Welcome back to The Spark, our monthly celebration of how people just like you are creating positive change, one meaningful step at a time. The Spark is generously supported by Laura Rice. Sign up to Reasons to be Cheerful’s weekly newsletter here and you’ll get The Spark in your inbox at the start of each month. In this issue Crowdsourced babysitting for busy parents A club scene for night owls who need to wake up early Baby showers for all! How babysitting co-ops build a village When Stef Arck-Baynes first moved her young family to Mt. Airy in northwestern Philadelphia, a friend suggested she join the local babysitting co-op. “We’re older parents, and we were new to the area,” remembers Arck-Baynes. “We thought this would be a great way to build our community, to build our daughter’s community with like-minded people.”  The Mt. Airy Babysitting Co-op is a beloved local institution that has been running since 1974. The premise is simple: Families in the co-op provide each other with free childcare. A point system — once tracked in a pen-and-paper ledger, now in Google Sheets — ensures that everyone contributes their fair share. Every half an hour is worth one point, with extra points for things like looking after multiple children or sitting after midnight, explains Arck-Baynes, who now serves as the co-op’s membership chair. “If you do a sleepover, points are raining down on you!”  With rising living costs and a growing childcare crisis, communal arrangements like this can be a lifeline for parents living far from extended family or still looking to build their “village.” It goes beyond saving money, says Arck-Baynes. Knowing that the evening’s babysitter is a fellow parent can make for a more trusting relationship. “I can actually go out and enjoy myself and not be like, ‘Oh, I have to call the babysitter and see how things are going.'” Members of the Mt. Airy babysitting co-op. Photo courtesy of the Mt. Airy babysitting co-op Communal childcare often also comes with a built-in playdate for the kids, making everyone’s life easier. “Babysitting helps me keep my sanity sometimes,” says Arck-Baynes, who often parents her six-year-old alone on weekends due to her husband’s work schedule. “I know that if it’s just the two of us, she’s going to be like, ‘So what are we doing and where are we going? And do you want to do handstands with me?'”  Instead, the two babysit younger children, whom her daughter loves to take care of. “Zoe has become one of their favorite people, and she loves them,” says Arck-Baynes. This way, children and their parents also get to connect across age groups in a way that often doesn’t happen organically.  There are currently 17 families in the co-op, which covers the neighborhoods of Mt. Airy, Chestnut Hill, Wyndmoor and Germantown, with three more in the process of joining. While the cap is at 30 and the co-op used to have a lengthy wait list, numbers dwindled during the pandemic and have yet to recover, says Arck-Baynes. Weighed down by negative news? Our smart, bright, weekly newsletter is the uplift you’ve been looking for. [contact-form-7] The logistics can seem overwhelming at first — there’s a vetting and voting process for new families, 16 pages of bylaws and a rotating secretarial role for coordinating sits and recording points. But it becomes second nature once you get a handle on it, says Arck-Baynes. “We’re constantly talking about how to make the process easier.” Babysitting co-ops come in many different forms, so it’s worth asking around and seeing what kind of structure might work best. “Starting it with a good crew of people is important, too,” says Arck-Baynes. “People who are really committed to it, because it’s a lot of work to get it started.”  But the work you put in pays off, she says. “The community has been really beautiful. It has added so much to our social circle, so much to our daughter’s social and emotional growth. It’s helped me immensely in raising an only child.” Find a babysitting co-op near you here. Where moms can dance the early evening away In 2022, two moms from Wuppertal, Germany, got sick of spending their evenings at home. They wanted to go out like in the good old days, but local clubs didn’t get going until late at night, and toddlers famously don’t have empathy for tired or hungover parents. So they threw their own party, and three years later Mama geht tanzen (Mom’s going dancing) events have spread across cities in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, France and the Netherlands. Their “After-Care Parties” start at 8 p.m. and wrap up by 11, so moms can go clubbing without sacrificing their sleep (or their nerves) the next day. It’s an idea that’s been picking up steam ever since DJ Nikki Beatnik launched Mums that Rave in the U.K. after the birth of her child in 2019, with similar events organized by the Diva club in Paris and the Early Birds Club in cities across the U.S. Celebrating new life at community baby showers Pacifiers, bottles, wipes, onesies, diapers — the list of baby paraphernalia can feel overwhelming to expecting parents, especially if they lack the support and resources to ease the transition into parenthood. Wait, you're not a member yet? Join the Reasons to be Cheerful community by supporting our nonprofit publication and giving what you can. Join Cancel anytime Community baby showers, often organized by local grassroots organizations, city councils, or maternity clinics, can help on all of those counts. Combining a fun day out with community outreach and education, such events connect expecting mothers, distribute donated baby supplies, and provide information about benefits and resources for pregnancy, birth and postpartum. To plan your own community shower, experts recommend considering the needs of your target community and your goals, connecting with local partners and sponsors, and planning fun activities like vision boarding, prenatal yoga, or baby trivia. The post The Spark: How to Make Parenting Fun Again appeared first on Reasons to be Cheerful.

