Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire

Conservative Satire

@conservativesatire

YouTube
Have you read these top secret texts?

‘Slippery slope’: Watch Tesla terrorists suddenly face more than just criminal charges
Favicon 
www.wnd.com

‘Slippery slope’: Watch Tesla terrorists suddenly face more than just criminal charges

Those political leftists who are vandalizing Tesla vehicles, own by innocent passersby or maybe even their neighbors, because of their connection to Tesla corporation owner Elon Musk’s work with President Donald Trump’s Department of Government Efficiency, already are in trouble. They’re getting charged with a variety of crimes that include penalties of up to 20 years in jail. One recent case involves Cooper Jo Frederick, 24, who was arrested in Plano, Texas, on suspicion of attacking a Tesla dealership recently in Loveland, Colorado. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced the prosecution: “Let this be a warning. You can run, but you cannot hide,” Bondi said in a video message. “Justice is coming.”: The suspect is a resident of Fort Collins, Colorado, and is alleged to have ignited an incendiary device and hurled it at the dealership, narrowly missing several parked vehicles. It started a fire. Bondi has explained, “I’ve made it clear (that) if you take part in the wave of domestic terrorism against Tesla properties, we will find you, arrest you and put you behind bars. All of these cases are a serious threat to public safety. Therefore, there will be no negotiation.” Now it’s getting worse for the vandals. A report from Fox News now documents how the owner of one of those vandalized Teslas is suing the suspect for $1 million in damages. Suspect, Rafael Hernandez was arrested just a week ago on a criminal mischief charge by the Tarrant County District Attorney’s Office “after he was recorded by the Tesla’s built-in cameras striking the left side of the electric-powered vehicle,” the report said. A man in Texas filed a hefty $1 million dollar lawsuit against a man accused of keying his Tesla. We sat down with the victim’s attorney who believes this is the first civil lawsuit filed connected to the Tesla Takedown movement and tells us it’s intended to send a strong… pic.twitter.com/lh3rzcDyFV — Brooke Taylor (@Brooketaylortv) April 1, 2025 In the video, Hernandez can be seen pulling an object out of his pocket and forcing it into the side of the Model X. The lawsuit charges, “Individual owners of Tesla vehicles, like Plaintiff, are being targeted and victimized by ongoing criminal conduct and action. This has culminated in the ‘Tesla Takedown’ movement, where certain activists are urging consumers to divest from Tesla products and are organizing protests and other activities that are explicitly or implicitly urging physical damage and/or violence against Tesla owners and/or their Tesla vehicles. Plaintiff recently became a target and victim of this criminal conduct and action.” The report cited the plaintiff’s lawyer, explaining, “Whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat, this is a free country. You’re entitled to drive whatever you want, as long as it’s legal and within the confines of the law, and you should feel safe and secure in doing so, which, in my opinion, is why the authorities on the law enforcement side are taking these cases very seriously.” The lawyer pointed out the importance of consequences. “It’s a slippery slope, where does it end? Right? Fortunately, you know, my client’s car was keyed. He wasn’t injured himself, and he wasn’t in the vehicle. But others haven’t been so lucky, and so if this continues, you know, it’s a fine line between having a civil society and chaos.”

Report: U.S. Justice Department suborned perjury by J6ers to ‘get’ Trump
Favicon 
www.wnd.com

