Two of the world’s most beloved brands have just announced a major technological breakthrough that is guaranteed to change the world forever: Dole and Speed Stick have teamed up to make a banana that you slowly crank up with a little wheel!

Absolutely amazing! This is going to completely change the way people eat bananas, and it’s about time!

The collaboration between the multinational fruit conglomerate and the iconic American deodorant company took over five years and $1.2 billion in research and development, and thanks to its success we can now enjoy bananas in the most convenient way imaginable: by turning a little wheel on the bottom nub of the fruit to push up a little bit of the banana, and then using the wheel to retract the rest of the banana back into the peel for later. It’s literally the simplest and most elegant banana humans have ever designed, and it’s kind of shocking that it’s taken our society this long to create such an intuitive system!

“For far too long, the only way to eat a banana has been to tear it open like a mindless ape, take two or three bites, and then throw the banana away because there’s no easy way to adjust the fruit’s height in relation to its peel,” Dole stated in a press release published earlier this morning. “That’s why we are thrilled to announce that thanks to some help from our brilliant colleagues at Speed Stick, we’ve been able to adapt their roll-on deodorant technology to bring bananas into the 21st century.”

This is so exciting! It might take society a few years to collectively learn to use the new banana technology that Dole and Speed Stick have developed for us, but there’s no denying that this is the kind of amazing innovation that is going to change society for the better and transform the act of eating bananas from a disgusting and humiliating farce to one of the coolest and most forward-thinking things you can possibly do. Kudos to Dole and Speed Stick for bringing out the best in each other and completely revolutionizing the way we eat bananas forever!