It’s Christmas‚ a time of love and peace for everyone except columnists. So I’ve decided to lend Santa a hand and suggest some gifts that will fit their recipients like a glove. (READ MORE from Itxu Diaz: White House Anti-Christmas Video Has Side Effects) AOC: A long dress screen-printed with the slogan: “Tax the idiots.” Al Gore: A mini Lula da Silva action man whose nose grows when you pull his tongue. Ayanna Pressley: The self-help book It’s Easy to Quit Wokism If You Know How. Barack Obama: A decent script for his next movie. Benjamin Netanyahu: Patience to put up with progressives who use X (Twitter) to lecture him on how to defend against an attack from the safety of their couch. Bill Gates: One of his synthetic steaks with a side of fried crickets. Cardi B: More of her usual reading. I don’t know‚ the Summa Theologica‚ Heidegger’s Being and Time‚ or Aristotle’s Metaphysics. Elon Musk: Something that makes a lot of noise‚ flies a long way‚ and makes fireworks‚ like SpaceX or X (Twitter). Donald Trump: Chocolates in the shape of a progressive journalist. Georgia Meloni: A little more extreme for her right. Hunter Biden: Striped pajamas and a lime sandwich. Ismail Haniyeh: A colonoscopy without anesthesia. Javier Milei: A rock and roll band to play background music for his speeches. And popcorn for the audience. Justin Trudeau: An industrial garbage compactor to speed along his euthanasia plan for drug addicts after his genius decriminalization of hard drug possession. Joe Biden: A compass. Kamala Harris: A red “launch nukes” button to reduce population and save the planet. King Charles: A real apocalypse‚ with its trumpets and all the partying‚ so that he learns to tell it apart from what he calls a “climatic apocalypse.” Kim Jong-un: A Black+Decker Max Cordless Chainsaw‚ for cutting hair from the comfort of his home. Leonardo di Caprio: The equality for all that he so craves. When everything gets shared‚ I call dibs on his ex-Bar Refaeli‚ the Beverly Hills mansion‚ and the Porsche Cayenne. Manuel López Obrador: A good history book so that he can stop making it up. Nancy Pelosi: An eye mask with a picture of a bare torsoed Donald Trump. Miley Cyrus: The childhood that was stolen from her. Mitch Mcconnell: A passport to some island paradise (far away). Oprah Winfrey: The vice-presidency of the government. Whatever‚ we wouldn’t know the difference. She and Kamala Harris are the same person. Rihanna: A Shazam that detects stupid political ideas. Sanna Marín: A romantic dinner with no politics (and with me). Taylor Swift: Five minutes without an opinion on everything everywhere and at all times. Ursula von der Leyen: A little pony and a big wolf. Vladimir Putin: A taste of his own medicine. Xi Jinping: A decent counterrevolution. Merry Christmas to all but those who celebrate the winter solstice. To those‚ Happy Harvest and‚ I suppose‚ my best wishes for eternal salvation through the intervention of an ear of corn. Translated by Joel Dalmau. READ MORE: A Merry Socialist Christmas? The Paradoxical Christmas Nostalgia of Truman Capote The post A Guide for Santa Claus: Gifts for Politicians‚ Celebrities‚ and Other Animals appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.