It was 10:30 at night at a BP station in Currambine, a suburb north of Perth, Australia. Monty Van Der Berg, 34, was waiting in line to fill up his tank when he noticed something about the car ahead of him. The driver had put in $7 worth of fuel and pulled away. That small detail stuck with him. He knew what $7 of gas means. When the next car pulled up beside him, he leaned over. “I hope you’re filling up,” he said, “because I’m going to pay for it.” Then he walked to the kiosk and kept going, paying for car after car until he’d spent around $340, as People reported on April 9. View this post on Instagram One woman pumping gas broke down crying. She’d just finished a brutal shift at work and was running on empty in every sense. The gesture hit her somewhere she wasn’t expecting. Another woman named Gerville gave an interview to 7NEWS afterward, still visibly moved. She works three jobs as a single mother. Someone quietly paying for her fuel at 10:30 on a Monday night was not something she had any framework for. “It was so nice to see other people light up,” Van Der Berg said afterward. “It was such a nice moment.” Woman smiles at the gas station pump. Photo credit: Canva Van Der Berg owns a construction business now, but it wasn’t always that way. He said there were years when he was living paycheck to paycheck and a full tank wasn’t always possible. He knows what it feels like to pull up to a pump and do the math in your head. So now that he’s doing well, he has a rule: every time he fills up, he pays for at least one other person. He was clear that the $340 night wasn’t about the money or the attention. “That’s my one thing every time I fill up,” he said simply. He didn’t want praise for it. He just remembered what it was like, and he’s in a position to help, so he does. Gerville said she hopes to run into him again someday. She wants to pay him back. This random act of kindness at the pump reminds us of this viral classic from almost a decade ago: The post He saw a driver put in $7 of gas and felt something click. By the time he left, several strangers were in tears. appeared first on Upworthy.

When Canadian TV host Chris Van Vliet (@CVVClips) told Dwayne Johnson he was about to become a father for the first time and asked for advice, Johnson didn’t hesitate. He gave him a hug, told him his instincts were right, and then got specific. “Take your shirt off,” Johnson said. “I need you to go skin to skin.” Johnson explained that holding a newborn skin-to-skin right out of the womb builds what he described as an energetic and emotional anchor between parent and child. He’s not just talking theoretically. When his daughter Tiana was born in April 2018, he posted a photo to Instagram of himself cradling her against his bare chest, shirtless in the hospital, with a caption about how being her dad was the role he was most proud of. Days later, her mother Lauren Hashian shared her own photo doing the same. The practice Johnson is describing has a clinical name: kangaroo care. According to the Cleveland Clinic, skin-to-skin contact involves holding a newborn against a bare chest and has well-documented benefits for both the baby and the parent. For the baby, it helps regulate body temperature, stabilizes heart rate and breathing, supports early breastfeeding, and reduces stress. For the parent, it triggers hormonal responses that promote bonding and can reduce postpartum anxiety. The research backing it is extensive and the recommendation applies to both mothers and fathers. View this post on Instagram What Johnson is doing is essentially making the case for something pediatricians have been saying for years but that new dads don’t always hear directed specifically at them. Most kangaroo care conversations are aimed at mothers. Johnson’s version of the advice is pointed squarely at fathers, delivered by someone whose public identity is built on being the biggest, toughest person in the room — which probably makes it land differently. View this post on Instagram Van Vliet, for his part, went on to have a daughter. He hasn’t said whether he followed the advice. But the comment section on the video is full of fathers who either did and are glad they did, or didn’t and wish they had. “I got a bit teary-eyed during that,” one wrote. “I regret not doing the skin-to-skin with my son.” The post Why Dwayne Johnson’s advice for new dads comes down to one simple thing: take off your shirt appeared first on Upworthy.

