A familiar misstep people make when trying to be likable is trying to impress others. They want to show they are funny, intelligent, and a great storyteller. They think being the life of the party is the road to likability. However, study after study shows that it’s a lot easier to be likable. All you have to do is show interest in others. To put it simply: If you like people, you will become more likable. There’s a slight wrinkle in the notion that liking more people makes you more likable. Many people you like aren’t sure that you like them. The psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias says it best. We tend to overestimate how clearly we broadcast our feelings and intentions towards others. So, the person we like and who likes us may not know the feeling is mutual. Meet the expert behind this idea “We think our signals are obvious,” Vanessa Van Edwards told Steve Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast. “If we like someone or if we’re having a good time, we think, ‘Oh, they for sure know it.’ They don’t.” Van Edwards is a communications expert and the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People. To help people clearly communicate their feelings, Van Edwards suggests three “magic phrases” to show you care. Check out the video below. Phrase 1: ‘I was just thinking of you’ “You think of a lot of people in your life all the time,” she said. “If you are thinking of someone and you can text them: ‘I was just thinking of you, how are you?’ ‘I was just thinking of you, how’d that project go?’ ‘I was just thinking of you, it has been a while since we talked.’ You see a movie, you see a documentary, you see a matcha latte, you see a mug, you see a ceramic candle, and you’re like, ‘Ah, this made me think of you,’” Van Edwards said. “My text messages, my conversations, are full of actual moments where I was triggered to think of that person, actually,” she said, noting the importance of being genuine. “If you don’t think of someone, they’re not a person you need to have in your life.” Phrase 2: ‘You’re always so …’ “So if you’re with someone and you’re impressed by them or they’re interesting or they’re funny, say, ‘You always make me laugh. You’re always so interesting,’ or ‘You’re always so great in interviews.’ Giving them a label that is a positive label is the best gift you can give someone, because it’s fighting that signal amplification bias,” she continued. Phrase 3: ‘Last time we talked, you mentioned …’ “We are so honored when we get brain space—that you remembered and you’re going to bring it up,” she said. “And you specifically bring up something that they lit up with, something they were like, ‘Ah, it was great, it was exciting, it was wonderful.’” Putting it all into practice If studies show the more you like other people, the more likable you become, Van Edwards has the next logical step in becoming more likable. She makes it clear that, due to signal amplification bias, many people you like may not even know it. When we employ her three ways to be more likeable, though, we can let people know we like them without making them feel uncomfortable, thus establishing a bond to build on. This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post Social skills expert shares 3 ‘magic phrases’ that make you more likable appeared first on Upworthy.

In the 1960s, psychologist Julian Stanley realized that if you took the best-testing seventh graders from around the country and gave them standard college entry exams, those kids would score, on average, about as well as the typical college-bound high school senior. However, the seventh graders who scored as well or better than high schoolers, Stanley found, had off-the-charts aptitude in quantitative, logical, and spatial reasoning. In other words, they were gifted. In the 1970s, Stanley and his team launched a full-scale study, identifying many of America’s gifted kids and tracking them throughout their lives. The study, called the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth never ended and is now more than 50 years in the making. It has followed countless kids from middle school into their careers as some of America’s top politicians, scientists, CEOs, engineers, and military leaders. Needless to say, a lot has changed with how students are today compared to 50 years ago. Stanley passed away in the mid-2000s, but psychologist David Lubinski helped bring the study to Vanderbilt University in the 1990s, where he now co-directs it with Camilla P. Benbow. Why this study matters so much It’s not a stretch to call this the biggest and most in-depth study on intellectual “precociousness.” The results of the study thus far are both fascinating and genuinely surprising, a deeply insightful look into the minds and lives of brilliant children. 1. Some of what we used to think about gifted kids turned out to be wrong. Ever heard the saying “early to ripe, early to rot”? It basically means doing “too much” to foster a kid’s special talents and abilities at too young an age could actually cause harm in the long term. That’s not even remotely true, at least not according to Lubinski. That might be an outdated example. But Lubinksi says there are plenty of other misconceptions still alive today, like the idea that gifted kids are so smart that they’ll “find a way” to excel even if those smarts aren’t nurtured and developed. Not so fast. “They’re kids,” he explains. “They need guidance. We all need guidance.” 