Disney movies have been a part of the American childhood since the studio released its first feature-length animated film in 1937, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Ever since, Disney films have been known for their catchy, clever songs. On Reddit, logophiles and Disney fans shared advanced vocabulary words they first learned after hearing them in Disney songs. “Wow we used to be UTTERLY SPOILED with the level of internal rhyme and skillful poetics that went into kid’s songs,” one person wrote. These are 14 vocabulary words people learned as kids from Disney songs that have stuck with them to this day: Genuflect Definition: “To bend the knee; to touch the knee to the floor or ground especially in worship; to be humbly obedient or respectful.”Movie: AladdinSong: “Prince Ali”Lyrics: “Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali AbabwaGenuflect, show some respectDown on one knee” Meticulous Definition: “Very careful about doing something in an extremely accurate and exact way; showing or requiring extreme care and attention to detail.”Movie: Lion KingSong: “Be Prepared”Lyrics: “So prepare for the coup of the centuryBe prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)Meticulous planning (We’ll have food!)Tenacity spanning (Lots of food!)Decades of denial (We repeat!)” Mediocrity Definition: “Mediocre, of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance; ordinary, so-so.”Movie: The Sword in the StoneSong: “That’s What Makes the World Go Round”Lyrics: “You must set your sights upon the heightsDon’t be a mediocrityDon’t just wait and trust to fateAnd say, that’s how it’s meant to be” Expectorating Definition: “To eject from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting.”Movie: Beauty and the BeastSong: “Gaston”Lyrics: “No one hits like GastonMatches wits like GastonIn a spitting match, nobody spits like GastonI’m especially good at expectoratingTen points for Gaston!” Prattle Definition: “Trifling or empty talk; a sound that is meaningless, repetitive, and suggestive of the chatter of children.”Movie: The Little MermaidSong: “Poor Unfortunate Souls”Lyrics: “The men up there don’t like a lot of blabberThey think a girl who gossips is a boreYes, on land it’s much preferredFor ladies not to say a wordAnd after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?” Dote Definition: “To be lavish or excessive in one’s attention, fondness, or affection —usually used with on.”Movie: The Little MermaidSong: “Poor Unfortunate Souls”Lyrics: “Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversationTrue gentlemen avoid it when they canBut they dote and swoon and fawnOn a lady who’s withdrawnIt’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man” Cabaret Definition: “A restaurant serving liquor and providing entertainment (as by singers or dancers).”Movie: Beauty and the BeastSong: “Be Our Guest”Lyrics: “We’ll prepare and serve with flairA culinary cabaretYou’re aloneAnd you’re scaredBut the banquet’s all prepared” Pachyderms Definition: “Any of various nonruminant mammals (such as an elephant, a rhinoceros, or a hippopotamus) of a former group (Pachydermata) that have hooves or nails resembling hooves and usually thick skin.”Movie: DumboSong: “Pink Elephants on Parade”Lyrics: “I can stand the sight of wormsAnd look at microscopic germsBut technicolor pachydermsIs really too much for me” Coup Definition: “A sudden decisive exercise of force in politics and especially the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group.”Movie: The Lion KingSong: “Be Prepared”Lyrics: “You won’t get a sniff without me!So prepare for the coup of the centuryBe prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)” Qualm Definition: “A feeling of uneasiness about a point especially of conscience or propriety; a sudden feeling of usually disturbing emotion (such as doubt or fear).”Movie: The Hunchback of Notre DameSong: “The Bells of Notre Dame”Lyrics: “You can lie to yourself and your minionsYou can claim that you haven’t a qualmBut you never can run fromNor hide what you’ve done from the eyesThe very eyes of Notre Dame” Reprimand Definition: “A severe or formal reproof; criticism for a fault; rebuke.”Movie: The Little MermaidSong: “Part of Your World”Lyrics: “Bet’cha on land they understandBet they don’t reprimand their daughtersBright young women, sick of swimmin’Ready to stand” Precocious Definition: “Exhibiting mature qualities at an unusually early age; exceptionally early in development or occurrence.”Movie: Mary Poppins Song: “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”Lyrics: “It’s supercalifragilisticexpialidociousEven though the sound of it is something quite atrociousIf you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precociousSupercalifragilisticexpialidocious” Nabob Definition: “A provincial governor of the Mogul empire in India; a person of great wealth or prominence.”Movie: AladdinSong: “Friend Like Me”Lyrics: “Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or threeI’m on the job, you big nabob“ Nom de plume Definition: “A name that a writer uses instead of their legal name; pseudonym; pen name.”Movie: AladdinSong: “One Jump Ahead”Lyrics: “One jump ahead of the slowpokesOne skip ahead of my doomNext time gonna use a nom de plume“ The post People share 14 words they first learned through Disney songs that expanded their vocabularies appeared first on Upworthy.