Beth Lunn was doing what hairstylists do: examining a client’s hair, moving pieces up and checking the texture and color. Then she stopped. She picked up another section. Looked closer. And then, without any prior conversation about it, asked her client, “Are you pregnant?” The video she’d been recording for her Instagram page, @honeylunnhair, cut off there. The client, later identified as Chanelle Adams, laughed nervously and kept asking, “What? Why?” Lunn asked again. Adams repeated, “Why?” A few rounds of that, and then Adams looked straight at the camera and said, “Not in the video,” before Lunn ended the recording. Within three days, the clip had reached 126 million views and 5 million likes, with one question dominating every comment section: how on earth did she know? View this post on Instagram The answer, it turns out, is rooted in real biology. Lunn followed up with a second video after being flooded with questions, sharing photos of a client who was five months postpartum and walking through the science. As she explained it, “hormonal change causes an increase in estrogen and progesterone, which can alter the hair’s pigment (melanin).” She was careful to note that results vary from person to person, and that there is no “scientific evidence” that coloring one’s hair while pregnant causes harm to the baby, though she leaves that decision to her clients. The hormonal explanation holds up. According to experts at BehindTheChair.com, elevated estrogen and progesterone during pregnancy can prolong hair growth cycles, change density, and shift the way hair looks and feels entirely. Texture, color, and even how it takes dye can all change. View this post on Instagram On the question of coloring specifically, the NHS notes that most research shows it’s safe to dye or color your hair while pregnant. The chemicals in permanent and semi-permanent dyes could cause harm, but only in very high doses, and the amount absorbed through the scalp during a normal appointment is very low. Still, many people choose to wait until after the first 12 weeks, when the risk is lower. Worth knowing: if you’re in your second or third trimester, your hair may react differently to color than it normally would. Commenters who watched the original video had their own theories about exactly what Lunn saw. @nicole.marie44 wrote, “Your hair tells you so much about your health! She probably saw banding in her hair, and that is common with pregnancy.” @asmaiel_soulvane put it simply: “If she could tell someone is pregnant from their hair. She’s worth the money hands down.” Lunn hasn’t revealed exactly what visual cue tipped her off, which probably explains why people keep watching. You can follow Beth Lunn (@honeylunnhair) on Instagram for more entertaining and hair-related content. The post A stylist noticed a subtle change in client’s hair and immediately asked if she was pregnant appeared first on Upworthy.

At some point, most parents have to field questions, concerns, worries, anxieties, and, sometimes, outright despair from their kids about their relationships with other kids. Friendships can be messy. Bullying is a thing. When you pool together a couple of dozen kids who are growing, changing, and figuring out their emotions for most of the day, all manner of relational dynamics can emerge. Navigating the social landscape with our kids isn’t easy. Each child is unique, some are more sensitive or aware of what’s happening than others, and some need assistance with figuring out how to handle tough social situations. As parents, we don’t want to swoop in and solve their problems, but we also don’t want to leave them rudderless in a storm. We want to provide them with the tools and help them build the skills they’ll need to steer their own ship. A mom’s idea that went viral for good reason One tool that can help a kid who is struggling to connect with their peers is intentional kindness. However, a blanket admonition to “be kind” is often too vague to help a kid in the midst of a social crisis. That’s why one parent’s “kind can” idea has gone viral. It offers a specific way to practice kindness in a way that’s not overwhelming. In a 2022 post on LinkedIn, mom Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos shared the idea, writing:“‘Mom, I hate them.’‘Them’ being her friends at school.This is what my 7-year-old confided to me as I was putting her to bed the other night.I could have made light of her hatred, like I’ve done when she tells me she hates broccoli.I could have gotten caught up in her anger: ‘Who are these kids upsetting my daughter!?’Instead, I asked her what was going on that her heart hurt so much.Because under anger is usually hurt.”   Finding the right balance can be tough. Image via Canva “Sure enough, the tears came pouring out as she told me about how her best friend only wanted to play with another girl, and how when she went to find others to play with they told her to go away.This had been happening all week.‘Why doesn’t anybody like me?’I didn’t have an answer for that, but I did have a thought: It’s time for the Kind Can.Suddenly I was 8 years old again, a grade 3 student who was having a rough start to the school year.I had a teacher I didn’t like, friendships had shifted, and I couldn’t seem to get along with anyone. I hated going to school.My mom created a Kind Can.She used a big Nescafe tin can (remember those?)In the can went the names of every single one of my classmates. Each morning before school Iwould pull a name out of the can. That day I had to go out of my way to do something kind for them.Not to have them do something in return.For no other reason than to do something kind.It wasn’t easy at first, but my mom encouraged me to keep trying, and helped me think of all the different ways I could show kindness to others.It started to get really fun!And then things shifted.No longer caught up in my own mind about what others were ‘doing to me’, I was now focused on what I was doing for others.Though there were no expectations of kindness in return, more and more kindness is what I got. I loved going to school!I told my daughter about the Kind Can and her eyes got that little spark — the one that tells me she’s about to get creative.So yes, she has big plans for just how fancy this can will be– much better than an old tin can she proclaimed! That’s our project.A Kind Can.A way to create more kindness.A way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close.” Why this simple idea still resonates People loved the “kind can” idea, with the post being shared more than 3,000 times. Some people pointed out the beauty of the wisdom in it being passed down through generations. Several parents wished that they had seen the idea when their own kids were going through some social struggles. Many commenters said that a lot of adults could use a kind can as well. With bullying becoming more widespread thanks to the Internet and social media, many parents are aware of the importance of instilling kindness in their children. On social media, parents are making a point to highlight moments of kindness from their own kids or from another kid to theirs, and the videos are warming hearts and reminding viewers that the kids really are all right, and will continue to be so long as we continue to model kindness like Nieukerk-Chomos. A “kind can” won’t solve every friendship woe a child has, but goodness knows the world could use more kindness. Helping kids practice that virtue with a tool that makes it specific and fun is definitely a win-win. This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated. The post Mom shares ‘kind can’ idea after 7-year-old expresses struggles with friends at school appeared first on Upworthy.

