In yet another masterclass of selective outrage, former Secret Service agent and current podcast impresario Dan Bongino has once again demonstrated his impeccable sense of timing by pausing his long-running practice of ignoring credible allegations of elite satanic pedophile cannibal sex-trafficking rings to instead deliver a blistering, profanity-laced takedown of fellow conservative commentator Candace Owens.

The detour comes as no surprise to longtime observers of Bongino’s career arc. Just as he once managed—while serving in the FBI—to avoid any meaningful pursuit of the very deep-state child-eating cabals he now routinely warns are operating in plain sight, Bongino has once more found a higher-priority target: a grieving widow and the journalist asking uncomfortable questions about her late husband’s circle.

According to the host’s own extended on-air monologue, Owens’ decision to examine the background and associations of Erika Kirk—widow of the late Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk—constitutes an unforgivable breach of decorum. “This is the sickest thing I’ve seen in a long time,” Bongino declared, his voice reportedly cracking with righteous indignation. He then escalated to a string of creative expletives, inviting Owens and her supporters to experience “the little licks of the flames of hell” while assuring his audience that losing half of them over the issue would be “good riddance.”

Sources familiar with Bongino’s broadcasting rhythm note that this is merely the latest in a distinguished series of strategic pauses. During his FBI tenure, he famously refrained from investigating the very Luciferian elite networks he now describes as “eating the babies.” Upon entering conservative media, he maintained the same admirable consistency: plenty of fiery warnings about the monsters under the bed, conspicuously little follow-through on naming names, producing evidence, or otherwise inconveniencing anyone with real power.

“Dan’s always been laser-focused,” explained one longtime listener who asked to remain anonymous to preserve plausible deniability. “Focused on everything except actually going after the people he says are running adrenochrome farms in pizza basements. That kind of discipline is rare.”

Owens, for her part, has yet to issue a formal reply but is reportedly preparing a multi-part series exploring whether Bongino’s selective fury might indicate something deeper—perhaps a lingering loyalty to institutions that once employed him, or simply a preference for low-risk enemies.

Bongino has since returned to his regularly scheduled programming, reassuring fans that the brief excursion into widow-defense journalism was merely a necessary detour. “We’ll get back to the real fight soon,” he promised, before smoothly pivoting to a sponsor read for emergency food buckets and gold coins—products ideally suited for when the child-eating elites finally make their move.

Until then, the global network of satanic pedo cannibals remains comfortably unmolested, exactly as it has been throughout Bongino’s entire public life. Priorities remain intact.

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