Episode Description: This week, Karissa and Arielle dive into stories of transformation. From India’s empowering divorce retreats to science-backed reasons to embrace aging with open arms. They discuss why aging might just be the best chapter of your life (spoiler: less stress, more joy), how one woman’s loss became a movement for survivors, and what we can all learn from the quiet power of sisterhood and resilience. Whether you’re healing from heartbreak or aging like fine wine, there’s something here to lift your spirits. If you are in the United States and experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for 24/7 confidential support. In India, you can reach the national women’s helpline at 181 or contact the Aks Foundation crisis line at +91 87930 88814 and aksfoundation.org. If you are outside the US or India, visit www.befrienders.org to find international hotlines and support resources in your country. Click here to nominate your Local Changemaker of 2025. Every nomination enters you to win a cozy Optimist Daily mug! Want to be part of the Optimism Movement? Become an Emissary. Follow us on Instagram, X, and Blue Sky. The Optimist Daily is a project of the World Business Academy. Donate link: https://www.optimistdaily.com/donate-to-support-the-optimist-daily/?gift=Y%20http:// Transcript: Theme music  Karissa:  Hello and welcome to The Optimist Daily’s Weekly Roundup. I’m Karissa.  Arielle:  And I’m Arielle, and we’re working hard to put solutions in view and optimism in movement.  Karissa:  Well, we’re back with another episode of the Pod to share the solutions from the Optimist Daily this week. If you want all of these solutions to your inbox each and every day, you can sign up for our free daily newsletter and get all of these before we cover them on the podcast.  Arielle:  If you’re more of a social media type of person, then don’t fear. You can follow us on Instagram, Pinterest, Blue Sky, X… We are @OptimistDaily on basically everything except for X. There we are @OdeToOptimism.  Karissa:  As always, thank you to our Emissaries for supporting the Optimist Daily, and if you want to become an emissary and help our small team, you can find out how in the show notes.  Arielle:  We’d also like to extend a really big thank you to everyone who supports us in non -financial ways; so that includes engaging with our social media posts, sharing stories with people that you love, all of those sorts of things. Oh, also five star reviews help us quite a bit.  Karissa:  And we also have to mention that our Local Changemakers submissions are still open until September 26th. We’re looking for the solutions in your communities. So, you can find out more in our show notes.  Arielle:  Yeah, we’ve been getting a lot of submissions rolling in, and it’s been so fun to go through them with our team. Yeah, it’s really been helping us get through some pretty difficult times in terms of… the news cycle.  Karissa:  Yeah, exactly. Uh, the news in the past week especially has just been one of those weeks where it’s a lot to handle. There’s so much going on out in the world, and it’s just, you know, so great that the Optimist Daily can be an island of good news in a sea of very negative news. And of course, that is our mission.   Arielle:  Mhm. It’s an honor to be able to share these solutions with you and to be able to focus on something positive, especially when everything feels like. It’s… it’s kind of crumbling down around us. There are so many issues that are polarizing right now. It seems like no matter how you talk about certain events, it will just get you a lot of… Hate seems like a strong word, but unfortunately it does seem like the appropriate word to use.  Karissa:  Yeah  Arielle:  Um. So yeah, I guess that’s how we’re both feeling this week. A little overwhelmed with the negativity.  Karissa:  That kind of brings us to I’m an Optimist, but… and this week it’s not “I’m an Optimist, but…” it’s “I’m an Optimist, and…” you know, I’m recentering.  Arielle:  Mm-hmm.  Karissa:  Refocusing on what’s important.  Arielle:  Yeah, I know. I totally agree with you. I didn’t really want to go into the I’m an Optimist, but… because I feel like you can’t even really get into all of the negativity that’s going on without… you know, drowning in it or getting lost in it. So, I’m with you on that one. I’m an optimist, and I’m really grateful just that we can focus on these solutions. So, on that note, Karissa, what do you have to share with us today.  Karissa:  Well, I’m really excited about the solution. I think it was very hopeful to me. So, its title is Breaking free: the Indian retreats helping women heal from divorce and rediscover hope. I guess before we dive in, we do have a content warning because this article does touch a bit on domestic violence. If you do want to skip over, then you can go ahead to Arielle’s solution.  Arielle:  Good to know.  