WASHINGTON — In a move hailed by political scientists as “the most efficient use of inefficiency since the invention of the filibuster itself,” Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-S.D.) today commenced an eight-month-long press conference dedicated entirely to explaining why the Senate lacks the time to conduct a proper talking filibuster on the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act. Standing at the Senate steps under a banner reading “Time Is Precious, But Not That Precious,” Thune opened the marathon briefing with a measured, 47-minute preamble on the sacred traditions of the upper chamber. “The SAVE Act is vital legislation,” he intoned solemnly, “requiring proof of citizenship to vote — a common-sense measure supported by millions of Americans who want only citizens deciding elections. We will vote on it at some point. But forcing Democrats into a talking filibuster? That would tie up the floor indefinitely.” Reporters nodded vigorously, having already cleared their calendars through October. Thune then detailed the grave scheduling conflicts standing between the Senate and democracy-saving voter integrity. “We have a farm bill,” he explained, pausing for dramatic effect as if revealing classified intelligence. “A highway bill. Permitting reform. Russia sanctions. A housing bill. Market structure legislation. Possibly even a market structure bill about housing. These are not optional. They are must-pass items that cannot be delayed by something as frivolous as unlimited debate on election security.” When pressed on why a talking filibuster — which would require Democrats to physically hold the floor with continuous speech until exhaustion set in — couldn’t be squeezed in between, say, the farm bill markup and the Russia sanctions markup, Thune adopted the weary tone of a man who has personally calculated the caloric expenditure required for 60-vote cloture alternatives. “It would take tremendous effort,” he said. “Unlimited amendments. Unlimited debate. The clock resets with every germane point. And frankly, we’ve got a lot of things we have to do. The American people expect us to govern, not grandstand — unless the grandstanding is in protest of grandstanding and doesn’t interfere with spending taxpayer money.” Sources close to the leadership confided that Thune’s team had run sophisticated models projecting that a full talking filibuster, even if Democrats rotated speakers like a particularly earnest relay team, could consume up to three weeks of floor time — time that could instead be allocated to debating whether the farm bill should include subsidies for soybeans or, more pressingly, whether soybeans deserve their own subcommittee. Critics from the House Freedom Caucus, who had earlier floated the idea of forcing a standing filibuster to ram the SAVE Act through on a simple majority, expressed mild disappointment. “We thought eight months was plenty,” one anonymous representative muttered. “But apparently the Senate calendar is booked solid with things like ‘not doing the thing we promised.'” Thune assured the assembled press corps — now on their third shift of stenographers — that the SAVE Act remains a top priority. “We’ll get to it,” he promised. “Possibly as an amendment to the DHS funding bill. Or maybe standalone. Or perhaps in the lame-duck session after the midterms, when time suddenly becomes infinite again. The point is, we’re committed. Just not committed enough to actually commit floor time.” As the press conference entered its second hour (of the planned 5,760-hour run), Thune fielded a final question: Would he consider shortening the briefing to free up time for actual legislative action? He smiled thinly. “That would set a dangerous precedent. Once you start rushing explanations, next thing you know, people expect action. And we simply don’t have time for that.” The briefing continues daily from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. EST, with breaks for lunch, farm bill caucuses, and occasional naps. Updates will be provided when — and if — the Senate finds a spare eight months to do something else. The post Sen Thune to Give 8-Month Press Conference to Explain Why 8 Months Isn’t Enough Time for a Talking Filibuster on SAVE Act appeared first on Genesius Times.