We’ve all been guilty of procrastinating before, but some people tend to do it far more than others. Research indicates that about 20% of adults can be considered “chronic procrastinators,” and it’s an extremely tough mental loop to break. Not only does procrastinating lead to worse outcomes at school, work, or in creative projects, it can also be highly damaging to a person’s psyche. Regular procrastination fuels intense feelings of shame, guilt, and even major depression. Luckily, there are all kinds of tricks, hacks, and mental games people can use to help defeat procrastination. However, many of them are Band-Aids at best and don’t address the fear, anxiety, stress, and overwhelm that are often at the root of so-called laziness and task avoidance. View this post on Instagram A “cure” for procrastination? One recent study wanted to test a potential “cure” for procrastination: self-forgiveness. A team of researchers from Carleton University set out to determine whether there was a link between “forgiving the self for a specific instance of procrastination and procrastination on that same task in the future.” In other words, does mentally beating yourself up after feeling lazy help you do better next time, or is it more effective to give yourself grace? The method was simple. Researchers recruited 119 first-year university students enrolled in an introductory psychology course, knowing, of course, that students are exceptional candidates for studying procrastination. It’s easy to find students who are behind on their studies. Photo credit: Canva Students were polled after an exam in the class on a variety of self-reported factors, including whether they procrastinated studying and how they felt about their overall performance. They were polled again after a second exam. In the end, the results revealed that students who reported high levels of self-forgiveness for procrastinating on their studying for the first exam were less likely to repeat the same mistake on the second exam. “Negative affect” The team determined that a big reason self-forgiveness was important is that it reduced something called “negative affect,” a psychology term that refers to a bundle of unpleasurable feelings like anxiety, anger, sadness, and guilt. What mattered in whether a person would stop procrastinating in the future was that they rid themselves of those negative feelings. Forgiving themselves for procrastinating the first time helped immensely. We’ve learned a lot about procrastination in recent years. What was once considered laziness is now better understood as a diabolical cocktail of overwhelm, anxiety, fear, and even childhood trauma. That’s why so much advice about procrastination is outdated. Marla Cummins, a productivity coach, writes that using force or authoritarian self-talk like “I have to get this done” used to be commonplace but simply doesn’t work. A research review from 2023 found that self-compassion is far more effective than self-criticism at motivating positive change, further reinforcing the findings from the Carleton University study. Methods that ease those negative feelings and break the cycle of negative self-talk are key to stopping procrastination, or at least doing it less often, in the future. As a human, you are almost guaranteed to procrastinate on something important in your life sometime in the near future. The key to not letting it become a chronic problem may be to forgive yourself for the slip-up and refuse to carry those negative feelings of shame and guilt into your next opportunity. The post Scientists discover one step you can’t skip if you want to stop procrastinating: forgiveness appeared first on Upworthy.

