Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire

Conservative Satire

@conservativesatire

Sad: This Kid's Uncle Actually Works At Nintendo But No One Will Believe Him
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babylonbee.com

Sad: This Kid's Uncle Actually Works At Nintendo But No One Will Believe Him

SEATTLE, WA — In a cruel twist of fate, local boy Steven Brent actually has an uncle who works at Nintendo, but no one will believe him because of the popular meme.

Xi Happily Drops All Tariffs After Trump Shows Him How To Use Chopsticks To Become A Walrus
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babylonbee.com

Xi Happily Drops All Tariffs After Trump Shows Him How To Use Chopsticks To Become A Walrus

GYEONGJU — Trade negotiations between the U.S. and China reached a much-needed breakthrough on Thursday, as Chinese President Xi Jinping agreed to drop all tariffs after President Donald Trump showed him how to use chopsticks to become a walrus.

Trump Orders Nuclear Weapons Testing To Be Carried Out By The Guys From Dude Perfect
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babylonbee.com

Trump Orders Nuclear Weapons Testing To Be Carried Out By The Guys From Dude Perfect

U.S. — For the first time since 1992, the United States planned to resume nuclear weapons testing. President Donald Trump ordered the Pentagon to resume tests immediately and to "get the guys from Dude Perfect" to do it.

Pope Leo Canonizes The 1996-98 Chicago Bulls
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babylonbee.com

Pope Leo Canonizes The 1996-98 Chicago Bulls

VATICAN CITY — In a move that drew criticism of bias toward his hometown teams, Pope Leo XIV officially canonized the 1996-98 Chicago Bulls.

Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives
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babylonbee.com

Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives

GOTHAM CITY — A foolish thief found himself in the hospital recovering from a dislocated shoulder, a fractured wrist, three broken ribs, and a shattered pelvis after foolishly trying to rob a bank in the same city where Batman lives.