Navigating ways to address anxiety can be one of the most beneficial lessons a person can learn. Sometimes we can “trick” the very neurochemicals that send signals throughout the synapses of our brains. In doing so, we might (at least at times) help calm ourselves down when we detect danger. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Z100NewYork (@z100newyork) A clip of Dan Harris, the 10% Happier podcast host who is often deemed an expert on happiness, has been making the rounds where he gives a “three-step reset” for anxious feelings. During his appearance on radio host/podcaster Elvis Duran’s show, Harris shares what one can do when they begin to spiral. First, recognizing that the spiral is happening in the first place is essential. “Notice this is happening,” Harris says. “I’m in a moment of anxiety.” Hand on heart The second step might be rather surprising to some, especially since it’s steeped in science. “Step number two, and this is where it gets a little cheesy, is… hand on the chest. You can put your hand on your heart. You can hug yourself. A lot of data show this triggers the parasympathetic nervous system. In other words, the aspects of your nervous system that are activated when you’re resting. So it just relaxes you.” Talk to yourself like you would a friend And third is self-love, in the same way you would love a dear friend. “Say to yourself what you would say to a good friend. Using your own name. I’ll say to myself, usually, ‘Dude. I know you’re worried about losing everything and living in a flop house. But that’s irrational. You’re totally fine. And even if it did happen, you’d still have your wife and son. And all of your friends. And your purpose on earth to help other people. You’re good.’” Harris adds context. “Moments like that, if you’re in the car or on the way to a terrible job, or you’re leaving a domestic situation… that stinks. Again, I can’t fix all of that for you. But I can help you navigate regulating your nervous system. Deep breaths, as mentioned, and talking to yourself in a supportive way. Especially if you’re alone and there’s nobody to share your problems with. You can be your own support system.” He adds, of note, that simply because these tools can be helpful, doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t reach out for external assistance. “Doesn’t mean you don’t need other people—you do. But you have a lot within your own mind and heart right now that can help you.” Three step reset On Duran’s Instagram page (and posted elsewhere, as well), the three reset steps are written clearly in the comments: “1: Notice you’re spiraling and call it out. ⁣2: Put your hand on your heart (yes really!)—science shows this calms you.⁣3: Talk to yourself like you would your friend, using your own name.” Cortisol reduction Upworthy spoke with Dr. Anna Elton (LMFT), who relayed how helpful heart-touching can be in times that are perceived to be stressful. “Research shows that even simple self-touch can reduce cortisol and buffer stress responses by signaling safety to the nervous system. It increases body awareness, helping you feel more in touch with your body and more connected to yourself, while shifting attention away from anxious thought loops.” Ancient practices Therapist Caitlin Blair helped explain to Upworthy further how it works. “Any practice where you are bringing awareness into your body, such as placing a hand on the heart, can help bring you out of a thought spiral and feel more grounded. Many ancient practices such as yoga have used the hand over heart to feel connected to their bodies and spirits.” It’s not just the heart, she adds. “Other similar practices may include adding a hand on your abdomen or belly, where a lot of folks hold their stress, or focusing on their breathing. Anyone who considers themselves an over-thinker or compartmentalizer can really benefit from these body-based practices to reduce stress.” The post Happiness expert shares the ‘real science’ in placing a hand over your heart to lower anxiety appeared first on Upworthy.