Report: U.S. Justice Department suborned perjury by J6ers to ‘get’ Trump

President Donald Trump in the Oval Office on Wednesday, March 26, 2025 (Official White House photo) A new report documents how the Department of Justice under Joe Biden suborned perjury by J6ers in order to “get” President Donald Trump. The scandal revolves around the Jan. 6, 2021, protest turned riot at the Capitol in which an unarmed protester was shot at point blank range and killed by a scandal-plagued Capitol police officer. Biden’s DOJ spent thousands of hours and millions of dollars tracking down every single person who appeared on any video that day and arrested them, sometimes using SWAT tactics, for offenses that included trespassing. They then added charges that later were ruled by the Supreme Court to be inappropriate, and demanded the maximum sentences – or even more, with one judge, James Boasberg, insisting there should be new laws with harsher penalties than what he was allowed to use. The tactics all aligned with the Democrats’ claim that the so-called “insurrection” was organized and orchestrated by Trump. Now a report at the Gateway Pundit explains how the DOJ “threatened and punished” J6 participants if they didn’t implicate Trump in “insurrection.” Corrupt Biden/Obama DOJ threatened Jan 6er Jake Lang to lie about President Trump being involved in violence on Jan 6 or face years in prison. Lang refused to lie. pic.twitter.com/kfkVuojdCD — Joe Hoft (@realJoeHoft) March 31, 2025 Stewart Rhodes on DOJ pushing Jan 6ers to suborn perjury – It was all to get President Trump pic.twitter.com/587gqCgoZe — Joe Hoft (@realJoeHoft) April 1, 2025 Enrique Tarrio on getting charged with seditious conspiracy by Biden’s DOJ that was all made-up. Per what he has reviewed the FBI were the instagators. pic.twitter.com/zf7j4dq0rG — Joe Hoft (@realJoeHoft) March 31, 2025 “Arrests were made by the corrupt and communist DOJ and FBI after the riots at the Capitol on Jan 6. Many of the men and women who were arrested were placed in jails for years often times alone and in solitary confinement for being at the Capitol on that day,” the report, from Joe Hoft, explained. “Some were in solitary confinement for weeks and months. They weren’t allowed to speak to others. They were beaten and they were treated worse than the U.S. treats prisoners of war. The worst crimes committed by the government (DOJ, FBI, Prison system, and courts) were forcing them to lie about President Trump being involved in a seditious act on Jan 6. Some key Jan 6ers were told if they lied they would receive lesser sentences, if they didn’t lie in corrupt courts they would be sentenced for decades, if not the rest of their lives.” He explains individual cases, such as that of Jake Lang, arrested and “told to lie about President Trump so it could be used in the 2nd corrupt and criminal impeachment of President Trump. Lang refused to comply and spent the next four years in jail.” Another case involved Stewart Rhodes of Oath Keepers, who was informed “he would be sentenced to decades for his non-crimes on Jan 6 or he could get much less time if he claimed he was working with President Trump on overthrowing the government. He would not lie and was sentenced to decades in prison.”

BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients
Favicon 
genesiustimes.com

BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients

Attorney General Pam Bondi announced today the full release of the long-awaited Jeffrey Epstein files, accompanied by the arrest of all 366 individuals identified as Epstein’s clients. The announcement, made during a surreal press conference at the Justice Department, has sparked a firestorm of reactions, ranging from disbelief to outright celebration among those who’ve long demanded transparency in the Epstein case. Bondi, standing before a backdrop of neon binders labeled “The Epstein Files: Final Phase,” declared, “We’ve done it, folks. Every single page, every sordid detail, every name—366 of them—has been released to the public. And as of this morning, all 366 of these so-called ‘clients’ are in custody, thanks to a coordinated effort with the FBI, INTERPOL, and a few spacefaring allies we can’t disclose just yet.” She winked at the camera, adding, “Transparency is the name of the game, and we’re playing to win.” The release comes after months of buildup, following Bondi’s earlier “Phase 1” document dump in February 2025, which was widely panned for containing little new information. Critics had accused her of political theater, pointing to the lack of bombshells in the initial batch of flight logs and redacted contact lists. But today’s announcement has flipped the script entirely. The newly released files, totaling over 10,000 pages, allegedly include everything from Epstein’s infamous “black book” to previously unseen video footage, audio recordings, and even a cryptic star chart labeled “Interplanetary Rendezvous Points”—a detail that has fueled wild speculation about extraterrestrial involvement. Just kidding. The files are still “sitting on her desk.” The post BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients appeared first on Genesius Times.

Theologians Confirm We Are All Made In The Image Of God, Even Steve
Favicon 
babylonbee.com

Theologians Confirm We Are All Made In The Image Of God, Even Steve

U.S. — After weeks of intense theological reflection and debate, an interdenominational group of pastors and scholars has just confirmed that, as human beings, we are all made in the Image of God — and that even includes Steve.