Science says that humans are naturally social creatures, but often in real life, nothing about interacting with others feels natural. Even the most confident people can struggle with what to say, how to read a room, or when to jump into a conversation. But according to Reddit, there are a handful of clever tricks that can give anyone a boost. When one user posed the question: “What’s an actual psychological ‘cheat code’ you use in social situations that works almost every time?” responsefs flooded in, revealing simple strategies for everything from memory recall to dealing with an enemy. The 15 tricks people swear by 1. Act like everyone loves you, even strangers “I pretend everyone I meet is in love with me. I mean, not literally. I’m not a complete narcissist. But I’ll start conversations with strangers who give me a smile or a knowing look. Assuming they like me makes me feel more likable. I’ve made friends more easily in my 30s than I did at any other time in my life.” 2. Switch gears during times of anger by getting a ‘yes’ “When someone is angry, like irrationally, psychotically angry, get them to say ‘yes’ to anything. (E.g. Are you mad? Do you want help? Do you want me to give you space?) It engages a different part of the brain, and after that’s engaged, you can help them with problem solving.” 3. Visualize it going well “Before I go to an event, I imagine the room, the people in it, and the way I want to feel while I’m in the room. Sometimes I imagine a light sweeping over everyone like it’s sprinkling good vibes. I’ve noticed that it makes me feel more confident and easy going when I have some anxiety about going somewhere.” 4. Deal with a loud talker by speaking quietly “Speaking at a lower volume if someone is being unnecessarily loud. One of my best friends has a LOUD voice she is completely unaware of, which can be incredibly annoying when we’re in public, so I will lower my speaking volume and she will subconsciously lower hers to match my volume.” 5. Make peace with silence “Being comfortable in silence is power. Especially in any sort of negotiation, complaint, somebody asking for something or vice versa. For some reason when you stay quiet, people break.” 6. Build people up behind their back “Build up people who are part of the same social circle but aren’t currently present. For example, if you’re out at dinner with your normal circle of friends and one of them isn’t there, talk them up and share something positive about them to the rest of the group. Without consciously thinking about it, we start to become aware of the kind of things people in our social circles say about us when we’re not present.” 7. Use flattery to deal with an enemy “Someone doesn’t like you? Give them a genuine compliment. Keyword: genuine.” Read the room 8. Raise a brow. Two, actually. “Raise my eyebrows when I smile hello. Usually we only do that for people we recognize so it makes people feel like they are already accepted.” 9. Take note of last conversation you had with someone “Remember what they said to you the last time you saw them. If you last saw them a month ago, if you remember they were doing a thing, remember that thing and mention it.” 10. A simple trick when you don’t remember someone “If someone comes up to you and says hi, and you can’t remember how you know that person, then say ‘how have you been’ instead of ‘how are you.’ 99% of the time they’ll start telling you about something that was going on the last time they saw you, and that will jog your memory about where you know them from.” 11. React to repetition with kindness “It’s a small one, but it comes up often enough that it’s been useful. People often repeat themselves and a knee-jerk response to someone bringing up something you’d already heard about is ‘You’ve told me this already,’ which incidentally has a somewhat negative connotation to it. Instead of saying that, say ‘I remember you told me about this.’ It’s more kindly affirming to the other person that you’ve listened when they told you the details/story in the past while also serving as a gentle reminder that they’ve already shared it.” 12. Smile at passive aggression “An effective way to deal with passive-aggressive comments is ‘stupid and cheerful.’ Don’t read into their comment, rise above it.” Just good life advice 13. Treat all staff with dignity “Always learn the names of the front office receptionists, custodians, maintenance crew at your place of work/volunteering/etc. Always say hello to them and treat them like human beings. You would be surprised at how nice they treat you and help you out.” 14. Let yourself be corrected “When you want to learn something – facts, rumors, gossip, etc. State the fact but leave 1 detail intentionally wrong. The other person will love to correct you and give you ALL the information. It feeds their ego, you learn what you wanted, everyone is happy with the result. It works when I use it. I know it works on me as well.” And finally… 15. Pretend the person you’re talking to is about to die “One thing that I’ll do when someone is irritating or boring me is to imagine (to myself! silently!) that they will actually die in the next 24 hours, painlessly. My job, then, is to help them have a good final 24 hours. It sounds morbid, but it’s not. There’s meaning and joy that can be pulled out of many moments, even dull and irritating ones.” At their core, many of these tricks are really just a different way of choosing kindness. And that truly is a strategy that works every time. This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post 15 psychological ‘cheat codes’ people swear ‘work every time’ for social situations appeared first on Upworthy.

