Parents spend 18 years raising their children (and sometimes more), so it’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment that matters most in their upbringing. Is it helping them with homework when they’re struggling? Inspiring them to get back up after failure? Or is it the example you set when interacting with loved ones? According to Dr. Becky Kennedy, dubbed the “Millennial Parenting Whisperer,” the most important moment comes after you’ve messed up as a parent. Kennedy, known online as “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and the founder and CEO of Good Inside, a parent-coaching platform designed to “help you solve current challenges and get ahead of future ones.” Dr. Becky Kennedy. Photo credit: World Economic Forum/Flickr On a recent episode of What Now? With Trevor Noah, Dr. Becky shared why repairing relationships is the most important thing a parent can do. Even though she is one of America’s most popular family psychologists, she often falls short of perfection and loses her cool, just like any parent. But these moments of imperfection matter because they allow her to grow with her child—and that’s invaluable. “I mean it with such honesty that my kids don’t have some Dr. Becky person as a mom,” she said. “I also mean equally that I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. I mean, we learn the most in our relationships when people take responsibility for their behavior, when people repair. I wouldn’t want to deprive my kids of that opportunity, and that’s such [an important] part of healthy relationships.” Why repair is so important in relationships “After all, there’s almost nothing within our interpersonal relationships that can have as much impact as repair,” Dr. Becky said in a 2023 TED Talk. “Repair is the act of going back to a moment of disconnection. Taking responsibility for your behavior and acknowledging the impact it had on another. And I want to differentiate a repair from an apology, because when an apology often looks to shut a conversation down, ‘Hey, I’m sorry I yelled. Can we move on now?’ A good repair opens one up.” Dr. Becky shares how to repair a relationship with a child “I often think about three elements: name what happened, take responsibility, state what you would do differently the next time. It could come together like this: ‘Hey. I keep thinking about what happened the other night in the kitchen. I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sure that felt scary. And it wasn’t your fault. I’m working on staying calm, even when I’m frustrated.’ A 15-second intervention can have a lifelong impact.” Dr. Becky’s advice should be uplifting to parents everywhere because no one is perfect—not even Dr. Becky—and we will all lose our cool at times. But when it happens, it gives us the opportunity to teach our kids the most important interpersonal skill: how to repair a relationship that has ruptured. When we learn how to repair our relationships, we can ensure they won’t fail at the first sign of trouble. Instead, stronger relationships have the potential to stand the test of time. The post ‘Millennial Parenting Whisperer’ shares the most important moment to have with your child appeared first on Upworthy.