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‘kayandtay’ dad Taylor Dudley opens up about the tricky balance between parent and content creator
Raising a family of three isn’t easy. Now try to be a new father in front of 20 million social media followers. Taylor Dudley and his wife Kay Dudley have grown their accounts—and their family—all at the same time. The couple first met in Oklahoma, but in 2022, they decided to record and post their everyday life as an experiment. It wasn’t long before things took off under the moniker of “Kay and Tay.” Upworthy spoke to him about all things “Dad” for Father’s Day.
Upworthy: How do you wrap your mind around all this popularity? Is this what you envisioned happening, or do you view it more as a happy, wonderful miracle?
Taylor: I think there’s definitely some strategy to it. I don’t lean too heavily into trying to grow a raw follower count or anything—that’s not my end goal. For Kay and me, the ultimate goal is to document our day. I think that’s what resonates with people. Your intentions come through in the content, whether you want them to or not. If you’re just thirsty for followers, it’s going to show up. And since we’re not that way, I think that people feel that genuine connection.
Upworthy: Lately on your channels, we’ve seen everything from finding a crack in your home’s window frame to teaching one of your daughters the alphabet for the first time. It made me wonder: do you have a “typical fan” who tunes into you? And who would that be?
Taylor: When you get to this size of following, it kind of hits everyone at that point. We have grandparents who watch us, teenagers, parents—it’s kind of all over the place. There are no expectations. We could find something by our window that needs to be remedied, and the next day, we’re just playing with a new toy. The way Kay and I like to do it, we just post the most fun moment of the day. The rest of the day becomes our stories on Instagram, and that is less edited. It does well because it’s natural.
@kayandtayofficial Her “uhm no thanks” backstory ::: Kay has really wanted to start getting Ellie ready for pre-school, so she got a bunch of activities for Ellie to do to help her learn! We decided to start calling it school, and we’d do a few of them each day. Ellie is so excited and since then she’s been asking to do school over and over! I am so excited for Ellie to start learning so much! She’s so smart and is always wanting to learn more! it’s hard to think that she’s 2 and a half! #kayandtayofficial #couples #relationships ♬ original sound – Kay and Tay
Upworthy: I assume that a fair number of influencers or lifestyle vloggers start their day asking, “How do we make something special happen?” Your philosophy has always been to just film, and you see what happens. Do you ever feel the pressure that you might come up short?
Taylor: No, I think that’s the beauty of not having expectations. People seem to enjoy the mundane. I never know what the video will be. Yesterday, we got invited to the new Universal Kids Resort in Frisco, TX. And so, I knew the video was probably going to be us walking around that resort. If something interesting is happening, you hit record and point the camera in that direction. It’s funny. I’ve done this so long now that I don’t even look at the camera when I’m recording. My hand naturally knows what to do. I don’t know how else to describe it. You know the audience is seeing the same thing I’m seeing.
@kayandtayofficial Should we open up our walls? backstory ::: Kay was dusting the baseboards, which we haven’t done in a long time, and she noticed something behind a blanket basket in our room. The window looks like it is separating and there is a dark spot in the corner of the window! We decided to start looking around at other windows and found another spot on one more window! Now we are worried that we may be dealing with a mold problem! So we are going to have to figure out who we need to call to get this looked at! We have been sleeping next to this window, so hopefully it hasn’t been there long! #kayandtayofficial #couples #relationships ♬ original sound – Kay and Tay
Upworthy: Part of the appeal for your audience must be your openness as a family.
Taylor: Oh yeah, definitely. I like to say that my job is just being a dad. It’s the best job you could have. I’m like, the VHS Dads of the ’90s and early 2000s who brought camcorders to Christmas and just recorded everyone. My dad was a big VHS Dad. I think of myself as the 2020s version of that. I’m just recording those things every day, and I get to look back at them. It’s cool because there are so many memories I’ve forgotten, but then I can go back, watch them, and they come back to me. I can’t think of a better job in the world, to be honest.
@kayandtayofficial She will always be daddy’s little girl… #kayandtayofficial #couples #relationships ♬ original sound – Kay and Tay
Upworthy: You’re also just a dad who wants the best for your kids. You’re trying to educate and engage with them on their level. Do you have to think about that balance?
Taylor: There’s definitely a balance to it and a lot of overlap. When we’re playing with Ellie, a minute of that might be me recording it, and the next 10 to 15 minutes might just be me playing, you know? It overlaps a lot when it comes to editing a video and preparing it for socials. I like to do that kind of stuff when they’re napping. It’s a game of optimizing the maximum amount of dad and husband time I can have, while leaving time for creating content and putting the day’s journey online. There’s no hard line. I like to call it “milestone content.” I like to reach a point where I feel I’ve documented that day well enough.
