PARIS – In a stunning rebuttal to years of baseless conspiracy theories questioning her gender, Brigitte Macron, France’s First Lady, has produced what she calls “irrefutable photographic evidence” of her womanhood: a series of grainy Polaroids showcasing a scraped hubcap from a minor parking mishap in central Paris. The images, which Macron proudly displayed at an impromptu press conference outside the Élysée Palace, have sent shockwaves through both the political and automotive worlds.

“For too long, I have endured the whispers, the memes, the absurd claims,” Macron declared, holding aloft a slightly blurry photo of a silver BMW 3 with a noticeably dented wheel. “But this—this!—is the proof the world has been waiting for. Only a woman could achieve damage like this from simply parking.”

The photographs, taken by an unnamed passerby who reportedly shouted “Mon Dieu, c’est parfait!” upon witnessing the incident, depict a hubcap with a series of superficial scratches, artfully arranged in what some are calling a “feminine flourish.” Macron explained that the mishap occurred while attempting to parallel park between a Vespa and a particularly aggressive baguette delivery van. “I knew I had to document this moment,” she said, “not just for myself, but for history.”

Conspiracy theorists, however, remain unconvinced. A viral X thread claimed the hubcap was “staged” by the French government, pointing to the suspiciously photogenic lighting in the images. “Any woman could have been trying to park and scraped the hubcap like this,” one user posted, alongside a diagram alleging the hubcap belonged to a stunt double’s car, hired to protect Macron’s reputation. “We need video of her turning left on a no-left-turn lane or stopping a highway in order to make an exit she missed in order to believe this is true.”

Undeterred, Macron has doubled down, announcing plans to auction the hubcap at Sotheby’s to raise funds for women’s driving schools across France. “Let this be a lesson,” she said, adjusting her scarf with a defiant flick. “A woman’s strength is not in avoiding the scrape, but in blaming it on the curb!”

As the world grapples with this bold new chapter in gender discourse, one thing is clear: Brigitte Macron’s hubcap has parked itself firmly in the annals of history. Whether it will silence the skeptics or merely spark a new wave of conspiracy theories remains to be seen. For now, the First Lady drives on, unscathed—except, perhaps, for her BMW’s resale value.

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