Karissa:  I was really optimistic from seeing this because India’s first divorce camp is a retreat founded by 31-year-old Rafia Afi to help women who are divorced, separated, widowed, or struggling in toxic marriages. And she says that the idea is to normalize divorce and give it dignity.  Arielle:  I mean, divorce can be a great thing, but I know there’s still so much stigma out there for divorcees, especially for women.  Karissa:  Yeah, exactly. And Afi knows the weight of stigma firsthand, because after her first divorce, she began sharing her healing journey and single parenting stories online. And she said that many people connected with that and began messaging her. She said that it was disturbing to realize that not everyone had the support system that she did, and most of them faced judgment and couldn’t speak up.  Arielle:  Mhm.  Karissa:  That realization inspired Break Free Stories, a series of nature -themed weekend camps across Kerala.  Arielle:  Such a great idea. It’s so fascinating. This sounds like a really fun retreat, but do participants have to pay for them? Is there, like, a high price tag?   Karissa:  Yeah. So, it’s a very modest fee, or sometimes it’s free for those who can’t afford it, and 15 to 20 women gather at these retreats for games, hikes, music, and storytelling. The aim is simple yet profound: to build a safe space where strangers become friends, and shame transforms into strength here.  Arielle:  Hmm, that sounds really great. And it seems like a place for women to reclaim their stories, reclaim their sense of self, and reclaim their narrative.  Karissa:  Yeah, absolutely. And it goes even deeper than this because legal guidance is also provided here. Zaki J., who is a musician and lawyer, first joined to lead music sessions here. But she soon found that many participants needed legal guidance, most especially survivors of domestic violence. So, she explains that I started conducting legal sessions to bridge that gap, and the objective is to break societal norms around gender abuse and educate every woman on her rights. And her advocacy is actually personal because she says that her mother died at the hands of her father, which pushed her to become an advocate. Today, she uses her voice to ensure that others can take the right step at the right time.  Arielle:  Wow, that is so powerful that she came out of such a horrible, horrible situation and is now using that story, even though it’s so filled with sadness…   Karissa:  Yes.  Arielle:  …To, like, help inspire change for other women experiencing something similar. So yeah, great to hear that they’re not just providing, you know, emotional support and community, but also essential assistance for this matter. Because domestic violence is obviously a serious problem across the world, and it’s not as simple as just divorcing a violent partner to solve the issue.   Karissa:   Yeah, exactly. And I mean, the urgency couldn’t be clearer. According to India’s National Family Health Survey, 32% of married women aged 18 to 49 report domestic violence, which is just… Breaks my heart. But cultural norms in India still pressure many to stay in harmful marriages. Afi warns that too many people see separation as shameful, choosing death over divorce. And society romanticizes silent suffering, and that’s dangerous. So, she says that she really wants to change that narrative.  Arielle:  Yeah, those statistics are just really, really disheartening. And yeah, more than that, it’s so painful because you know that for everyone that speaks out or for everyone that, like, reports, there are so many that don’t. But yeah, there’s so much work to be done to change this narrative in India and beyond, but it seems like these divorce retreats are really making a difference to participants.   Karissa:  Yeah, exactly. And participants do say that the retreats are actually life-changing.  One described her divorce as traumatic until the camp helped her release years of bottled-up emotions. And she says, “We cried, we laughed, and I let out all my emotions for the first time in 15 years.” And, you know, she says that we realized divorce can be freeing. Another attendee found sisterhood and understanding through listening to other people’s stories. She says, “Earlier I was gloomy and depressed. Now I feel motivated to move forward within a day. We became like sisters.”  Arielle:  I love to see the powerful bond of sisterhood making a real difference for these women, and it really makes me appreciate my own sisters. And I know you have a sister, too. Karissa.   Karissa:  Mm-hmm.  Arielle:  It’s so strange that divorce has such a stigma. Like, whenever my friends go through breakups, I know that it’s really sad, but I also try to, umm, like, congratulate them in a way, because in the end they are making a decision for themselves and most likely for the other person to free themselves and open themselves to a partner or a love or a lifestyle that just aligns with them better. So, I think it really is a triumph for people to go through it.  