The narratives and stereotypes we see online don’t always match up with real life, and that’s especially true of today’s kids in Gen Z and Gen Alpha. It’s easy to label them as iPad kids, lazy, entitled, or whatever the insult du jour happens to be. Girls, perhaps, are the most misunderstood of all. That’s why the Girl Scouts released a major report based on a survey of 3,000 girls ages 5 to 13 from a wide range of racial backgrounds, income levels, and geographic regions. The findings paint a picture of what it’s really like to be a girl today—and what we’re all getting wrong about today’s girls. Here are three big myths about modern American girlhood that the landmark report shatters: 1. The ‘male loneliness epidemic’ is getting all the headlines. Girls are lonely, too. We tend to think of girls as more social and better at forming deep relationships. But surprisingly, 70% of the girls surveyed reported feeling lonely, including 64% of girls ages 7 and younger. That’s a striking statistic, considering children this age attend school and are surrounded by peers almost every day. Alana Officer of the World Health Organization told Education Week that there’s a difference between social isolation and loneliness. Adults who have limited contact with peers or only a small number of friends may experience social isolation. But loneliness is more of a “painful experience that arises from this disconnect or this discrepancy between the social connections that you do have and those that you want or you feel like you really need.” Officer says there may be an “unmet expectation” when it comes to the relationships girls do have. It’s a problem that’s likely been made worse by devices and social media, as well as the loss of community spaces, after-school programs, and other third places—places where girls could spend time with friends face-to-face. But there’s a bright side: Friends still matter. Gen Alpha might be labeled as “iPad kids,” but girls know exactly how important friendship is. More than half of those surveyed said they found the courage to try something new or difficult because a friend was by their side. 2. Girls don’t prefer to spend their time on screens and devices Screen time and social media use are among the biggest parenting concerns today. And the amount of time girls spend on these activities is on the rise. Most experts see that trend as problematic. But the survey shows we’ve got the symptom all wrong. Screenshot Girls would rather be doing lots of things besides messaging, scrolling through social media, and playing mindless games on an iPad. The survey finds: “The story that girls are choosing screens over everything else misses the point. They are choosing what is available, not always what they prefer. When girls are asked directly, they say something the dominant narrative tends to drown out: 65% of girls ages 5–13 would rather be creative than engage with screens, 59% would rather go outside and play, and 59% would rather spend time with family.” The findings indicate that a harsh, punitive approach to getting girls off screens is likely to miss the mark. Instead, they need more opportunities to do what they’re interested in—structured peer activities like Girl Scouts or sports, unstructured time outdoors, and adults modeling family time that doesn’t involve devices. 3. Girls aren’t preoccupied with their appearance Girls have a complicated relationship with their appearance. On the one hand, data shows that a preoccupation with appearance is starting earlier and earlier. Access to social media means that even very young children aren’t shielded from expectations about how they can—and “should”—look. The Girl Scouts survey backs this up. Girls as young as 5 reported receiving more attention and praise for the way they look than for their abilities, and many also reported having negative thoughts about their bodies. Three in five girls surveyed said feeling bad about their appearance affected their confidence at school. You can see it in tween and teen trends: makeup, fashion, and skincare. Looking their best is all the rage. Yet 96% of the girls surveyed said they like the way they look, even though about a third still wanted to change something about their appearance. Crucially, the Girl Scouts survey shows that appearance isn’t what really matters most to today’s girls. While they may feel pressure to look a certain way, they’d much rather be known for being smart, funny, or creative than for being “pretty.” Body image has plagued tweens and teens—especially girls—for generations. The solution is more complicated. But the survey responses strongly suggest that adults and parents need to be more mindful of the language we use around girls and when speaking to them. When we casually call little girls “beautiful” or speak negatively about our own bodies, they’re listening loud and clear. We can’t support the next generation if we don’t understand them, and media narratives and social media trends paint only part of the picture. Surveys like this one help us understand what kids are thinking, what they’re going through, and what they really need from the adults in their lives. “Girls are not asking for less challenge, they are asking for more advocates and support,” the report concludes. “More spaces where they can build confidence, skills, and a sense of belonging. More time to take risks and try new things without the pressure to do it perfectly.” The post A new survey of 3,000 girls just blew up 3 modern girlhood myths appeared first on Upworthy.