2. Intelligence is not the same as passion Quick, what’s the “smartest” career you can think of? Doctor? Scientist? While you do have to be pretty brilliant to work in medicine or science, those are far from the only career paths gifted kids choose later in life. “Quantitatively, gifted people vary widely in their passions,” Lubinski says. Many of the students in the study did end up pursuing medicine, but others went into fields like economics or engineering. Others still were more gifted in areas like logical or verbal reasoning, making them excellent lawyers and writers. “There are all kinds of ways to express intellectual talent,” Lubinski explains. When it comes to doing what’s best for a gifted student, it’s just as important for parents and educators to know what the student is passionate about rather than pigeonholing them in traditionally “smart” fields and registering them in a bunch of STEM courses. Students taking a test. Photo credit: Canva 3. Hard work definitely still matters Measuring a student’s aptitude, their natural abilities, is only one part of the equation when it comes to determining how successful they’ll be in life. Aptitude scores can identify a particularly strong natural skill set but tell us very little about how hard that person might work to excel in that field. Effort, Lubinski says, is a critical factor in determining how far someone will go in life. “If you look at exceptional performers in politics, science, music, and literature, they’re working many, many hours,” he says. (And for the record, there are a lot more important things in life than just career achievement, like family, friends, and overall happiness.) The idea that hard work still matters aligns with the 10,000-hour rule, popularized by journalist Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers: The Story of Success. The 10,000-hour rule suggests that some of the world’s greatest innovators, including Bill Gates, The Beatles, and Robert Oppenheimer, excelled in their endeavors because they had 10,000 hours of practice. Students around a computer. Photo credit: Canva 4. Regardless of aptitude, every kid deserves to be treated as though they were gifted The study’s focus is specifically on kids within a specific range of intellectual ability, but Lubinski is careful to note that many of its findings can and should be applied to all students. For example, the children in the study who were allowed to take more challenging courses aligned with their skills and interests ultimately achieved more than those who were not afforded the same opportunity. “You have to find out where your child’s development is, how fast they learn, what are their strengths and relative weaknesses and tailor the curriculum accordingly,” Lubinski says. “It’s what you would want for all kids.” What this means for all kids It may sound a bit like a pipe dream, but it’s a great starting point for how we should be thinking about the future of education in America. After all, the SMPY data doesn’t just tell us something about the kids who tested in the top 1%. It tells us something universal: potential rarely announces itself fully formed. It has to be noticed, challenged, and given room to grow, whether that’s a math prodigy who needs to skip ahead a few grades or a kid with a quieter talent that doesn’t show up on any standardized test at all. Fifty years of tracking some of the most capable people in the country boils down to a pretty simple idea. Pay attention to what a kid is actually good at and actually loves, then get out of the way and let them run with it.in America. This article originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated. The post A study followed ‘gifted’ kids for over 50 years. Here’s what we’ve learned about them. appeared first on Upworthy.

Showing kindness doesn’t cost a thing, but its impact is always worth its weight in gold. We typically experience kindness from other humans, but all living creatures are capable making a kindness connection, even across species. A sweet squirrel is certainly proof of that. Originally shared in a since-deleted TikTok and then an abandoned Reddit subforum, r/AnimalsBeingGeniuses, an astonishing video of a heartfelt but indirect interaction between a woman and the squirrel she’s been feeding continues to make its rounds on the Internet since it was first posted a year ago. The footage is unbelievable and totally wholesome. squirrel leaves a cookie as gratitude for the woman who daily feeds him byu/i-am-ampersand inAnimalsBeingGeniuses The mystery behind the mystery cookie The moment appears to have been captured by the woman’s security or ring camera mounted at the entrance of her house. In it, we can see her climbing up the stairs with a package in her hand. After she stops in front of the entrance and starts looking for the