Many parents are taught or conditioned to fear their children’s teenage years. It’s the season of life when your sweet angel turns into a moody rebel with an attitude problem, or so say the parents who came before us and lived to tell the tale. Mom Jacqueline Skirvin was no different. For years, she had taken pride in having a close, loving, healthy relationship with her daughter, Preslea. But other parents in her orbit kept warning her that would all change. “Just wait,” they would say. In a recent Instagram post, Skirvin shared the hard-fought results of all that waiting. She revealed five things that truly surprised her when those teenage years finally came: “I waited for attitude. Instead, I get car rides where she tells me everything.” “I waited for walls. Instead, I get to know her best friend’s life almost as well as I know hers.” “I waited for distance. Instead, I’m the first person she facetimes when something really good happens.” “I waited for rebellion. Instead, I get to watch her fall too hard, too fast… and hold her when it doesn’t last.” “I waited for drama. Instead, I became the call when the group chat turns mean and she needs to feel safe.” “It’s not perfect,” Skirvin admits in the caption of her post, but those bright slivers of connection let her know she still has a good relationship with her daughter through all the ups and downs. View this post on Instagram The post struck a huge chord with fellow parents of teenagers Some found hope in Skirvin’s optimistic message, while others lamented that they hadn’t been so lucky in their own families. In the end, the discussion was full of terrific advice. Several commenters were thrilled to help bust the myth that parenting a teenager inherently has to be a nightmare: “My DREAM. My daughter is so cool I can’t wait to know her at every stage of her life.” “Teenagers aren’t hard to love at all, if you give them the foundations they need to fly. They’re actually very cool people” Others were convinced that dreading teenagehood has become a self-fulfilling prophecy: “We need MOREEEE of this energy for us girl moms!!! I have two daughters who are toddlers right now, and I am constantly told how horrible they will be as teenagers. It’s makes me so sad.” Some cautioned that, yes, being the parent of a teenager can be beautiful, but we shouldn’t gloss over the hard parts: “My eldest is 15 and youngest 13. I [get] this too BUT im also the one who gets the sharp edge of her tongue initially when shes overwhelmed and cant manage her emotions, I get the look before I get the hugs and details… I get both sides whilst she figures out her head and her heart. on balance im honoured to be trusted with both sides, the good, the bad and the ugly as I am the safety net where love without boundaries exist” Raising a teenager has its ups and downs. Photo credit: Canva To the parents in the comments struggling through a difficult relationship with their teens, the overwhelming response was, poetically, “Just wait.” “She will come around. She will have to grow up first but in time. It is so hard.” “I’m 32 and a mom of 2 and I have never been closer to my Mom. There is still time” Experts admit that living with teenagers can be a humongous challenge But they say a few things that can help are drawing strong boundaries about how you’ll be treated (not tolerating disrespect, insults, etc.) and giving your child plenty of space to work through their complex emotional responses and develop their own identity, which often involves at least a small amount of healthy rebellion. The key to Skirvin’s story is not that she forced connection and closeness with her teenage daughter, but rather that she stayed present enough to capture those opportunities when they presented themselves at unexpected times. For Skirvin, “waiting” for the teenage years to come was extremely good practice that served her well for the challenge ahead. The post Mom braced herself for daughter’s teenage years, but wasn’t ready for these 5 beautiful moments appeared first on Upworthy.