During an episode from the latest season of Love on the Spectrum, Netflix’s heartwarming, critically acclaimed reality series that follows autistic individuals navigating the complexities of relationships, two fan favorites—Madison Marilla and her now fiancée, Tyler White—shared a moment that many couples face regardless of neurodivergence: emotional triggers.  As the two approached their date location, a fan can be heard saying, “Maddie! I love you!” This visibly affected Marilla, who explained that her autism causes “black and white thinking.” So hearing a nickname, like “Maddie,” causes her to feel “anxious and thrown off.” In fact, she noted it’s one of her “biggest sensitivities.”  In an Instagram post, marriage counselors Chris & Jamie Bailey break down how the couple’s handling of the situation was a prime example for anyone who witnesses their significant other getting triggered.  View this post on Instagram Chris and Jamie noted that in the clip, White stayed calm, moved towards Madison, validated her feelings without judgment, stayed present in the situation, listened to understand, and then, after Madison was able to express herself, he reassured her that they are a team and that he is there for her. And for her part, Madison “chose to process what was happening instead of reacting.” She also reminded herself that “it was going to be ok” and “moved forward” rather than ruminate.  All relationships deal with triggers While relationships involving autism or other forms of neurodiversity have their own unique set of challenges, Chris and Jamie noted that every couple will at some point face triggers. When that happens, each partner has a “responsibility.” The triggered person is responsible for their emotional regulation, while the non-triggered person is responsible for offering support. Both Tyler and Madison exemplified what can go right when each partner takes on their individual responsibility—especially staying present.  “What couples often miss is the simplicity of just remaining with your spouse during a trigger, “ Chris and Jamie added.  Judging by the comments, the Baileys were clearly not the only ones who felt Madison and Tyler offered a “masterclass in emotional regulation and communication.” “This was incredibly impressive. The way she worked through a trigger, the way he supported her and validated it. Well done everyone. We could all learn from this. ” “Responding before reacting is something every single person I’ve ever met has struggled with. I love how hard she’s working to stay aware of her mind, heart and body and how best to keep them regulated in these really difficult situations. View this post on Instagram “This was such an incredible thing to witness. I’m so grateful for Madison’s ability to be vulnerable through this and to allow the world the opportunity to learn from her I needed this today! “These two humans are pure good. They totally get each other and provide such a safe space.” “I love that Tyler didn’t even try to hug her or touch her and he let Madison’s nervous system calm down first. Full respect!!” Expert-backed methods for dealing with emotional triggers in a relationship For your own triggers, awareness is the first step. Many people notice physical cues before anything else. It might be a racing heart, a tight chest, or a sudden urge to withdraw or lash out. Naming what is happening, even silently, can help create space between the feeling and the reaction. Simple grounding techniques, like slowing your breathing, focusing on your senses, or giving yourself permission to pause, can make a meaningful difference. Just as Madison demonstrated, reminding yourself that the moment will pass can help shift your nervous system out of alarm mode. When it comes to supporting a partner who is triggered, the goal isn’t to fix the feeling, but to help create safety. That often looks like staying calm, listening without interrupting, and validating what they are experiencing, even if you do not fully understand it. Avoid rushing them, minimizing their reaction, or immediately offering solutions. Instead, gentle reassurance and presence can go much further than advice. Of course, this kind of mutual support works best when both people are willing to take ownership of their emotional patterns over time. Conversations outside of triggered moments can help partners learn each other’s sensitivities, boundaries, and preferred ways of being supported.  As Madison and Tyler remind us, when both people are willing to meet each other with awareness and care, even the most uncomfortable moments can become opportunities for deeper connection. The post Marriage counselor uses viral ‘Love on the Spectrum’ moment to explain triggers in relationships appeared first on Upworthy.