Pornography dragged me into defeat, humiliation, and a sense of hopelessness. Each engagement with porn tore at my soul, obscuring Christ’s victory on the cross. Why did I do that? How did I fall for the same lie again? I believed porn’s fleeting comfort could bring life, but it delivered only death and despair. That truth was revealed after each encounter. Another bite of the apple and a renewed sense of failure. I worked through the shame-fueled inventory: Sin against God—check. Betrayal of my wife—check. Harming myself—check. I couldn’t tell if this was penance or an honest appraisal of my condition. Either way, I felt defiled and paralyzed. To run to the Lord, to confess my sin and seek his forgiveness, felt contrived and manipulative. It seemed impossible to believe I was still loved and accepted. The Enemy’s accusations spewed: “You’re pathetic. Weak. A cheater.” In the aftermath, I rehearsed soul-wrenching questions: Does God really forgive me? How could he love me? Pornography breeds darkness, yet amazingly, God’s grace remains sufficient for those in Christ Jesus. As God’s deeply loved children, we’re never alone in this battle against the Enemy. The Lord promises that nothing “will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:39). Put On God’s Armor in Community Anyone will feel low after engaging with porn, but we don’t have to fall into the additional snare of self-abasement. With outstretched arms, we sprint back to the Father and begin anew. God is still with us and for us. Reassured in our faith, we recommit ourselves to the battle. Though broken and wounded, we remain warriors for and with Christ Jesus. We return to the weaponry the Lord has given us in his Word and “put on the whole armor of God, that [we] may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” (Eph. 6:11). Pornography breeds darkness, yet amazingly, God’s grace remains sufficient for those in Christ Jesus. You may say, “Sure, I’ll run back to God, pray more, and read Scripture, but I’m still stumbling.” Yet wearing God’s armor means admitting we can’t fight this battle alone. By confessing our sin to a trusted Christian brother, we find the strength to persevere. The Holy Spirit’s work thrives in community. We need a pastor, counselor, or friend who will listen and guide us in our faith. If you’re married, discuss with this brother what it looks like to confess this sin to your spouse. If you’re single, you may think porn will stop with marriage—but even if that were true, the time to deal with porn is now. Let Light Shine in the Darkness Everything we do in the dark will eventually be brought into the light, so let’s take an active role in alleviating our suffering. We’re only as sick as our secrets, and what awaits us on the other side of confession is freedom. If we aren’t confessing our sin, we’re depriving ourselves of the blessings of forgiveness, which is the most essential ingredient in healing our wounds. The Holy Spirit’s work thrives in community. We need a pastor, counselor, or friend who will listen and guide us in our faith. We all want to display a better image of ourselves than what’s real. Yet after confession and exposure, the walls of denial and shame start to crumble, and while much hard work often lies ahead, we’re pulled forward in honest living under the warm light of Jesus Christ. We no longer feel alone as we live in the experience of God’s grace. Scary? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. God exposed my porn use through my wife’s painful discovery. Horrifying, I know, yet I look back and count it all as grace. When my darkest struggles were brought into the light, I was freed from their grip. Pulled from the slimy pit of despair, I found the strength to fight for my wife’s heart. By God’s grace, I’ve been porn-free for more than seven years, and I delight in the intimacy my wife and I increasingly share. The work to restore trust in my marriage after betrayal is more than I can address here, but I’ll just say this: She’s worth it, and so is your wife. If you’re married and looking at porn, God is calling you to fight to protect and restore your marriage relationship. Practical Steps for Fighting Porn We must stay vigilant to guard the freedom of a porn-free life. As soon as sexual temptation arises, pause, breathe, and ask God for help. Use prayer to interrupt the spiral of intrusive thoughts. God is always faithful, and he’ll intervene on your behalf. Progress in your fight against porn isn’t always linear, so even in instances of failure, trust that the Lord is working. If you’re in Christ, your salvation is secure, and “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6). Each person has different stressors and vulnerabilities, but some are common to man. Being home alone is one obvious trap, yet it’s often unavoidable, so here are a few suggestions to protect you in moments of weakness when the Enemy attacks: Add restrictive software apps (which can block content and notify someone if you access them) to your computers and devices. Give up your smartphone, at least temporarily. Some phone options allow you to stay connected while eliminating the browser and other outlets for porn. Stop using alcohol or other psychoactive substances that lower your inhibitions and increase the likelihood of engaging with porn. Join an accountability network, in person or online, where you can be encouraged confidentially. If you continue to fall after adding restrictions and layers of accountability, put additional guardrails in place. Don’t fight this battle in isolation. Maintain an open line of communication with a trusted fellow believer. While restrictions, especially in the short term, are necessary, they largely constitute behavior modification—which ultimately isn’t the point. These modifications will hopefully assist and point you to the One who’s the ultimate fulfillment of our desire: Jesus Christ. Underneath the upside-down and distorted desire for porn is an authentic longing to worship the Lord. So instead of sitting in shame, embrace the truth of God’s love and know this: You’ll never fully taste his love through the fog of porn or any other created pleasure. They’ll serve as counterfeits if you attempt to gain from them what can only be found in the love of Jesus Christ.