Tennessee-based educator Shelby Rideout was substituting for a third-grade class when she noticed two young girls, who were otherwise “really sweet, fun, kind,” start arguing with one another. The solution she found to instantly ease that conflict was surprisingly simple. She encouraged them to “Look for some common ground.” Without missing a beat, the girls were able to make one connection after another (“Jesus” and “Ethiopian food,” in this case) without any further guidance from Rideout. Within minutes, they went from bickering to “hootin’ and hollerin’ and laughing.” Rideout shared this story to her TikTok, with the message that: “It is literally that simple. I feel like we’re a world where everyone is looking for a problem…why not look for how to get along?” @brightsignslearning #teachersoftiktok #storytime #foru #kindness #kids ♬ original sound - brightsignslearning “I don't care if it’s just that you both like peaches,” she quipped. “That’s a start. That’s how we start.”In an interview with Today, Rideout even argued that this method of finding common ground is how we ease conflict in the adult world. “Whether someone leans left or right,” she said, “most people are motivated by the same goal: to make things better.”Several viewers even proved this point by sharing some of their own positive anecdotes that came from incorporating this mindset into their everyday lives. “I was an elected official for 24 years. I used a version of your solution often, especially with elected officials of the other party,” one person wrote.Another added: “I made a conscious decision to befriend a co-worker who I was really struggling with. I started going out of my way to extend extra kindness to them. We now get along beautifully!”In this day and age, it’s easy to forget that most people are not as far apart as they think. Thankfully, they just need a starting point that reminds them of their shared humanity.If you want to try Rideout’s "common ground" approach in your own life, here are a few simple ways to start. Two women engaging in a pleasant conversation inside a coffee shopPhoto credit: CanvaFirst, ask open-ended questions. Instead of focusing on what you disagree about, ask about hobbies, favorite foods, music, or weekend plans. Shared interests often appear quickly when the conversation is relaxed.Second, listen for common values. Even when opinions differ, people often care about the same underlying goals, such as safety, fairness, family, or community. Naming those shared values can shift the tone of a conversation.Third, keep it small. Common ground does not have to be profound. Maybe you both love a certain coffee shop. Maybe you both dread Monday mornings. Small points of connection can build trust over time.Fourth, lead with kindness. A smile, a compliment, or a moment of patience can make someone more willing to meet you halfway. Kindness often opens the door to connection.Finally, remember that, as Rideout mentioned, common ground is a beginning, not a solution to every problem. You can still disagree. You can still set boundaries. But starting from a place of shared understanding makes it easier to move forward with respect. Two men engaging in a peaceful disagreement.Photo credit: CanvaBottom line: Rideout’s classroom moment is a reminder that the tools for better communication are often simple and accessible. Two third graders found their way back to laughter by naming what they shared. Adults can do the same.