Karissa:  Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think divorce can be so good for both partners and for entire families. The demand for Break Free Stories is growing rapidly, actually, and Afi plans to expand the retreats to more cities in India, and she’s creating more English -language content to reach wider audiences.  Arielle:  Yeah, amazing. Sounds like this has the potential to reach far beyond the borders of India. Yeah, which is already a huge country.   Karissa:  Yeah, exactly. As Afi says, divorce is not an end. It’s the beginning. So, I think this is just beautiful that these women are, you know, providing the support network for other women. Congratulations to them. And I hope that it continues to be successful and make a real difference. And on that note, if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, we’ve included some links in the show notes to give you some support resources. There’s a couple of hotlines for in the US and India. And if you’re outside of those countries, there’s a website called befrienders.org that will help you find international hotlines and support resources in your country.  Arielle:  Amazing. Yeah, we will definitely link those in the show notes so that they are easy to find. All right, your solution has to do with the stigma of divorce. Mine is actually addressing the stigma of aging.  Karissa:  OK, well, I’m glad that both our solutions are addressing some prominent stigmas.  Arielle:  Yeah, and I know that this is maybe not as, like, well, I don’t know. I don’t want to say that it’s not as extreme as what your solution was tackling. Because there are a lot of negative feelings about aging, and I don’t think that that just comes naturally. It… it also comes from society.   Karissa:  Yeah.  Arielle:  I am not old. I am in my 30s though, so I’m not necessarily the youngest. And there was always this fear growing up about, you know, reaching 20s.  Karissa:  Mhm.  Arielle:  Reaching 30s. You almost reach these milestones with dread, especially as a woman.  Karissa:  Yeah.  Arielle:  And all of the advertisements make you think about how to make yourself look younger and how much better that is, if you present as younger. So, it’s given me kind of weird feelings about aging. I don’t know how you feel about it.  Karissa:  Yeah, I mean, similar to you, I think ever since we were young… I mean, I remember being young and thinking 20 is so old, and you know, your life is practically over at 20, which is so far from the truth. But especially like with the beauty industry, there’s so much focus on, you know, trying to look younger. There’s so much like plastic surgery going on right now to make people look, you know, super youthful, and just skin care, like, no wrinkles, blah blah. So that’s a huge thing that’s still so prominent in our society. So, there is a lot of negative talk around aging, but I think it could be a beautiful thing, and I do think there has been kind of a shift recently with more people online to talk about, you know, it does get better when you’re older. People are just like, you know, I’m in my 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s.  Arielle:  Mm-hmm.  Karissa:  Just really living my best life.  Arielle:  Yeah, I think the messaging is changing a little bit, and I’m really grateful for that, and it’s good to see and hear other people’s stories when they’re at all of these different ages and see how much they’re thriving. Yeah, aging can be a beautiful thing, and that is what my solution is about.  As a society, it has felt like we’ve collectively decided that growing older means becoming invisible or irrelevant, especially in Western culture. But that’s not what the data shows at all, which is, like I said, what this article I’m going to be talking about dives into, and it’s titled 7 science-backed benefits of getting older you might not expect.  Karissa:  Ah, I love it. Some benefits. Let’s hear it!  Arielle:  All right, so as psychologist Michelle Feng puts it, everyone talks about aging as this decline. But aging is just living. It literally means that you’re alive, and once you shift your mindset from loss to possibility, it turns out there’s a lot to look forward to. So, the first point is, stress doesn’t run the show anymore. It’s not that older adults don’t have stress, they definitely do, but their relationship to stress actually improves.  Karissa:  That kind of surprises me because I would have guessed the opposite, that, you know, more years, more worries.  Arielle:  Hmm, that’s a fair assumption, and I honestly thought that way too. But studies have shown that people in their 60s. And beyond are better at managing stress. Aanand Naik, who directs the Conservatorium on Aging at UT Health Houston, explains it like this. Older people have a lot more ability to understand stressful or difficult circumstances, and they’re actually less reactive.  