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Tucker Carlson Goes On HILARIOUS “Rectal Use” Rant On Theo Von’s Show
This is one of the funniest things you’re going to see in a long time, but first I have to set it up for you so you understand what you’re about to see….
Tucker Carlson has always been big on Nicotine pouches, and while I would never encourage anyone to suddenly “pick up smoking”, there are some very solid scientific benefits that seem to be associated with Nicotine itself (without all the other garbage).
And for years, Tucker Carlson spoke very publicly about how he loved his Zyn Nicotine pouches, while never even being sponsored by the company — he just loved using them.
But then at one point the relationship soured as Tucker claims Zyn sent him a Cease and Desist letter for claiming the product could serve as a, ummm, “male enhancement”.
Others speculate Tucker approached Zyn for a sponsorship and they declined, although Tucker has never confirmed that, only stating they sent him a “humorless” Cease and Desist letter.
So after receiving countless dollars in free advertising from Tucker praising the product for years, Zyn shot the hand that feeds, and Tucker decided to launch his own competing company called Alp.
And in doing so, Tucker has hilariously started claiming (in what is clearly performance art satire) that he later discovered to his horror that almost all Zyn users had been using the product RECTALLY and Tucker figured in a country of 350 million people there should be a Nicotine pouch for your mouth so he created Alp.
Honestly, it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time….
At first, Theo is so stunned he doesn’t quite get what Tucker is doing, but then as Tucker keeps going, doubling down over and over, Theo gets it and joins in.
Enjoy:
Tucker: I found out that almost every other person using ZYN was using it rectally.
Theo: They were…?
Tucker: Most ZYN users use it rectally. And I didn’t know that.
Theo: WHAT?!
Tucker: In a country of 350,000,000 people, like, there should be a pouch for your mouth.… pic.twitter.com/pzBSCVXt7P
— Alp Pouch (@alppouch) December 10, 2025
The idea of “almost all Zyn users” using the product RECTALLY because it’s consist with other aspects of their lives is one of the funniest standalone lines I’ve heard in a long time.
Tucker’s commitment to the bit in spite of its complete ridiculousness until he won over Theo Von — and then continuing it far afterwards — makes it pure gold!
Backup video here if needed:
Anyway, totally made my day!
Also, because I’m such a big fan of Tucker (and of Alp), did you know I’m now partnered up with him?
How cool is that?
Check this out:
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I Am Now Partnered Up With Tucker Carlson! [From Noah]
Noah here, and I'm so excited to finally be able to announce my new partnership with Tucker Carlson!
You might have heard Tucker recently launched his own brand of Nicotine pouches called ALP, and after working through all the due diligence his team just fully approved me to be a licensed partner on the team!
GET ALP POUCHES HERE
And I'm so excited to tell you about them and about Nicotine, because the truth might actually surprise you...
We've all heard since we were little that smoking is bad for you and Nicotine is really bad for you, and certainly I am not encouraging anyone to go out and start smoking. It's disgusting and it is NOT good for you.
But Nicotine?
That's potentially a much different story.
I suppose this is a good time for me to give you my standard FDA disclosure:
There ya go suits!
Now the attorneys are happy, and I can go about my article...
Ok, so I'm not here to tell you that Nicotine can diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, but I do know a couple things.
One, the MSM seems to really hate Nicotine, almost as much as they hate eggs, red meat, sunlight and Vitamin D. All of those things are really bad for you and will certainly kill you they scream, but I've found the complete opposite in my life. All of those things increase my vitality and make me feel amazing.
Two, do you remember during COVID report after report saying Nicotine stopped the virus cold? I do. Like a secret weapon.
Three, RFK Jr. even recently said that recent studies have suggested Nicotine could the reduce the onset of Alzheimer’s and Dementia. How's that for incredible? That would be HHS Secretary RFK Jr. if you need him! More on that in a minute.
Four, Tucker's testimony about his own personal Nicotine use really got my attention and that's what I want to share with you now.
Look, I'm not trying to convince anyone to develop a Nicotine habit with this article, but I am saying that I think there's much more to Nicotine than meets the eye, that's number one, and number two if you already use Nicotine why not switch to ALP and support Tucker? BOOM!
Ok, now let's really dig in...
Let's start with RFK Jr. telling you Nicotine can reduce the onset of Alzheimer’s and Dementia:
RFK Jr: NIH Studies show Nicotine can Reduce the onset of Alzheimer’s and Dementia pic.twitter.com/70r4qN5SdZ
— Noah Christopher (@DailyNoahNews) July 29, 2025
TRANSCRIPT:
RFK Jr.:
The fact that children are—
That, that, that vaping has dramatically risen among children, um, but cigarette smoke has gone down.
Oh, we have maybe 1% of American kids—1% to, to—depending on—at highest, 3%.
Generally speaking, about 1% who smoke cigarettes.
And they—you know, the vapes are, um—uh-huh—they don't, uh, they don't burn tobacco.
And nicotine itself does not cause cancer.
There is no evidence that it's carcinogenic.
It, it may in fact have some health benefits.
It's clearly addictive, but it may have zero other health benefits.
We have an NIH study that shows that it, uh, uh, you know, that it reduces, uh, onset of, of Alzheimer's and of dementia.
GET ALP POUCHES HERE
A- and so—and it's, it's, it's infinitely preferential to smoking.
I think that, um, the, uh, eh, nicotine pouches are probably the safest way to, to, uh, to consume nicotine.
Vapes are second, but the thing that we really want to get away from is cigarettes,
'cause the cost to our country just of cigarette smoke, um—
The healthcare cost is about $640 billion a year.
Now let's go to Tucker...
Check out this incredible clip where he credits Nicotine pouches for keeping him healthy and NEVER getting sick in 29 years on TV:
TUCKER CARLSON: “I'm never sick … I was on TV for 29 years. How many shows did I miss? None.” pic.twitter.com/TebZPGeTGB
— Noah Christopher (@DailyNoahNews) July 29, 2025
More here:
Tucker Carlson explains the power of ALP pouches pic.twitter.com/2HBpdqasuB
— Noah Christopher (@DailyNoahNews) July 29, 2025
And my favorite was here with the Full Send bros...
Check it out:
TUCKER CARLSON: "I use it every second I'm awake. The hostility to nicotine is really telling. It increases mental acuity, it raises your testosterone level. What's the problem?" pic.twitter.com/daEqbj6NmK
— Noah Christopher (@DailyNoahNews) July 29, 2025
So there ya go!
If you want to support Tucker and use a SUPERIOR Nicotine pouch, get the ALP pouches here and I think right now you can save 10% off your order too:
GET ALP POUCHES HERE
And drop me a comment below or shoot me an email if you use ALP and love them!
Thanks!