Many parents are taught or conditioned to fear their children’s teenage years. It’s the season of life when your sweet angel turns into a moody rebel with an attitude problem, or so say the parents who came before us and lived to tell the tale. Mom Jacqueline Skirvin was no different. For years, she had taken pride in having a close, loving, healthy relationship with her daughter, Preslea. But other parents in her orbit kept warning her that would all change. “Just wait,” they would say. In a recent Instagram post, Skirvin shared the hard-fought results of all that waiting. She revealed five things that truly surprised her when those teenage years finally came: “I waited for attitude. Instead, I get car rides where she tells me everything.” “I waited for walls. Instead, I get to know her best friend’s life almost as well as I know hers.” “I waited for distance. Instead, I’m the first person she facetimes when something really good happens.” “I waited for rebellion. Instead, I get to watch her fall too hard, too fast… and hold her when it doesn’t last.” “I waited for drama. Instead, I became the call when the group chat turns mean and she needs to feel safe.” “It’s not perfect,” Skirvin admits in the caption of her post, but those bright slivers of connection let her know she still has a good relationship with her daughter through all the ups and downs. View this post on Instagram The post struck a huge chord with fellow parents of teenagers Some found hope in Skirvin’s optimistic message, while others lamented that they hadn’t been so lucky in their own families. In the end, the discussion was full of terrific advice. Several commenters were thrilled to help bust the myth that parenting a teenager inherently has to be a nightmare: “My DREAM. My daughter is so cool I can’t wait to know her at every stage of her life.” “Teenagers aren’t hard to love at all, if you give them the foundations they need to fly. They’re actually very cool people” Others were convinced that dreading teenagehood has become a self-fulfilling prophecy: “We need MOREEEE of this energy for us girl moms!!! I have two daughters who are toddlers right now, and I am constantly told how horrible they will be as teenagers. It’s makes me so sad.” Some cautioned that, yes, being the parent of a teenager can be beautiful, but we shouldn’t gloss over the hard parts: “My eldest is 15 and youngest 13. I [get] this too BUT im also the one who gets the sharp edge of her tongue initially when shes overwhelmed and cant manage her emotions, I get the look before I get the hugs and details… I get both sides whilst she figures out her head and her heart. on balance im honoured to be trusted with both sides, the good, the bad and the ugly as I am the safety net where love without boundaries exist” Raising a teenager has its ups and downs. Photo credit: Canva To the parents in the comments struggling through a difficult relationship with their teens, the overwhelming response was, poetically, “Just wait.” “She will come around. She will have to grow up first but in time. It is so hard.” “I’m 32 and a mom of 2 and I have never been closer to my Mom. There is still time” Experts admit that living with teenagers can be a humongous challenge But they say a few things that can help are drawing strong boundaries about how you’ll be treated (not tolerating disrespect, insults, etc.) and giving your child plenty of space to work through their complex emotional responses and develop their own identity, which often involves at least a small amount of healthy rebellion. The key to Skirvin’s story is not that she forced connection and closeness with her teenage daughter, but rather that she stayed present enough to capture those opportunities when they presented themselves at unexpected times. For Skirvin, “waiting” for the teenage years to come was extremely good practice that served her well for the challenge ahead. The post Mom braced herself for daughter’s teenage years, but wasn’t ready for these 5 beautiful moments appeared first on Upworthy.

Are you ever in social situations where the conversation drags and you’re not sure what to do about it? Is it that the other person isn’t engaging, or is it that you’re not interesting? Social anxiety might have you questioning everything in these moments, but what if there were skills you could learn to make conversations more fun for everyone involved, including you? Charisma on Command shared a video on YouTube outlining five mistakes people make in conversations that make them seem boring, and five things to do instead that make them more fun to talk to. The video offers specific examples from celebrity interviews for each of these mistakes and fixes, but here’s the gist: Mistake #1: Energy ducking “Energy ducking is when you come into a conversation with low enthusiasm to avoid standing out,” the video states. “The problem is when you make your main focus not standing out, you avoid making a negative or positive impression.” In other words, you’re bringing nothing fun to the conversation, and most people want to have fun when they talk to others. Be the first to add playfulness to the conversation. Photo credit: Canva Trick #1: Be playful It’s not like you need a super interesting life or amazing stories to make a conversation engaging. You just need to bring a sense of playfulness to it. “By far the easiest way to initiate playfulness in your life is after you’ve been asked a question,” the video says. “To do so, just answer with an absurd, non-literal answer.” That doesn’t mean you won’t eventually answer the person’s question. “It’s just about setting