Joe Biden celebrates what is likely his final birthday after leaving office in disgrace

When Joe Biden, the worst living president of the United States, entered the world in 1942, there were still people alive who fought in the Civil War. Now he's celebrating his 83rd birthday. He is joined in celebration by his conniving wife, Dr. Jill Biden, his crackhead lothario son, Hunter Biden, his utterly disgraced former White House press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, and other deranged weirdos who view Biden's withdrawal from the 2024 campaign as a national tragedy.

If the Biden clan had gotten their way, we'd be less than halfway through the first half of President Biden's second term in office. He would be confined to his basement and getting treated for "aggressive" prostate cancer while the world burned and Dr. Jill carried out the duties of commander in chief. Biden's top campaign aide, Mike Donilon, would be $4 million richer thanks to a lucrative victory bonus that gave him a clear incentive to conceal the president's cognitive decline. Millions of hardworking Americans would be considerably poorer and lamenting what had become of their once great country.

It goes without saying that Biden was never going to win reelection. The vast majority of American voters were understandably reluctant to vote for a doddering geezer who would be 86 by the time he left office. Nevertheless, the Democratic Party persisted in backing the president despite his obvious brain dysfunction. They flip-flopped eventually, but only after Biden's debate performance made them all look irredeemably ridiculous. Still, he nearly weathered the storm. This was largely due to the fact that his only plausible replacement, Vice President Kamala Harris, was widely viewed as incompetent even though Democrats were too afraid of being called racist to say so publicly.

One could argue that by choosing Harris (for explicitly DEI-related reasons) and refusing to retire after one term, Biden almost singlehandedly ensured that Donald Trump would return the White House and restore America's prestige. Dr. Jill Biden played a key role in the country's revival as well. Her husband almost certainly lacked the mental capacity to consent to run for reelection (or have "good sex"), and her well-documented lust for power was a driving force within the White House. "She likes power. She wants to stay. She wants some sense of revenge," historian Douglas Brinkley said of the first lady in February 2024. Other Biden family members were just as eager to see the president retain power, given their remarkable inability to function in the real world without grifting off the family name.

Not that anyone cares, but this may very well be Biden's last birthday as a living resident on planet Earth. He will be remembered as a belligerent narcissist who wrecked the country and his family for personal gain. His selfish decision to run for president in 2020 pushed two of his children, both addicts, to relapse and spiral out of control. And yet the mainstream media kept praising Biden—who refused to acknowledge his own granddaughter for years—as a devoted "family man." Journalists were active participants in the administration's plot to conceal Biden's decline until June 2024, when it became clear that continuing to cover for him might help Trump win. Then they sold us books "exposing" the cover-up everyone else could see with their own eyes.

Alas, even the journalists despise Biden these days. Democratic donors aren't interested in funding his presidential library, and few organizations are willing to shell out six figures to hear Biden give a rambling speech past his bedtime. He recently received a lifetime achievement award from the Edward M. Kennedy Institute, a group dedicated to preserving the legacy of a bloated drunk who killed a woman with his car and made a "waitress sandwich" with former Sen. Chris Dodd (D., Conn.) while sexually assaulting his way across the nation's capital.

On a related note, it's worth remembering that Democrats and journalists canceled the #MeToo movement in 2020 when Biden was credibly accused of sexual assault after locking up the Democratic nomination. Meanwhile, his decision to hire the shamelessly incompetent Jean-Pierre as White House press secretary has caused many liberals to question their cult-like reverence for performative diversity. His birthday comes at a time when, thanks to his failed stewardship, the Democratic Party has openly embraced communism, anti-Semitism, and furrydom-inspired political violence. Biden's children and relatives will soon be forced to get real jobs once the family coffers run dry. Meanwhile, Hunter Biden is leading the charge to rehabilitate the family's image. He recently attacked a female journalist for being a "whore" and "ugly person" whose death will not be mourned.

Happy Birthday, Joe!