Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire

Conservative Satire

@conservativesatire

James Bond Granted License To Kill Anyone With An Air Conditioner
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babylonbee.com

James Bond Granted License To Kill Anyone With An Air Conditioner

LONDON — In an effort to modernize MI6 for the eco-conscious era, the British government announced that the organization had officially granted James Bond a license to kill anyone with an air conditioner.

National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two
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babylonbee.com

National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two

SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Weather Service issued a weather alert on Monday announcing that tonight, everyone is going to die, or absolutely nothing is going to happen, but it's definitely one of the two.

Here Are 4 Ways Oligarchs Can Win Political Favors From Trump
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dailycaller.com

Here Are 4 Ways Oligarchs Can Win Political Favors From Trump

'Don't underestimate the backdoor power of phoning Trump after dark'

Nervous Speaker At Pride Event Relaxes By Imagining The Crowd Fully Clothed
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babylonbee.com

Nervous Speaker At Pride Event Relaxes By Imagining The Crowd Fully Clothed

NEW YORK, NY — The speaker giving the keynote address at the New York City Pride Festival admitted that he pictured everyone in the audience fully clothed to calm his nerves.

7 Tips For Europeans To Stay Cool Without Air Conditioning
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babylonbee.com

7 Tips For Europeans To Stay Cool Without Air Conditioning

Europeans typically do without air conditioning, presumably because they are perpetually stuck in the Dark Ages and far more interested in burning witches to appease the environment gods. But given the current heat wave, millions of Europeans are now looking for the best ways to stay cool without AC.