house keys, her eyes catch something unusual. The bright red color of the object placed on the window sill next to the door is actually a cookie placed with such care that it has to be intentional. The woman appears puzzled and looks around to figure out how the treat ended up in an odd place like that. As the video continues, the mystery is solved. Before the woman arrives home, a brown squirrel can be seen carefully climbing the railing on her front steps while carrying the cookie in its mouth. It hops up to the window sill and places the cookie neatly near the entrance where it can’t be missed. The squirrel doesn’t linger and swiftly makes its way back to the railing. It turns out, the squirrel’s sweet gesture had a story behind it. The woman had been feeding the same squirrel every day at her home and it had become a regular visitor. To thank the lady for her generosity, the squirrel brought a single cookie for her. The internet had feelings about this The adorable footage won over people on the Internet in an instant. On the Reddit thread, user u/wpgjudi explained, “Squirrels are neurotic. 80% of what they store, they forget and they are the national animal of ADHD running around, storing as much as possible, then freaking out, unable to find it or forget and realizing summer is rushing by, start a new hoard.” Another user, u/a-buck-three-eighty, shared, “We feed squirrels in the winter. Sometimes they knock on the door if we’re late. In exchange, they planted a tree for me in the middle of an empty planter. I nurtured it and planted it in the ground. Now they hang out in it as it gets taller.” ㅤ And user u/CollapsingTheWave commented, “My cat would bring mice, baby squirrels, baby rabbits, birds, moles, random varmint organs… Once she brought a live mouse as a gift, we promptly took it far down the driveway and released it. That same evening she brought us the poor mouse’s severed head complete with spine and nothing else. I think she didn’t take too kindly to releasing it but she has since passed.” ㅤ Why these moments never get old Humans and animals make connections all the time whether it’s pets and their owners or these chance encounters with wildlife. However it happens, we never tire of seeing these wholesome interactions that remind us we’re all one big family and kindness matters no matter our species. This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated. The post Woman feeds squirrel daily and then it leaves a surprise treat at her door appeared first on Upworthy.

When people talk about the world older generations grew up in, it’s often looked at through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. Life was simpler back then. We didn’t have all the trappings of technology or the burdens of busy modern life. Sure, we had to do more things manually, but the world was safer and cleaner and generally better back then, right? Not so fast. As some of the younger generations have noticed, the 1970s is often spoken about with nostalgic fondness but portrayed differently in entertainment. That observation led someone to ask Gen Xers and Boomers, “Were the 1970s really as grimy and gloomy and sleazy as the movies make it look?” Surprisingly, folks who lived through the ’70s took off their rose-colored glasses to remind us all of how far we’ve actually come in the past 50 years. Were the 1970s really as grimy and gloomy and sleazy as the movies make it look? byu/SandNo2865 inAskOldPeople While “grimy” and “gloomy” and “sleazy” may be strong terms, they’re not entirely inaccurate, according to the older folks who responded to the question. Of course, some places had more problems than others and big cities had it the worst, but some of the “grime” was widespread. Here are the truths behind the film portrayals: Smog in Los Angeles While L.A. still struggles with air quality, it has seen a vast, visible improvement since the days of thick, brown smog hovering over the city and people mistaking it for a gas attack. Downtown 1968. Yeah, this tracks. Those of us who grew up in LA up thru the 1970s recall not being able to make out buildings or mountains just blocks away on bad smog days & you'd cough just by inhaling a deep breath. I've never smoked but I'm sure my lungs think otherwise. pic.twitter.com/QEljzskXrn— L.A. Dork (@la_dorkout) July 25, 2025 “I lived in Los Angeles as a kid, and it wasn’t unusual to have days we weren’t allowed to go outside at school because the smog was so bad it literally hurt to breathe.” “An old joke that probably doesn’t make sense nowadays: ‘What do you see in California when the smog lifts? UCLA.'” “We called them Smog alerts. We couldn’t go out for recess on those days.” “The mountains were mythical, growing up in L.A. On the occasional clear day you’d hear people saying, ‘Wait, those are there all the time?’ Thank goodness for better emissions control.” Air and water pollution in general The Environmental Protection Agency was begun under President Nixon in 1970, and it would take awhile for the new department to get established and policies to take hold. On the creation of NOAA & EPA under his signature:“Congress, the Administration and the public all share a profound commitment to the rescue of our natural environment, and the preservation of the Earth as a place both habitable by and hospitable to man.”