Washington, D.C. — In a development that has sent mild ripples through the Democratic Party’s already exhausted support base, sources close to former Vice President Kamala Harris confirmed Thursday that she is “seriously thinking about” following in Hillary Clinton’s footsteps and losing the presidential election again in 2028. “I’ve been reflecting a lot on 2024,” Harris told a small gathering of donors who had already begun checking their watches. “And I believe the American people deserve another opportunity to decisively reject my candidacy. It would be historic.” Insiders say Harris has spent the past year in what she describes as “deep strategic contemplation,” which largely consisted of cackling at her own jokes in an empty room and practicing her border security laugh in front of a mirror. According to one aide who requested anonymity because he still hopes to work somewhere else someday, the former vice president has been polling various close associates with the question: “Do you think they’ll let me lose by even more this time?” Political analysts described the potential campaign as “bold yet familiar.” “She’s really leaning into her strengths,” said Dr. Evelyn Hargrove, a professor of political masochism at Georgetown University. “Unburdened by what has been, Harris is now burdened by what will almost certainly be — another shellacking. It’s inspiring in a ‘why won’t this end’ kind of way.” Harris’s inner circle has already begun assembling what they’re calling the “2028 Victory Tour (of Concession Speeches).” Early plans include revisiting key 2024 battlegrounds where she underperformed, such as every swing state, to remind voters how close she came to not quite getting there. A campaign slogan is reportedly in development. Current frontrunners include: “Let’s Do This Again… But Worse” “Forward, Together, Toward Another Defeat” “I’m Speaking… And You’re Still Not Voting For Me” When asked for comment, Harris spokesperson Brian Fallon issued the following statement: “Vice President Harris remains committed to the fight — specifically, the fight to prove that no one can lose with more joy and word salad than she can. She believes in an America where every little girl can grow up to lose a presidential election not once, but twice.” Republican strategists, meanwhile, responded with the kind of quiet, dignified excitement usually reserved for tax cuts. “We’re not worried,” said one GOP operative. “If Kamala wants to run again, we’ll just air the old clips. Saves us millions in ad spending.” At press time, Harris was reportedly practicing her concession speech in three different accents, just to keep things fresh for the inevitable. The post BREAKING: Kamala Harris ‘Seriously Thinking About’ Losing Again in 2028 appeared first on Genesius Times.

Canadian activist group Identititarian Linguists Lithograph (ILL) have published a book containing the latest, most inclusive acronym for the LGBTQQIX2+ community to date with over 8 billion characters. “It took quite a while to compose the 200,000 page book with the complete acronym,” witnesses say, “but the finished product is well worth it.” The acryonym was LGB for decades until activists added the “T” for transgender and “Q” for queer. The Canadians added 2S for “two spirit” and use LGBTQ2S. But many people felt excluded by the short acronym. “Why don’t you recognize Purple Polka-Dotted Fuzzies in your acronym?” Bryn Metha of Los Angeles wrote ILL. “It’s like you are denying my existence. You’re causing violence to me by not including my identity in your acronym!” The new acronym has multiple instances of each alphabet character, several numbers, some hieroglyphics, and about a million emojis. It even contains several continuous digits of the mathematics constant known as Pi (3.14159) for those identify as a circle or something. “When people don’t identify with a word or anything that you can describe verbally, it’s nice to have an emoji that you can stake your life’s identity on—that is until you change it,” Michael Robspierre, ILL’s president said in a statement. “We want this to be the most inclusive acronym possible, not leaving any marginalized minority out.” In fact, the acronym has more than the number of people that live on the planet at the time of press. Originally published Jan 3, 2019. The post Canada reveals new fully-inclusive LGBTQ+ acronym with 8 billion characters appeared first on Genesius Times.