Gen X stylist Jennine Jacob posts a lot of content encouraging women not to fall victim to ageism and instead find confidence in their self-expression. But in a recent video, she got candid about how freeing it’s been to reject society’s norms in her own life. In the clip, Jacob referenced a woman on Instagram who shared that “no one prepares you for mid-forties ugly.” The video appears to come from content creator Susie Trigg Tucker, who got candid about the natural “grieving process” that comes with “your physical beauty changing.” Addressing her own gray hair and textured skin, Tucker urged other women to “lean into acceptance” and “work on redefining what makes us beautiful.”  View this post on Instagram But for Jacob, the experience hasn’t been quite so painful. In fact, it’s been rather liberating. “No one prepared me for how little I would care about what people think about my looks,” she said. “Nobody prepared me for how comfortable I would feel about my looks at this age.” “And yes, I have wrinkles, I have thinning hair, I have gray hair…I have all of the things that are like conventionally bad, but I literally could not care less,” she added.  Her reason for this laissez-faire attitude is simple. “I did my time in the patriarchy, and my time is done,” she shared. View this post on Instagram “I have never felt more free being so ‘ugly’…I am so grateful for it,” Jacob concluded. Judging by the comments, she’s not the only one who has felt this way.  “100000000000%!!!! I feel the best ever!!!!” “I couldn’t agree more! Aging out of the male gaze is the best part! Now there’s an inner peace like I have never known. I wish this gift for all women.” Granted, it seems that Jacob did spend some time, as Tucker put it, “redefining what beauty looks like.” In previous videos, she shared that when she first turned 40, she used Botox, face tape, and filters in hopes of looking younger. Now she doesn’t use any of those things and says she feels “1,000x better.” Really, these two women aren’t arguing two different points of view. It’s perfectly natural for women (or anyone, really) to grieve a physical way of being that no longer exists one moment, and the next appreciate the wisdom and confidence that come with growing older. That’s pretty much adult life in a nutshell. Their conversation arrives at a moment when aging, beauty standards, and cosmetic procedures are being talked about more openly than ever. Social media feeds are filled with discussions about Botox, fillers, preventative treatments, and whether embracing natural aging is empowering or simply another unrealistic expectation placed on women. For some people, cosmetic procedures feel like a form of self-expression and autonomy. For others, rejecting those options can feel equally empowering. Increasingly, women are speaking honestly about the complicated emotions that come with getting older in a culture that has long prioritized youth. @manonmathews We love aging!!! #botox #aging #filler #comedy ♬ original sound – Manon Mathews What voices like Tucker’s and Jacob’s show is that there isn’t just one correct way to navigate that experience. Some people grieve the changes that come with age. Others feel an unexpected sense of freedom when they realize they no longer feel pressured to perform beauty for anyone else. And, sometimes, those two feelings can exist at the very same time. What matters most, as both women suggest in their own ways, is giving people the space to define beauty and self-worth on their own terms. For many women entering their 40s and beyond, that definition is finally becoming something they get to write themselves. The post Stylist has liberating response to ‘mid-forties ugly’ comment, and women are applauding appeared first on Upworthy.