—Richard Nixon 1970 pic.twitter.com/NnZ2nYm5sy— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 23, 2025 “Yes. 60’s and 70’s every major American city had days where there was really low visibility, distant landmarks obscured, brown, white, rusty, hazy cast and layers. Car, truck and bus exhaust pollution. In some areas, strong chemical and odors from factories and animal processing plants. In the winter you could taste the sulfur in the air from some smaller city power stations burning coal. Flying into some cities was a descent from clean air into a dark brown layer of pollution.” “Bad enough that the EPA was born at that time; Woodsy Owl, the ‘Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute’ mascot was born; the Crying Indian commercial was first broadcast; the Clean Water Act was amended (originally from 1948 and called Federal Water Pollution Control Act). We lived near a refinery town in the 60s and 70s. Gawd, I had asthma and was constantly having to go to the hospital, to the point the doctors told my parents to keep me inside. Or course, them being smokers made it pretty much from the frying pan to the fire. The 70s were the years of introducing environmental awareness to a population that was coughing, hacking and used to brown air.” “That was when people finally said ‘Wait, you mean rivers aren’t supposed to catch fire when a train passes by and some sparks fly off the rail?’ and ‘What do you mean they’re actually supposed to have flowing water in them, instead of oozing sludge?'” Littering was commonplace It might be hard to imagine now, but it was totally normal in certain eras to just throw your trash out the window of your car or leave your bottles or cans wherever you finished them. “I think everyone kinda forgets how much trash there was. My generation grew up with the crying Indian and ‘give a hoot, don’t pollute.’ Before that, people really did just throw their trash out the car windows. There was a LOT more trash on the roads.” “We used to make a fair bit of money picking up aluminum cans, and smashing them to sell for scrap. Loads of them.” “It was quite common for people to throw trash out of their cars. beer bottles by the side of the road. In the late 1970s, Michigan voted in bottle deposits, and afterwards there was quite a difference in the roadside as you crossed the Ohio border in I-75. With the deposits, there was more incentive to pick them up, too, because each one was worth a dime. Didn’t take too many to pay for a $1 movie that had already been in the big theaters for a month or two.” “Recycling was pretty much non-existent. It seemed that people burned trash a lot more commonly, as well.” “There’s a scene in Mad Men where they have a picnic and Don casually pitches his beer can into the woods. It used to be like that.” Times Square was NSFW If people think Times Square is tacky now, with all of its flashy billboards, it’s a far cry from the “sleazy” strip it used to be. A photo near Times Square from 1973. Dan McCoy/Wikimedia Commons “That Times Square scene in Taxi Driver was Cinema Verite, it was exactly like that.” “Yeah, I used to have to travel to New York in the late ‘70s. The sleaze factor around Times Square was significant.” “Times Square was full of porn theaters and you didn’t go to what is now the High Line neighborhood unless you wanted hookers and blow.” “First time I went to NYC as a kid in like 1994 I remember a ton of porn theaters. They must have cleaned them all up within a few years, because I never saw them again on later visits.” People smoked everywhere My mom told me highschools had smoking areas when she was younger pic.twitter.com/OqEKlDvEh1— Thrilla the Gorilla (@ThrillaRilla369) October 18, 2025 “Everyone smoked. Everyone and everywhere. I can’t believe we all don’t have lung cancer. Even us nonsmokers.” “Restaurants and Bars were smoky greasy and pretty grimy. It had to be a really nice place to smell fresh. The lighting was terrible. Most places had terrible air circulation. Everywhere reeked of cigarette, pipe and cigar smoke. Food odors. Old grease.” “Grimy? Yes. People smoked in their offices. After hours outside in the unemployment line, get to stand in line an oxygen free smoke filled enclosed sea of humanity with one bathroom to be insulted by cranky civil servants. Seems every building had cigarette and cigar tar wall and ceiling coatings.” So what’s the actual takeaway Were there a lot of great things about the 1970s? Of course. There’s a lot that we can take from every decade that was positive, including the one we are living through now. But this reflection on the less-than-stellar elements of the ’70s and the big improvements we’ve made since then on all of these fronts should give us hope that we are capable of collectively moving in the right direction. This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post Gen Xers and Boomers share ‘grimy’ parts of the 70s they were happy to leave behind appeared first on Upworthy.