Upworthy: You mentioned the VHS Dad thing—that you inherited that from your father. Do you think you inherited other parts of his parenting style?
Taylor: Oh, for sure. I mean, my, like, love for the camera. That started when I was a kid, from my dad. He would film Christmas and birthdays, and I always thought that was so interesting. Plugging in the Hi8 tapes to watch them on TV. That’s a hobby that was definitely passed down to me.
Upworthy: And what about some traits that you have that you hope might pass down to your kids?
Taylor: I want Ellie to be brave. For example, a lot of kids can be scared of bugs, but I like to go hands-on with [my kids] and say, “Look, you know, this is nothing to be afraid of.” My wife, Kay, is terrified of bugs. But Ellie, she’s like, “Whatever—it’s a bug. I’m not scared.” Yesterday, we were at the new Universal Kids Resort, and there’s a rollercoaster she met the height requirement for. Which is crazy to think about because she’s 2 and a half. And so we were like, “Let’s try it.” She watched it go around and didn’t seem leery. So, we let her ride, and she loved it! She wanted to ride it over and over again. We could have a thrill seeker, a little roller coaster kid. Those are experiences that will shape her.
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Upworthy: Kay & Tay is dipping its toes into additional branding opportunities besides your social media content. For instance, Kay has a popular line of leather goods as well as your line of high-end HyrdoJug water bottles featuring your family’s pastel aesthetic.
Taylor: Yes, we started a brand recently, and there’s a lot of work that goes into that. If you create a viral product everyone wants, you might end up winning financially, but I find making the videos every day much more rewarding. So yeah, I’m fully content with the kind of lifestyle that we have. If we made content that was more performative, that wasn’t who we naturally are, that’s where I feel like you run into that fatigue that a lot of people get in this industry. But because we’re just being ourselves and doing what we would have done that day anyway—plus a camera—it rarely feels like work, to be honest.
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Upworthy: With your kids, you have an interesting spread of ages at home. You have a teen [Kinsley] who’s not on-camera, plus a toddler and a baby. That’s three very different phases of life to parent. How do you juggle all of that?
Taylor: Kay helps a lot, but having two babies is a handful. She ends up focusing on Sutton since she’s breastfeeding. And then I end up helping with Ellie. For example, my wife Kay is 5 feet tall, and Ellie’s getting bigger, so like getting her in PJs and up into bed—it’s a lot.
Kinsley is going into high school, so she’s kind of doing everything herself. She’s making decisions at this point. That’s where the balance changes a little bit. There’s kind of enrichment for each one. Kinsley likes to hit the volleyball outside or swim in the pool, so you have to make time for that. Sutton is happy to just have me set three different toys down in front of her so she can wiggle them back and forth in her hand. Ellie is somewhere in between, where she is just running everywhere. So, you need to make sure you’re giving each child attention in their own way, in ways they enjoy.
Upworthy: How do you see your life, family, and relationships changing over time with this job?
Taylor: Our content’s very natural and in the moment. We’ve always said that if the kids aren’t interested, they don’t have to be here. It’s not something that they’re like signed up for, you know? Kinsley, for example, has no interest in it, and that’s completely fine. I just don’t point the camera in her direction. And the same goes for Ellie. Some days, we’re filming something, and Ellie’s just running around nowhere near the camera. There’s no script or rhyme or reason to it.
So, as they get older, if they’re like, “I’m playing in my room with Legos, and I don’t really want to film,” that’s perfectly fine with me. Like I said, there’s no expectation in our audience. I’m confident that I could put anything up, and if we’re being ourselves and having a good time, and I can show you the emotions that we’re feeling that day, it would continue to perform well.
Upworthy: Father’s Day is coming up. If you had one piece of fatherly advice to pass on, what would that be?
Taylor: My best advice is to take in every moment. I get to be a part of it because I’m at home all the time, but it’s still never enough. And so, take in all those little moments and enjoy them. As you were saying, they only grow forward. Ellie has outgrown so many things that she’ll never do again, and the only memory I have of that is those videos. Everyone’s growing up at the same time. Your kids are growing up, but you are also growing up, and we all only live once. You have to make the most of it, you know. Celebrate it a little bit.
@kayandtayofficial Ellie’s ABC song! backstory ::: Ellie got a new microphone because her old one broke, and when she talked into the new one for the first time, Sutton laughed so hard! Every time Ellie would say anything in the mic, Sutton would start giggling so much. It was so cute watching them bond and watching Sutton try her hardest to get over to Ellie so she could talk into it! Ellie loves being silly, and so it just made her day to make Sutton laugh like that! It’s so cute watching Sutton finally be old enough to play with her sister! #kayandtayofficial #couples #relationships ♬ original sound – Kay and Tay
This interview has been edited for time and clarity.
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