Karissa:  Yeah. I mean, it’s not that life gets easier. It’s just that we get better at life and rolling with the punches, it sounds like.  Arielle:  Exactly. One study found that adults between 65 and 84 had lower stress hormone levels and calmer heart rates than people in their 20s.  Karissa:  That makes a lot of sense because as someone in their 20s, I do feel like I’m stressed out all the time and for no good reason. I mean, sometimes there is, but it makes me very hopeful about aging to a point where I won’t be as stressed.  Arielle:  And your heart rate will, like, slow down a little bit. If you think about it, like when we’re in our 20s and when we’re younger in life, we’re assuming that we have, like, decades and decades of life left to provide for ourselves and, like, have to figure it out. And then the older you get, the less time stretches out before you.   Karissa:  Yeah.  Arielle:  So then you have, I guess, less to worry about in terms of having to, like, save all this money and, like, make sure you’re going to be OK for retirement and all of that is kind of… maybe not 100% figured out, but like more figured out.  Another thing is that emotions get easier to handle. Older adults report stronger emotional resilience, they’re better at holding on to the good.  Karissa:  Mm-hmm.  Arielle:  And letting go of the bad.  Karissa:  Yeah. Well, it kind of sounds like the emotional version of work smarter, not harder.  Arielle:  Yeah, it kind of is. Feng and Naik both say older people are more likely to reframe situations rather than suppress emotions, which can lead to better overall well-being.  Karissa:  Yeah. And I feel like that kind of goes hand in hand with the stress point that you made about carrying less, you know, not in a bad way, but it’s just easier to roll with it.  Arielle:  Yeah, and it’s easier to stay present, I suppose, which is like, yeah. Basically, all mindfulness practice is all about just being in the moment. So yeah, maybe there’s more of that to look forward to.  Karissa:  Yeah, exactly.  Arielle:  Another point is that knowledge becomes wisdom. Your memory for names or where you left your keys might take a hit. With. Age, but other kinds of intelligence, like vocabulary, experience, and big-picture thinking, often get sharper. This is what’s called crystallized intelligence. Feng describes that as your deep knowledge base. And it actually improves with time. In one study out of Japan, older adults outperformed younger ones in ecological knowledge. How the environment and natural systems work.  Karissa:  I mean, our whole lives are just one giant project and database and events. And I know that across indigenous communities, elderhood is seen as a position of leadership and cultural preservation because, you know, they know all these stories and years and years of wisdom. So, it’s not just poetic; it’s practical.  Arielle:  Mhmm. Another thing is that you stop caring what people think in a good way, and this is definitely what I’ve heard from older friends.  Karissa:  Mhmm.  Arielle:  As we get older, we care less about outside opinions, and there’s a theory called socioemotional selectivity that explains it. Basically, when people feel like their time is more limited, they prioritize what matters now. So, I guess that random guy across the street who thinks you are weird just doesn’t matter.  Karissa:  Yeah, I mean that makes a lot of sense. It’s less about the next promotion and more about meaningful conversations or a great cup of coffee with a friend.  Arielle:  Feng puts it beautifully. How much time you feel you have left actually shapes what you focus on, which is kind of what I was touching on earlier. That leads to a deeper appreciation of the present.  Karissa:  Yeah. Since, you know, Arielle, I’m kind of curious… just talking about aging and our bodily functions and stuff. There’s a stereotype I’d love to bust. Does intimacy actually decline with age?  Arielle:  Oh, this is a good and spicy question, but before I go further into this part, for listeners to know, this point acknowledges the existence of sex. Nothing graphic or anything. But in case it’s best for you or someone you’re listening with to not encounter that topic today, then feel free to skip ahead a couple minutes. But back to your question, Karissa.  Karissa:  Mhmm.  Arielle:  Thankfully, the answer is not necessarily. Naik says that for many in long-term relationships, sex actually improves in their 50s and beyond.  Karissa:  Oh my gosh. Improves. That’s… that’s cool! Great.  Arielle:  In fact, studies show that women between 55 and 80 often report greater orgasm satisfaction.   Karissa:  Wow!   Arielle:  Even if physical arousal shifts. So, the story is a lot more nuanced than just everything slows down.  