ALASKA—In what international analysts are calling “either the boldest diplomatic breakthrough of the century or a high-profile real estate closing,” President Donald Trump announced today that he has purchased Ukraine outright and officially renamed it “MyKraine.” The deal, reportedly signed at a golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey, ends the ongoing war with Russia “in one stroke of the pen and a really great signature,” according to Trump. “Everybody said peace was impossible, but I said, ‘Why not just buy the place?’” the President told reporters. “Putin’s happy, Zelensky’s happy, I’m happy — and most importantly, it’s now the best property in my portfolio. Tremendous farmland. Beautiful black soil. I might build a resort there.” Sources close to the negotiations say the purchase price was “somewhere between the GDP of Luxembourg and the annual budget of Mar-a-Lago,” with the payment allegedly made via an oversized novelty check. Under the terms of the deal, Russia will receive a lifetime membership to MyKraine’s newly planned Trump-branded country club, while NATO has been offered a “very fair” opportunity to rent conference space. The Ukrainian flag will be replaced with a gold-embroidered banner featuring Trump’s profile and the slogan, “Now It’s Mine.” Reaction from world leaders was mixed. German Chancellor Annalena Baerbock expressed cautious optimism, saying, “This is unconventional diplomacy, but at least it’s over.” Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau simply muttered, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Trump concluded the press conference by suggesting similar offers might be made to other global conflict zones. “If it works for MyKraine,” he said, “why not MyRaq? MyRan? The possibilities are endless.” Originally published January 29, 2022. The post BREAKING: Trump buys Ukraine, renames it ‘MyKraine’ in unprecedented peace deal appeared first on Genesius Times.