Have you ever been to a party and run into someone new, only to immediately think that they have above-average intelligence? They probably didn’t begin to explain the theory of relativity or delve into the differences between Keynesian and Austrian economics, but you knew that they were very intelligent. What was it that made you realize they were incredibly smart? It was probably the attitude they had about learning new information and the care they took in ensuring that, while in conversation, their answers were thoughtful and they didn’t just talk to hear themselves talk. There was probably something very intentional about how they approached the conversation. A Redditor asked the ProductivityCafe subforum, “What’s a subtle sign that someone is very intelligent?” and people shared the characteristics they believe highly intelligent individuals possess. Ultimately, the commenters believe that highly intelligent individuals are curious, exhibit great cognitive flexibility, and have no problem admitting when they don’t know something. Here are 15 ‘subtle’ signs that someone is very intelligent 1. They admit when they don’t know something “They’re perfectly happy to admit when they don’t know something. They see it as an opportunity to learn more and not as socially embarrassing.” “To brag a lot and toot my own horn, I’m an engineer at NASA. There is little to no pride in knowing things from my peers. We all genuinely enjoy learning and are often happy to be proven wrong. And everyone in our group can explain complex things elegantly and simply. I hope I do both of those things, and strive to.” 2. They make things easy to understand “They can explain complicated things in a way that breaks it down and makes it easy to understand for those not ‘in-the-know.'” One of the clearest signs of intelligence: How many words it takes you to say something. pic.twitter.com/3CjYeQotn3— Codie Sanchez (@Codie_Sanchez) June 24, 2026 “This is probably the best answer. If you can explain physics, math, interpersonal tumult in a way that a younger person can understand, that’s true intelligence. Passing of knowledge without condescension is my goal at least.” 3. They know what they don’t know “I work with some legitimately brilliant doctors. They will ALWAYS defer to another specialist’s opinion on an area that isn’t their specialty, often saying they’ll refer to someone smarter than them. The more someone knows, the more they realise how much they don’t know.” 4. They are open-minded “And will change their opinion when presented with new information. Stupid people just double down.” “A wise person has more questions than they have answers.” Opinions should be based on facts, not ego 5. They follow the data “An intelligent person will not box themselves into a position they can’t change, because an intelligent person will pivot the moment they realize they’re wrong. A person of lesser intelligence will call that ‘flip-flopping’ but it’s really following the data.” 6. They don’t take sides until they know they are right “This makes me think of something a math professor said to a class I was in, rough paraphrase from memory: ‘You know, grids are a lot like arguments; Sides are for polygons, not arguments. Arguments have no shape, so the only useful reference is what position you’re taking in relation to the argument. Same with grids!’ That guy had so many strangely useful little nuggets like that he’d just lead off with to engage people and help them understand that math is just about numbers and number-rules. He’d argue if you know what to do at all times, math isn’t hard… it’s just complicated.” 7. They’re good listeners “They’re a good listener, and remember what they heard from the speaker. Also, they’re discriminating in who they listen to.” “Discriminating who you listen to is hard when you’re younger, I feel like. I’m only 28, but picking whose opinion I value is so much easier now than it was five years ago.” 8. They’re funny “Not every smart person can be witty, but a witty person is smart for sure.” “I think this point often gets lost. I’ve never met a really funny person who wasn’t also very smart.” 9. It’s all in the eyes “The eyes. There is a special glare when you are speaking or listening to an intelligent person that is just not there when intelligence is lacking.” “I feel like this is what I lack, and people can tell. Can’t show this when you have social anxiety and can’t focus!” Worry about getting it right, not being right 10. They change their minds “Cognitive flexibility. They take nothing as irrefutable and can change their mind when presented with new facts. Clarity and easy comprehension of new information.” “This is the basis for Bayes’ theorem, when presented with new plausible evidence, existence beliefs should be updated.” 11. They ask great questions “They ask amazingly insightful questions.” 