BY THE OPTIMIST DAILY EDITORIAL TEAM It is easy to believe that improving your mental health is simply about adding self-care habits to your routine. While self-care is helpful and you should certainly carve out the time to incorporate it into your day-to-day, therapists say that sometimes, the most important thing you can do is break the habits that quietly wear you down. These behaviors often feel so ingrained that you may not even realize what they are, nor how much they are affecting you. Discover what the most common habits are that might be holding you back and what to do instead, according to mental health experts. Stop overthinking and start living in the present It is natural to reflect on the past or worry about the future, but when your thoughts become obsessive, they can rob you of the present moment. “Focusing on the past is connected to depression, and focusing on the future is connected to anxiety,” says Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT, a New York–based psychotherapist. Dwelling on what happened yesterday or stressing over what might happen tomorrow keeps you stuck in a loop of worry, which could adversely affect how you take action through the day. What to do instead: Try a technique called defusion to create psychological distance from nagging thoughts. Instead of saying, “My life is a mess,” reframe it as, “I am having the thought that my life is a mess,” suggests Elisabeth Morray, PhD. This small shift reminds you that thoughts are just thoughts—not unshakable realities. Stop using punishment as motivation Pushing yourself with negative consequences—such as telling yourself you won’t give yourself a bathroom break or take lunch until a task is finished—might seem like a form of discipline, but it actually works against you. “You are an adult with free will, and you do not need to put yourself in the corner,” says Lisette Sanchez, PhD, a licensed psychologist. Also, it’s important to consider how you reward yourself. Giving yourself treats as an incentive for getting things done can be good at times, but it is also a risky practice. Over time, it could reinforce the misconception that you only deserve to give yourself something nice once you’ve struggled through something difficult. What to do instead: Instead of punishing yourself, make tasks more enjoyable. Treat yourself to your favorite warm beverage while tackling your to-do list or listen to fun music while working. “You are allowed to enjoy the process,” Dr. Sanchez emphasizes. Stop comparing yourself to others Whether it is scrolling through social media or measuring your success against your peers, comparison rarely leads to anything good. “We constantly try to figure out, ‘Am I better?’ ‘Am I worse?'” says Dr. Morray. This tendency can leave you feeling inadequate or questioning your worth. What to do instead: Notice when you are falling into comparison mode and challenge it. Once you acknowledge the negative thoughts, Dr. Morray suggests stopping yourself from spiraling by asking yourself, “So what?” This simple question can remind you that these thoughts do not define your worth. If social media worsens the habit, take a break or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Stop being your own worst critic Negative self-talk can quickly spiral into self-sabotage. “Bullying yourself will lower your self-esteem and contribute to anxiety and depression,” says Shira Collings, LPC. It also has the undesired outcome of making it more likely that you will not do the work to pursue your goals. What to do instead: Recognize when you are engaging in self-criticism and label it. “You might say, ‘That is my inner critic talking,'” suggests Tracy Ross, LCSW. Another strategy is to imagine how you would speak to a friend in your situation—you likely would not be as harsh. Stop letting one bad moment ruin your entire day When something goes wrong in the morning, it is easy to feel as though the whole day is doomed. This mindset can lead to confirmation bias, where you subconsciously seek more evidence that supports your negative outlook. “You will start looking for all the ways the day is awful,” says Dr. Sanchez. What to do instead: Acknowledge the frustrating moment and then shift gears. Take ten minutes to do something uplifting, like texting a friend who makes you laugh or watching a funny video. “You are allowed to have a bad moment without it defining your entire day,” says Dr. Sanchez. Stop taking full responsibility for other people’s emotions It is one thing to be considerate of others, but it is another to feel like their happiness depends on you. “Whether someone else will be disappointed should not be the deciding factor in your choices,” says Ross. People-pleasing can leave you feeling drained and disconnected from your own needs. What to do instead: Reflect on what you truly want before making decisions. “You cannot control how others feel,” Ross says. “Your responsibility is to honor your own feelings and values.” Breaking these habits takes time, but the first step is awareness. Once you recognize these patterns, it’s much easier to follow through with small changes that add up to a healthier mindset. Remember, the goal is not perfection but progress—so be patient with yourself as you learn to step out of your own way and into a more peaceful state of mind.The post 6 habits to break for better mental health: what therapists want you to know first appeared on The Optimist Daily: Making Solutions the News.