Karissa:  Well, that’s good news. I remember in high school one of my teachers, who was, you know, older… I had him for one of my psychology classes. So, sex was talked about, and the psychology of sex. But I do remember him saying, like, sex does not slow down just because you’re old. Like my wife and I still get it on or whatever. As high schoolers especially, that cracked us up. It doesn’t stop, and it’s nice to hear, especially for women, that it might even get better.  Arielle:  Yeah, maybe we’re just more inclined to ask for exactly what we want, you know.   Karissa:  True. Because it sounds like the theme of this is, you know, you know what you want and you…  Arielle:  Yeah. You prioritize it. Another point is that happiness doesn’t peak when you’re young.  It is often thought that your younger years, your 20s, your 30s, whatever. These are like the happiest years of your life. But it doesn’t just rebound after midlife. It actually can keep climbing. Many older adults actually report midlife as one of their happiest phases, and satisfaction often grows in the 60s and 70s. It’s not a U-curve anymore; it’s more like a steady incline for a lot of people.  Karissa:  I love that, and it makes me really hopeful that hopefully my life never peaks. It’s always just like on a good incline, and every day, year, decade keeps getting better and better.  Arielle:  That’s a great mindset to have, because that’s actually the last point. Mindset might be the secret. Ultimately, how you think about aging can shape how you experience it. And that’s not just a nice idea. It’s also backed by science.  Karissa:  Yes, I love this. I’ve heard this before, that our beliefs about aging can become self-fulfilling and you know, kind of beliefs about other things too. We have this one article in our archive at the Optimist Daily that I really love. That gratitude can boost your longevity, which is awesome, and so can so many other things just related to your mindset.  Arielle:  Yes, Feng warns that if people think depression is a normal part of aging, then they might not get help. But on the flip side, people with a positive outlook on aging live, get this, an average of 7.5 years longer.  Karissa:  That’s actually pretty significant.  Arielle:  Probably has something to do with the gratitude thing as well, because if people have a positive outlook on aging, then they’re probably also putting a positive spin on, you know, just their everyday life.   Karissa:  Yeah, absolutely.   Arielle:  It shows that perspective isn’t just fluff; it’s a tool. And it’s a really powerful one.  Karissa:  Yeah, yeah, that’s a great point and I love that.  Arielle:  Wrinkles happen, but alongside them there’s more calm, more connection, more wisdom, and maybe even more joy. Getting older might just be one of the best things that happens to you, and I hope it is for me!  Karissa:  Yeah, me too. And honestly, this whole solution gives me so much hope. And I’ll take the laugh lines if it means more emotional clarity and less stress in my life.  Arielle:  Yeah. Same. So, here’s to aging, not as a decline. But as an incline, or a deepening!  Karissa:  And also one more note, just on our mindset and perspective, this all ties in so beautifully to focusing on the positive news and solutions and optimism. There’s a lot of other stories on the Optimist Daily to help you keep that positive mindset.  Arielle:  Yes, and they include. The power of pumpkin: Nutritional benefits and delicious ways to enjoy.  Yeah, I guess it is that season now.  Karissa:  Pumpkin spice season!  Arielle:  Koala comeback: new national park and vaccine offer hope for Australia’s iconic marsupial, How the Chicago River went from dumping ground to eco destination, and From lack to abundance: shake off your scarcity mindset with these expert-backed tips. What else do we have Karissa?  Karissa:  We have, Want to boost birthrates? Research says men need to do their part at home, Ovarian cancer symptoms you shouldn’t ignore: what to watch for and how to lower your risk, Mexico’s jaguar numbers rise: conservation sparks a 30 percent increase, and Is chlorophyll the miracle supplement TikTok claims… or just pricey green water?  Arielle:  All right. Well, hopefully all these solutions will carry everyone through their weekend and the rest of their week,  Karissa:  I have to say this round of the solutions really got me in a positive mood, so I hope it got all of our listeners to feel a little more optimistic about what’s going on out there in the world. And we can’t wait to be back next week with even more solutions.  Arielle:  All right, until then, bye!  Karissa:  Bye!  The post Podcast Transcript September 19, 2025— Hope after heartbreak: divorce support in India and 7 uplifting benefits of getting older first appeared on The Optimist Daily: Making Solutions the News.