May these Memorial Day prayers encourage and inspire those who serve in the military as well as the family members who support them.

We will all have tough times in this life, but we must turn to God when times become overbearing.

We are never too young to memorize Scripture, and a good one to help your children realize the importance of prayer is 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.”

Seated in my attic bedroom of the hundred-year-old house I shared with 11 other college women, I took the terrible phone call. My mom calmly explained that she and Dad were divorcing. I wondered how awkward it’d be when they came to graduation, just a few months away. The next few weeks were a blur of emotions. I didn’t know how to handle this blow, so I sought out friends who had divorced parents. They sympathized, but the conversations were largely unhelpful. Their parents had divorced while my friends were still children, and nobody could understand why I was so upset. After all, at least I wasn’t living at home while it happened. It wasn’t just my friends who didn’t seem to understand. The only books or resources I could find that addressed the topic were two old, obscure tomes. I’m happy to say a quick Google search shows more options today, but back then I felt isolated in my pain. I’ve since come to understand that I’m part of a growing group called “Adult Children of Divorce” (ACOD), meaning people who are adults at the time of their parents’ separation. This group stems from the “gray divorce” phenomenon of the baby boomer generation, who are abandoning marriages in their later years at rates never seen before. Until recently, gray divorce was rare and therefore wasn’t well studied or resourced. But now it accounts for 36 percent of all divorces, and the unseen carnage is the adult children. For those seeking to support a struggling friend or church member whose parents are divorcing, here are some insights from my experience. Unique Struggles Being an adult when your parents divorce removes you from some common struggles experienced by younger kids. You don’t have to deal with custody battles, being passed back and forth, or overhearing arguments. But your parents are always your parents. They have an irreplaceable role in your life and are the foundation of the family unit. When that unit shatters, part of your personal security goes with it. There’s not only sorrow in the present; grief often works backward, causing the adult child to second-guess her childhood experiences. Gray divorce now accounts for 36 percent of all divorces, and the unseen carnage is the adult children. Additionally, adult children are more likely to get pulled into the conflict than younger children. Parents may treat them as friends, rather than as their kids, and share unwanted details of the divorce. Other times, parents will ask an adult child to take sides, making it difficult for him to know how to love and honor both parents. My folks were great with their boundaries, but I was still affected by the practical realities of divorce in ways that might not have happened if I’d been younger. For example, I have a distinct memory of packing a box of family photos for my mom because she couldn’t bear to look at them. I loved her and wanted to help her, but it’s one of the worst memories of my life. After ACOD navigate the divorce process, there are ongoing challenges like choosing where to spend holidays, managing access to grandchildren, navigating care for elderly parents, negotiating parental dating, and building relationships with each individual parent rather than relying on a family unit. Many struggle through these dynamics alone, unable to find friends, pastors, and professionals who understand their plight. Ways to Help How can you help someone navigating this particular struggle? First, recognize parental divorce is a significant grief experience, and care for adult children in similar ways to how you would care for people experiencing other types of grief. Reach out with prayer and encouragement. Invite your friend over for a meal, especially around the holidays. Start a support group at your church for ACOD to meet and talk, or connect individuals you know with one another. Second, invite your friend to share. Gently ask about how divorce is affecting her specifically. For me, it made me question whether the love I observed between my parents was ever genuine. It also made me feel like I had no family anymore. For others, their parents’ divorce leads to doubt about their own ability to have a healthy marriage or causes them to lose touch with one parent or the other. Ask questions and listen with love. It made me question whether the love I observed between my parents was ever genuine. It also made me feel like I had no family anymore. Finally, point your friend to the reality of the church as the true family of God (Matt. 12:46–50). The most healing thing I did after my parents’ divorce was to get deeply involved in the local church. I knew there was a group that cared about me and saw me as their own. I could spend holidays with them if needed, call them when I was sick, seek wise counsel, and much more. In eternity, we’ll no longer find our identity in our biological families but in the Bride of Christ. ACOD have a chance to experience that reality in a special way. While no one can replace my parents, God’s household has restored the stability and belonging I lost through divorce.

When he learned his grandmother never had the chance to attend prom, one thoughtful young man decided to change that. By taking her as his date, he created a heartwarming memory they’ll both cherish forever.