a fun, playful tone first,” the video points out. “Another perk of being playful is it’s very likely that the other person will match you and be playful as well.” Mistake #2: Assuming interest If you’ve ever been in a conversation where someone talks on and on about something you have no interest in, you know the urge to escape. Don’t assume people will share your interests or enjoy your out-of-context stories. Create interest in a story before telling it. Photo credit: Canva Trick #2: Create interest with a “story gap” “A story gap is when you build interest in a story by hinting at how it ends without spoiling the punchline,” the video states. One example the video shares is when comedian Kevin Hart was asked about his relationship with basketball legend Michael Jordan. He responded, “I’ve run into Mike a couple of times. Mike still might be mad at me. True story.” Now we know something happened between Kevin and Mike that ticked Mike off, but we don’t know what. That piques our interest in hearing the story, because we know enough about the ending to want the details. Mistake #3: Giving bland, short answers “If you regularly find conversation stalls after you’ve been asked a question, you may be giving bland one- to five-word answers,” the video states. “A bland answer doesn’t set the other person up with anything to say back…short answers put the conversational pressure on the other person. Now they have to carry the conversation or else let it fall into awkward silence.” Expanding on simple answers makes for better conversation. Photo credit: Canva Trick #3: Share enough to make the conversation easy for the other person This doesn’t mean you should ramble on and on in your answers. Rather than answering in the briefest way possible, add a little detail. For example, let’s say someone asks where you’re from. You might say, “Chicago,” or even, “I grew up in Chicago.” But that doesn’t give much. You could instead say, “I grew up on the north side of Chicago in an area called Rogers Park. It was an interesting place, because Rogers Park is on the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum, but just north of it are very wealthy suburbs. That made it a pretty interesting place to grow up.” An answer like that gives the person a lot to respond to. Mistake #4: Asking the same boring, default questions Asking questions is a great way to engage in conversation, but not all questions are created equal. “Where are you from?” is fine, but most people have been asked that a million times. asking good questions is fun. answering good questions is fun. when both people are having fun, the conversation gets very good. we all enjoy being prompted. you can penetrate to someone’s deepest essence by asking attentive questions, by tugging loose threads they reveal to you.— Isabel (@isabelunraveled) December 15, 2024 Trick #4: Ask something that the other person will be excited to answer It takes more thought to come up with interesting questions, so watching people who are masters at it can help. Examples from the video come largely from Sean Evans, the host of Hot Ones. While his celebrity guests eat wings with increasingly spicy hot sauce, he asks questions about their lives and careers. “He specifically focuses on asking questions about his guests’ passions or that let them reflect on things they’re proud of,” the video points out. “He also avoids the questions they’ve likely been asked a hundred times in interviews before. And you can see the reactions it gets him.” A helpful tip for this trick, especially if you don’t know much about the person, is to ask hypothetical questions: “If you had to give away a million dollars tomorrow, who would you give it to?” or “If you had total power over the Internet, what’s the first thing you’d change about it?” Mistake #5: Being a passive listener Passive listeners listen but don’t react. That can make a conversation feel really boring, even when you aren’t saying anything. People want to feel that the other person is an active participant in the conversation, even when they’re not talking. Mirroring is one of my favorite nonverbal cues, it’s a great way to build instant connection. Try subtle mirrors to show warmth and understanding next time you’re in conversation! @MasterClass #MasterClass pic.twitter.com/eXHkEFFHzE— Vanessa Van Edwards (@vvanedwards) October 22, 2025 Trick #5: Mirroring and listening to laugh There are actually two tricks to fix the passive listening problem. One is to mirror the person speaking by reflecting their behavior or repeating something they said. For instance, if they’re nodding while telling a story, you can nod along. If they tell you they dropped their phone in a snowbank, you might respond, “In a snowbank? No!” Laughter can also be a great way to show interest and bring fun into a conversation. Get comfortable laughing when you genuinely find something funny. “It’s important to note here the goal is not to fake laugh,” the video states. “Instead, you want to cultivate the ability to laugh freely whenever you do find something funny, rather than censor your laughter like most people do, limiting it to a quick chuckle or even just an exhale.” Conversation skills come as second nature to some people while others have to consciously hone them. The good news is you don’t have to implement all of these tricks in every conversation. Try focusing on one or two that feel most doable for you and see if they help make conversing a more enjoyable experience. The post Worried you’re boring? 5 conversation tricks that can make you more fun to talk to. appeared first on Upworthy.