12. They have elegant solutions “I really see lots of answers depending on subjective perception and personal experiences with probably smart people… It’s really about their world they live in not yours. There are rarely any common signs among any two smart people. But I’d say the two main hints are they can explain complicated stuff in far simpler terms and they can come up with good solutions to almost any problem they have adequate knowledge about. Being social depends a lot on your youth and how people treated you. Most ‘stupid’ people are threatened by intelligence and bully those who are intelligent.” 13. They can discuss controversial topics without getting riled up “They know how to have a mature, adult conversation when it comes to personal differences with people (as opposed to the usual defensive, denying, and deflective bullsh*t where the person you’re trying to communicate with doesn’t hear a word you say).” “Being able to see both sides of an argument or political issue without having their mind clouded by propaganda or bias. Also, changing their mind about such things when presented with different facts.” 14. They don’t blindly follow a party “When they don’t blindly align with one political party over the other and instead focus on actual issues.” “Yes. And this includes anarchists and libertarians. When will people quit feeling the need to put themselves in a box politically?” 15. They think before they speak “They think before they speak, some of the most intelligent people I’ve known haven’t spoken on impulse, they’ve always thought their words through carefully.” What all 15 of these have in common The common thread running through all 15 of these traits is surprisingly simple: intelligent people are more interested in understanding the world than in being seen as someone who already does. They ask questions, change their minds, admit gaps in their knowledge, and treat conversation as a two-way street rather than a performance. Which might be the most useful takeaway of all — because most of those things can be practiced, regardless of where you fall on any IQ scale. This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post 15 ‘subtle’ signs that someone is incredibly smart appeared first on Upworthy.

Six years ago, one of the most iconic Christmas sketches ever aired on Saturday Night Live. It’s called simply, “Christmas Robe,” and it depicts an average American family excitedly waking up on Christmas morning, running to the tree, and opening their presents. In song form, each member of the family takes turns rapping about their own gift haul: A hat, a drone, a pinball machine… Except for poor mom, played perfectly by Kristen Wiig, who only got a robe, that was 40% off. Things only get worse for Mom as she discovers that her stocking is also empty and she must now go make the family breakfast while everyone plays with their new gifts. If you haven’t seen it, here it is. It’s well worth watching in its entirety: The sketch got a lot of laughs and resonated deeply with people who watched it, especially moms. Why the sketch hit so many people so hard It’s no big secret that moms are the primary makers of Christmas magic in most Western families. While they get joy out of making the holidays special for their families, it’s a lot of exhausting work, made worse when it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. It’s implied, of course, that Kristen Wiig’s character bought everyone their presents while no one in the family bothered to think of her at all. Jessica Cushman Johnston writes for Motherly: “[Making Christmas magic] is not something my husband or my kids put on me, it’s my own deal. It’s also a tinsel-covered baton handed down from generation to generation of women. As a kid, I just thought the warm fuzzy feelings I felt on Christmas morning ‘happened.’ Now I know that the magic happens because someone is working hard, and now that someone is me.” Kristen Wiig’s character beautifully says it all with the dead-inside expression as she feigns excitement over her lonely robe. In just two and a half minutes, the cast and writers managed to capture a frustrating feeling that millions of women relate to. The sketch spawned discussions, think pieces, and even parodies when it aired in 2020. Real moms took to social media to “show off” their own robes in an act of solidarity. The sketch had, one could say, a moment. And then, quietly, it retired and took its place in the SNL holiday hall of fame, destined to be re-watched for years to come. View this post on Instagram And then something funny happened. People kept tuning in. The skit continued to reach new viewers, and somewhere along the line, a few people actually learned something from the extremely silly sketch. People say it actually changed their behavior Saturday Night Live‘s YouTube and social media are full of comments from viewers