them and hard for others. One antidote to counteract both frustration and pride is a growing understanding that we are God’s “workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Eph. 2:10). If God made you short, he has work for you that a short person can do. If he made you tall, your height will not prevent his plans for you from being accomplished.   The playlist below is meant to help you and your children meditate on what it means to be made in the image of God, by God and for his glory. Although we live in a fallen world, God keeps treasures in jars of clay (2 Cor. 4:7), and he’s able to make his strength perfect in our weakness. Find the playlist on Spotify or Apple Music and see the tracklist below. “Just the Way God Wanted Us to Be,” Sovereign Grace Music, Bob Kauflin “God Made Me and You,” Shai Linne “You Knit Me Together,” Steve Green “Made for This,” GroupMusic “Made by God 4 God Alone (Live),” Colin Buchanan “You Are Lovingly Made,” Michael J. Tinker “God Made Everything,” Awesome Cutlery “All Creatures of Our God and King,” Keith and Kristyn Getty “Made in the Image (feat. Erskin Anavitarte),” Yancy, Little Praise Party “Q4 & Q5 How and Why Did God Create Us?” The Gospel Coalition “Birds Were Made for Flying,” Colin Buchanan “My God Is All I Need / My God Is So Big,” CityAlight “God Is So Good – Rejoice in the Lord Always,” Quiz Worx “Who I Am,” Awesome Cutlery “Is He Worthy?” Keith and Kristyn Getty, The Getty Girls “God Made You Special,” Slugs & Bugs “If I Were a Butterfly,” City Kids, Little Parade

We live in a country where we can freely proclaim the gospel both with our mouths and with our actions. Let us not take this fact for granted. Let us take actions so great that they positively impact people, and allow them to proclaim, “Your God reigns!”

We may admire certain teachers and influencers online and even find many of their insights and suggested practices helpful. However, if we rely only on the second-hand nourishment of the faith of others, then our growth will wither.