Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire

Conservative Satire

@conservativesatire

10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris
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10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back upon his life, each of us should honor his memory in the best way we can.

Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
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Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe

U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has been officially confirmed that, in his final moments, Charlie Kirk affirmed whatever you believe.

Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby
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Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby

SEATTLE, WA — According to sources, local man Richard Stevenson prefers to take his coffee cold and with milk like a little baby.

California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects
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California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects

SACRAMENTO, CA — California's $250 billion study looking into why it has so many unfinished projects was abandoned while only half-finished, the governor's office confirmed Friday.

Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
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Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet

NOTRE DAME, IN — After a thought-provoking roundtable discussion, theologians at the University of Notre Dame concluded that every meal in Heaven is most likely ice cream in a miniature baseball helmet.