who say the sketch opened their eyes in a very real way. And even better, that they’re changing their behavior because of it: “As a retail worker, I actually heard multiple people reference this sketch while buying presents for their wife/mom this year. Thanks SNL!” “This skit changed Christmas in our house. The year it aired my husband made sure I didn’t get a robe and since this aired (okay, two Christmases have gone by) it’s a joy to see boxes under the tree and a full stocking- now in our house when I’m forgotten my husband says, “you got a robe” and adjusts the situation. Never thought a skit could change my life.” “I just saw this first time. I’m definitely going to buy better present next Christmas to my mom.” View this post on Instagram “A few years ago, I got a robe. This year, I got a new iPad plus all the accessories. SNL doing all the moms a solid.” “As a grown man, this skit is the first time I’ve realized how true this is. And now I feel so damn awful Gonna bombard moms with the presents this year” “Seriously! I got a bunch more stuff for my mom after seeing this! It’s so accurate. No more robes for mom!” “I was laughing at this, then realized my mom’s stocking was empty and ran out and bought her a truckload of stuff. Love you Mom!” “Thanks, SNL. After watching this with the family, I had the most bountiful Christmas ever!! And the gifts were wrapped instead of left in the bags the came in.” “This video did more to stimulate spending on Moms this year than almost anything else, guaranteed. Look at SNL actually making a difference with their humor” The comments go on and on, with the video now reaching over 12 million views. Some moms changed their behavior, too, after seeing the sketch. “This is spot on, and exactly why I now buy myself Christmas presents, without feeling guilty about it.” The trouble of moms unfairly shouldering too much labor around the holidays (and, well, most other times of the year) is not a new problem. Not by a long shot. So why has this skit reached people when other forms of messaging have failed to sway them? So why does satire work when nothing else does? Marie Nicola, a pop culture historian and cultural analyst, says that neither deeply serious essays nor the usual “mom is complaining again” dismissals can do what satire easily addresses. That’s the power of comedy at its best. “It allows the audience see what was historically unseen or ignored, and it validates the labour as visible and concrete, without being accusatory because it wraps the whole thing up in camp comedy and exaggeration. The skit makes it safe to laugh. This is what psychologists call benign violation,” she says. “SNL is showing viewers that something is wrong but they have made it safe enough that people can laugh at it instead of feeling attacked. Once the defenses drop, then recognition can flow through that opening.” The Humor Research Lab writes that humor occurs when an accepted “norm” is violated in a benign way, that’s the benign violation Nicola’s referring to. “Jokes … fail to be funny when either they are too tame or too risqué.” The best pieces of satire, the ones that reach the highest levels of cultural relevance, thread that needle perfectly. The norm, in this case, according to Nicola, is that it is “a privilege to curate the perfect holiday experience for the family, the gift is the joy in the moment and their memories for years to come.” We’re not allowed to talk about the dejection and exhaustion that come from all that hard work. This sketch gave a lot of people permission for the first time to do so. It’s not the first time that SNL’s comedy and satire have had a palpable effect on how we view the world. SNL has always had this kind of power Once SNL performed the “More Cowbell” sketch, none of us could look at the bizarrely overproduced “Don’t Fear the Reaper” the same way again. An old Eddie Murphy sketch got a lot of laughs out of the idea of “white privilege” long before it became a commonly known concept. And people had a hard time taking Sarah Palin seriously after Tina Fey’s spot-on yet over-the-top impersonation, with studies later investigating the “Tina Fey Effect’s” impact on the election. And now, the more than 12 million people who have seen “Christmas Robe” are going to have a hard time looking at Mom’s empty stocking without being reminded of Kristen Wiig’s pitch-perfect performance. Of course, “Christmas Robe” continues to land and connect with viewers today in part because it has not solved the problem of household inequities. The phenomenon continues to exist in spades. But the fact that it’s made even a small dent is pretty remarkable for a two-and-a-half-minute parody rap song. This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post People share how this iconic, 5-year-old SNL Christmas sketch ‘changed’ their holidays forever appeared first on Upworthy.