Flying on airplanes with dozens of perfect strangers is, in many ways, a social experiment. We’re forced to sit in seats that aren’t big enough for most of us, uncomfortably close to people we don’t know (some of whom are stressed out or anxious), with unclear social etiquette rules we haven’t all collectively agreed upon. And yet we do it because the miracle of human flight enabling us to travel in hours to places that used to take days, weeks, or even longer, is too awesome to pass up. Most of us have things we’d prefer our fellow passengers do or not do to make the experience better for everyone, however, so we asked our Upworthy Facebook audience, “If you could enforce one social rule during flights, what would it be?” The responses were largely what you might expect and you can see them below, but there was one unexpected comment that stood out. The rule that received the most love, with over 1,200 likes, was this one: “So, are you guys serving snacks soon, or….” Photo credit: Canva Any dog on the plane has to visit every passenger that requests While not everyone loves dogs, most people do. And what would make a flight more enjoyable than getting to meet a dog on board? Perhaps we can start a petition to make cabin doggy visits for anyone who wants them an official thing… 10 rules every flier should follow Other responses were helpful reminders of both common courtesy and somewhat standard airplane etiquette for those who might not fly often enough to be familiar with it. In addition to the “meet the dog” rule, here are 10 more social rules people wish they could enforce on flights: 1. Be nice to flight attendants Imagine being responsible for both the comfort and safety of 100+ people from different places with different needs in a cabin hurtling through the sky 30,000 feet above the Earth. Flight attendants deal with a wide array of people day in and day out, and we should all make sure we treat them with the kindness and respect that they deserve. 2. Middle seat gets the armrests Nobody should be hogging the armrests, but if anyone has a right to them, it’s the sacrificial soul who has to sit in the middle seat. (And window seat controls the window, in case that’s not common sense.) 3. Headphones, please No one wants to listen to your video but you. Imagine if everyone listened to movies or YouTube videos or whatever without headphones, total social chaos. In public and on planes, use headphones to listen or watch something. 4. No ‘manspreading’ We all know the legroom on flights has become practically non-existent, and for people with long legs it can be hard to not bang your knees up against the seat in front of you. But spreading your legs apart so wide that it infringes on other people’s leg space just isn’t cool. We’re all in the same boat, so we have to respect one another’s space. 5. Keep your shoes and socks on There may be an exception here for long-haul flights as long as you keep your socks on and don’t have stinky feet, but bringing a pair of slippers or something is still courteous. But definitely keep your socks on and be aware that you might not be able to tell if your own feet smell. 6. Don’t put a second bag or a jacket in the overhead bin until everyone has put their first bag in Overhead space is limited, so wait until everyone has had a chance to get their carry-on into that space before adding more than your one bag to it. Once everyone’s settled in, feel free to add whatever overflow you have. 7. Try not to fart We’ve all been on a flight where someone let one rip and made everyone’s eyes water. Unless you have zero choice in the matter, refrain from dropping gas bombs on your fellow passengers. We’re all human and humans fart, but an airplane cabin is a tight spot where people can’t get away. At least take it to the lavatory if you can. 8. Be aware of smells in general Come clean and fresh, but not perfumed. Deodorant? Yes, please. Strong cologne or perfume? No. Food that emits a strong odor? Also no. 9. Stay quiet during the safety demonstration Some people fly all the time and could recite the safety demonstration spiel by heart, but that doesn’t mean everyone is familiar with it. It only takes a few minutes and first-time flyers need to hear it. It’s respectful to the flight attendants to not talk through their presentation and courteous to other passengers who need to listen. 10. Remain seated until it’s your row’s turn to deplane On most flights, as soon as the plane arrives at the gate and the seatbelt sign is turned off, people rush to stand up and gather their luggage. But it’s always going to take several minutes to even start getting the first passengers off the plane, and it’s not going to go any faster to crowd into the aisle. A little courtesy goes a long way If we all follow these “rules,” flying can be a more pleasant experience for everyone, even our good doggo friends who might be on board. None of this requires a rulebook or a flight attendant playing referee. It just takes a little basic awareness that you’re sharing a small metal tube with a hundred strangers who are all just trying to get where they’re going with their sanity intact. Keep your elbows to yourself, your shoes on, your volume down, and maybe let a stranger’s dog say hello if you’re lucky enough to be seated near one. Turns out the secret to better flying was always this simple. This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post We asked people what social rule they’d enforce during flights. One sweet answer dominated. appeared first on Upworthy.