Alright, listen up, you limp-dicked desk-jockeys and tight-assed soccer moms—it’s your ol’ pal Gut-Buster Gallagher here, fresh off the throttle of my ’72 Panhead that’s seen more pussy than a cat in heat. Picture this: I’m rollin’ into Sturgis last summer, gut hangin’ lower than my saggin’ ballsack after a three-day bender. This bimbo named Candy—yeah, ’cause her tits were sweeter than moonshine—struts up in nothin’ but a leather vest and chaps that don’t cover shit. “Hey, big boy,” she purrs, eyein’ my beer belly like it’s a goddamn buffet. “Bet that hog ain’t the only thing you ride hard.” Well, fuck me sideways, but I ain’t one to disappoint. We tear off to the Badlands, her straddlin’ my back tire like it’s her last lay before the apocalypse. Wind’s whippin’, dust’s flyin’, and she’s grindin’ on me faster than a jackhammer on Viagra. Pull over at Devil’s Tower—y’know, that big rock prick stickin’ up from the earth like God’s own middle finger. I flip her over the handlebars, hike up those chaps, and plow her like a combine through corn. She’s screamin’, “Deeper, you fat fuck!” and I’m thinkin’, hell, this is better than church on Sunday.But wait—mid-thrust, my gut decides it’s party time. Burrito from last night hits like a freight train, and I let loose a fart so rank it peeled the paint off my tank. Candy freezes, eyes waterin’, and wheezes, “Jesus, Gut-Buster, you smell like roadkill’s wet dream!” I laugh so hard I pop a button on my jeans, and boom—out flops my old fella, slappin’ her thigh like a sad sock puppet. She stares, then cackles, “Well, shit, that’s the quickest I’ve seen a hog go soft since my ex’s ego!” Moral of the story? Life’s too short for polite pussy. Grab your nuts, rev that engine, and fart your way to glory—’cause nothin’ says romance like a love tunnel echoin’ with thunder from down under. Now pass the whiskey, ya pricks, and let’s do it again. Gut-Buster Gallagher: A Fart-Fueled Fuck-Fest At Devils Tower From The Saddlebag Cook – Saddlebag TRAIL MIX CHILI AND SMOKY HOTDOGS BANDIDOS MC MEMBER ESCAPES DEATH IN WAR WITH BEAST EAST DIY Rear Tire Revolution: Swap Your Motorcycle’s Backside Like a Pro Why Bikers Love Hot Beautiful Women: The Allure of Scantily Clad Sirens in the Biker Lifestyle