One of the strangest things about highly intelligent people is that they are very aware of what they don’t know. The psychological phenomenon known as the Dunning-Kruger effect suggests that the more intelligent someone is, the more they fixate on their perceived gaps in intelligence, leading them to underestimate themselves. Conversely, those who aren’t very intelligent overestimate their knowledge on a subject. The great mind might be more preoccupied with the gaps in its knowledge than the smaller mind that thinks it knows everything. How can someone see if they have a great mind? Philosophy expert Julian de Medeiros says it all goes back to Aristotle’s “rule of thumb.” De Medeiros writes a Substack on philosophy and has over 1.4 million followers on TikTok, where he analyzes the mysteries of love, intelligence, and friendship. How to know you are brilliant @julianphilosophy Simple theory about intelligence #intelligent #intelligence #smart #genius #creative #power ♬ original sound – Julian de Medeiros “Here’s a simple sign that you are intelligent, that you have a great mind, and it’s a simple theory, a rule of thumb, that goes back to an observation by the philosopher Aristotle, who once wrote: ‘No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness,’” de Medeiros says. “By which he meant that there’s a fine line indeed between being a genius and being a madman.” Schopenhauer on what makes a genius “As the philosopher Schopenhauer once wrote: ‘Talent is when you can hit a target no one else can hit. Genius is when you can hit a target no one else can see,” de Medeiros continued. “Now to have a great mind, therefore, means that you can see and think things that other people can’t. But this puts you on a kind of border where there’s a liminal line between what is real and what is not. Your mind is a double-edged sword, both a blessing and a curse, and that very intelligent people can also fall off the edge into the abyss.” Aristotle lived more than 2,300 years ago, when our knowledge of mental and physical health was a fraction of what we know now. But, interestingly, he was correct in believing that highly intelligent people may face greater psychological struggles than those of normal intelligence. The science backs up what Aristotle noticed A study in the academic journal Intelligence surveyed Mensa members and found that highly intelligent people are 20% more likely to receive an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) diagnosis. They are also 80% more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, and 182% more likely to have a mood disorder. Why is it that highly intelligent people are more likely to suffer from mental disorders? A study by the Hanely Center found that it may be caused by psychological excitability. Highly intelligent people are known to fixate on things. This can be a big help when you are problem-solving at work, but it can become a problem when you become preoccupied with a comment from your boss or a social interaction that you can’t stop playing over and over in your head. There is a funny way that life always seems to balance things out. You can either be unintelligent and think you know everything, or be brilliant and focused on everything you don’t know. It shows that, with respect to intelligence, having a psychological understanding of yourself is one of the keys to living a healthy and happy life. Or, as Aristotle once put it: “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated. The post Philosophy expert shares Aristotle’s simple way to know if you have a ‘great mind’ appeared first on Upworthy.

As kids, we often hear about the sacrifices adults make to ensure their families have what they need. Sometimes it takes becoming an adult to understand how deep that love truly is. When Shane Allen was a kid, his dad, Daniel Allen, traded in his beloved 1969 Mustang Mach 1 for a more suitable family car. As the youngest of six, Shane decided he wanted to pay his dad back and secretly tracked down the exact model his father had. While out together, they just happened to walk past the car. Daniel had no idea what was about to come next. “My dad and I have talked about this car since I was a kid,” Shane told People.   @ohdeeznutz ♬ original sound – Shane Allen It Was a Full-Circle Moment for Daniel Allen Shane told People his dad helped him develop a love of classic cars. He became a Mustang Man himself but always kept an eye out for his dad’s dream, just in case. He found it not long before Father’s Day and knew what he had to do. Shane traded his own Mustang and then raced against the clock to make some improvements before the big reveal. He posted the moment on TikTok, where it quickly went viral. “I shut the camera off but wish I had continued filming,” Shane told People. “When he got out of the car, he asked me how [I had made it happen]. I told him I traded my custom GT for this Mach 1, and he broke down and hugged me.” Seeing Daniel Hill’s moment of joy touched the hearts of millions on TikTok. As this person so sweetly wrote, “Humanity, being restored … by one act of kindness at a time.” It was a happy Father’s Day indeed. This story’s featured image can be found here