Tired of slow, boring boats that actually catch fish? Looking for something with real zip that can outrun literally anything in or on the water (Coast Guard, Navy, physics, whatever)? Boy do I have the deal for you!

2002 “Caribbean Queen” – 42ft custom go-fast boat

• Triple 500hp outboards (recently “refreshed” with whatever fuel you got)
• Top speed: Yes. Very yes.
• Cruising speed: Whatever speed makes helicopters give up
• Four (4) massive below-deck storage compartments – airtight, watertight, and big enough for all your… fish. Or whatever you catch out there. Totally fish.
• Zero fishing gear included because, uh, minimalism
• GPS? Sure, it has one. It says we’re in international waters. Always. Weird.
• No radio either – silence is golden when you’re minding your own business
• Freshly painted matte gray – blends in with the sea, the sky, and poor decisions

Extras:

• 12 hidden bilge compartments (perfect for ice… or whatever needs to stay cold)
• Reinforced hull took some “love taps” but still floats great
• Comes with 20 drums of racing fuel already aboard (don’t ask where the spare anchor went)

Boat is currently in a quiet Venezuelan marina that definitely exists. You must pick up in person – no brokers, no surveys, no VIN checks, no “where’s the registration,” no snitches. Cash preferred (USD, gold, crypto, or whatever’s in those duffle bags you’re carrying). Bring a big truck and a bigger sense of adventure.

Serious inquiries only. If you have to ask why it’s priced this low, you can’t afford it.

Text Captain Ron Dos Tres at the burner number taped under the dock cleat at Marina “Paradiso” (ask for Jesús, tell him “los pollos hermanos” sent you). First come, first served. Boat leaves with or without you at dusk tomorrow.

Not responsible for extradition treaties.

About Author