The divorce podcast has been taken down… but she has her reasons. Jelly Roll, whose real name is Jason DeFord, filed for divorce from his wife Bunnie Xo, whose real name is Alisa DeFord, back on May 18 in Williamson County Chancery Court, just outside of Nashville. And in the wake of the announcement, Bunnie released a tell-all episode of her Dumb Blonde podcast (which has since been removed from her Youtube page), where she revealed a lot of why they decided to split, addressed dating rumors and revealed that Jelly was already dating, and she also explained the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak, that led to the divorce papers being filed, which Jelly did after a huge fight they had on Mother’s Day. Over the weekend, Bunnie made tons of headlines after she was out at Jelly Roll’s own bar on Broadway in Nashville, Jelly Roll’s Goodnight Nashville, with a new man. TMZ shared video of her making out with 24-year-old Dylan Wolf (Bunnie is 46), who is apparently a star on the new Netflix reality show “Calabasas Confidential.” I think they use the word star pretty loosely, but whatever… She addressed that whole situation during the episode too, and she also talked in -detail about why she decided to take the divorce podcast down, which had a ton of detail about why she and Jelly decided to get divorced. She explained that she didn’t want one of the hardest moments of her life to “become a permanent headline,” and while it was all very raw and real, she wants to be able to fully move on: “We’re all gathered here today to hear about the divorce podcast, and you know, I really thought out what I was gonna say to you guys about this. We took it down because I realized, I just don’t want one of the hardest moments of my life to become a permanent headline. I don’t wanna live in that. I believe in being transparent with you guys, and that’s never, ever, ever going to change. But I also believe that people deserve the space to heal, to evolve and to move forward. That episode served a purpose for me at that time, and it was real, it was honest, and it came from exactly where I was emotionally in that moment. But I’m not in that same place anymore. and I think that that’s where we need to pause and just focus on the fact that like people are like, oh well, she moved on so fast. Hold up. I’ve been mourning the loss of my marriage for at least a year. I had visions of the news breaking, of it happening, and there is so much behind the scenes that I have not spoken on, and that I will never speak on because it doesn’t matter.” She says there’s still a lot that fans don’t know, and she went through hell, even becoming malnourished and having to take IVs because she wouldn’t eat or drink in the months leading up to the divorce decision. Bunnie explained that she does not like looking weak, and that was part of the decision to take it down, too: “I will only tell you guys my part in the demise of my marriage. When people see me out having fun, and just living my best life, I can see where they would be like, wow they just announced the divorce. But really you guys have to understand, I have been sitting in purgatory, purgatory, for 2 1/2 months in my studio house. Literally, there was times where I was on the floor screaming, crying because I could not understand what the f*** was going on. You guys had to call and get me IVs because I was gonna have to go to the hospital, because I was not eating, I was not drinking. I couldn’t even stand up, because I was so f****** devastated. You guys took turns watching me, not just because I wouldn’t eat, but because you guys were so scared for my mental health. None of you guys would leave me alone, always just make sure that somebody was there for me. That’s the s*** that you guys don’t see, because on the internet, I’m extremely vulnerable. But when it comes to seeing me be weak, this makes me wanna tear up, when it comes to seeing me be weak, I will never let you guys see that side of me. I think I cried one time on a vlog whenever J and I broke up in 2018. I promised myself that I would not do that. And like, yeah, I might have cried about my book, but those were happy tears. And in the divorce podcast, I was super vulnerable, and to be honest with you, I don’t like being that vulnerable. Because yes, it makes me human, but at the same time, I want women to know, you’re gonna f******* get through it. You’re gonna survive.” I think the aspect of not wallowing in it is important for anyone going through any tough time, and Bunnie also said she doesn’t want to be the “poster child for divorce” and doesn’t want this chapter to define her. And if you want to know how much she made on the episode in just a relatively short time… Bunnie says it’s north of $100,000: “But I also, if I’m being real, I don’t want the divorce to become my entire personality. I don’t want to be the poster child for divorce. I don’t want people DMing me saying, ‘I’m so sorry your husband left you.’ When you guys really don’t even know the whole story, you guys only know bits and pieces. There’s so much more to me than just one painful chapter in my life, and there’s so much more that I wanna talk about, and that I wanna create, and that I wanna laugh about, and that I wanna experience with you guys. I made $100,000 on that podcast. Yes, it was one of my highest viewed podcast episodes, but I don’t care about the money. If I cared about the money, I would’ve left it up and let it get another hundred grand if I cared about the views. I post on TikTok and get 10 million views. YouTube has never been my strong platform. You guys have had to watch me live my real life out in front of you guys, and I’ve tried to do it with as much pride and dignity as I can, while still maintaining the emotional aspect of it. But not teaching people to wallow in it. That’s where it gets scary, and that’s where you have to walk a fine line of like, what is it, girl get up. Like when do you get up and you’re just like, okay.” Lastly, Bunnie promised fans she would continue “growing out loud” and “healing out loud” with them, so this doesn’t mean she’s trying to hide anything or pretend this major life change isn’t happening: “I think people after divorce, they want you to lay down and die. It’s not a malicious thing of me taking the podcast down. Me pulling the episode wasn’t about hiding  anything or pretending it didn’t happen. It was just about choosing not to let one season of my life define every season that came after that. If you guys will allow me to grow, I’ll keep growing out loud, and healing out loud with you guys. You guys have to allow me that space to be able to grow.” Fair enough, even though all of the information is out there now and anyone could probably find any part of it if they just Googled it… but still, I get her point, and she went into a lot of detail later in the episode about what happened with Dylan over Fourth of July weekend, so I don’t think her not being transparent will ever be an issue. @xomgitsbunnie Moving on New Pod drops in 45 mins on YT: DumbBlondePod #bunniexo ♬ original sound – Bunnie Xo The full podcast is available below. The post “One Of The Hardest Moments Of My Life” — Bunnie Xo Reveals Why She Removed Podcast Detailing Divorce From Jelly Roll first appeared on Whiskey Riff.