WASHINGTON — Citing the overwhelming success of her previous April Fools’ Day legal strategy, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson declared Thursday that she will henceforth limit her participation in oral arguments to April 1 of each year. “After the wallet-theft-in-Japan thing landed so well, I realized I was onto something,” Jackson said in a brief statement released from her chambers. “From now on, if I only sit for arguments on April Fools’ Day, every single thing I say during oral arguments can be immediately walked back as a hilarious joke. It’s bulletproof.” The justice explained that under her new “Annual Jest Protocol,” any hypothetical, analogy, or constitutional theory she floats—whether involving stolen wallets, international jaywalking, or the citizenship status of tourists who overstay their welcome at a Tokyo ramen shop—will automatically qualify as protected comedy. “Think of the time savings,” she added. “No more lengthy dissents. No more careful parsing of precedent. Just one day a year of me riffing, followed by 364 days of ‘Gotcha, it was a joke.’ The Framers would be proud.” Legal analysts described the move as “innovative,” “deeply unserious,” and “potentially the most honest admission in Supreme Court history.” One scholar at Yale Law School, who had spent weeks preparing a footnote-heavy rebuttal to Jackson’s last bit, said he now plans to bill his time as “stand-up comedy consulting.” Chief Justice John Roberts reportedly responded to the announcement by staring silently at the ceiling for several minutes before muttering, “We’re going to need a bigger calendar.” Conservative commentators welcomed the reform, noting it would reduce the frequency of what they called “Jackson’s annual contributions to the legal meme economy.” Progressive groups expressed concern that restricting her arguments to one day might limit her ability to “evolve the Constitution through whimsy,” but conceded that at least the jokes would be clearly labeled. When asked whether she planned to extend the policy to written opinions, Jackson replied, “Let’s not get crazy. Written opinions are on the record forever. Oral arguments are basically improv. If it’s not April 1st, I’ll just sit there quietly judging everyone’s fashion choices.” Jackson also revealed she has already blocked out April 1, 2027, for what she described as “a real banger about how parking tickets in Belgium confer Belgian nobility.” Clerks have been instructed to prepare hypothetical fact patterns involving minor traffic infractions and their implications for the Equal Protection Clause. The Supreme Court’s public information office confirmed that all future argument calendars will include a prominent disclaimer: “Any statements by Justice Jackson on April 1 are for entertainment purposes only and should not be cited as precedent, authority, or evidence of a functioning judiciary.” As of press time, Justice Jackson was reportedly workshopping new material involving the citizenship consequences of forgetting to return a library book in Luxembourg. Court observers expect the routine to kill—provided it’s delivered with a completely straight face. In a related development, tourists planning trips to Japan have begun purchasing wallet insurance, just to be safe. The post Justice Ketanji Jackson Says She Will Only Hear Oral Arguments on April 1st from Now On: ‘That Way I Can Always Claim I Was Just Joking’ appeared first on Genesius Times.