babylonbee.com
'We Applaud Caesar For Doing The Right Thing And Stepping Down,' Says Senator Holding Bloody Knife
CURIA OF POMPEY, ROME — As details from the recent Senatorial scuffle continue to be investigated, official sources from the Senate say that Senator Gaius Cassius has come forward, bloody knife in hand, to affirm that the senators of the Roman Republic "applaud former Dictator Julius Caesar for his decision to do the right thing and step down."
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