Now that we get a “No Kings” protest every few months, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that there’s no reason to cover these demonstrations anymore. By now, we’re all familiar with the routine. Bored old people see these protests as an excuse to get out of the house (or the nursing home in many cases), all while feeling like they’re mounting a heroic defense against fascism. And young people — to the extent they show up at all — collectively make a strong case for reopening the asylums, abolishing public schools, and enforcing the Communist Control Act. For lack of a better term, these protests are freak shows — the modern-day equivalent of those old traveling circuses that put the most damaged, disabled and otherwise dysfunctional people on full display. And like the freak shows of old, these “No Kings” protests (which turned into riots in some cases) are well-funded. They’re a whole industry, as we’ll discuss in a moment. But before we get into the sources of that funding — and why it’s a serious problem — we have to begin with a note of optimism. After you see the footage of these protests, there’s simply no other way to say it: God has blessed us with truly pathetic and embarrassing enemies. The activists who want to destroy Western civilization aren’t even capable of putting on a single event, over one weekend, in which they don’t humiliate themselves. In that vein, the latest round of “No Kings” protests was — somehow, against all odds — a considerable downgrade from the “No Kings” rallies that preceded it. Even with everything we’ve seen over the past year, this was the single most embarrassing protest that the Left has organized in recent memory. (And for the record, the protest was called “No Dictators” in Hawaii, so as not to offend the indigenous monarchy they used to have. But for simplicity’s sake, we’ll stick with the “No Kings” branding, even though the Left can’t even agree on that). Take this scene from the Minneapolis “No Kings” protest, for example. This is one of their emcees — a woman who’s apparently a comedian. Here’s her rousing message to the crowd. Watch: The emcee at the No Kings rally in Minnesota, Lizz Winstead, says the quiet part out loud, reminding everyone that the so-called “No Kings” movement is a communist movement. “I want people to know that if you want to act like Minnesota, or you think Minnesota is a model, what… pic.twitter.com/8yUkyHOtlS — Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) March 28, 2026 Source: @SteveGuest/X.com Like every other clip I’m about to play, this feels like it has to be satire. But we’ve checked it a million times and indeed, it’s very real. As she stands at a podium that says “No Kings,” she declares to the masses, “What we need is pack mules” who will do whatever the “leaders” tell them to do: “Be the folding chairs.” Bring donuts to the “brilliant minds,” whose brilliance you can’t begin to comprehend. The great lesson of the “No Kings” movement, apparently, is that you need to exercise greater obedience to people in authority. The fundamental position held by actual monarchists and “No Kings” protesters is, it turns out, strikingly similar. The only real difference is that monarchists can typically deliver their message in an eloquent and even inspiring way. Whereas the “No Kings” message is delivered through the nasally, scolding tones of an ill tempered middle aged childless woman. As you may remember, one of the big knocks against the previous “No Kings” protests is that the whole “No Kings” message simply doesn’t work, coming from the Left. These are the same people who, just a few years ago, forced everyone to stay at home and take an experimental mRNA shot — or else they’d lose their job. They caused trillions of dollars in economic damages with the COVID lockdowns, which destroyed small businesses and prevented children from socializing or going to school. This is damage that we still haven’t remotely recovered from. And that’s just *one* area in which the Left has embraced authoritarianism. We all remember the relentless social media censorship, the cancellation campaigns, the forced indoctrination and so on. So how exactly can these same people, with a straight face, claim to oppose authoritarianism with these “No Kings” protests? Now, thanks to the “No Kings” protest this weekend, we have our answer. The answer is: Shut up and be a folding chair and a pack mule, you moron. They don’t actually oppose “authoritarianism.” They just want to be the authoritarians. And that’s why, when they’re asked why exactly they’re protesting, none of these people have a decent answer. A Daily Wire reporter Brecca Stoll was on the ground at the D.C. “No Kings” protest.  D.C. “No Kings” protester says Trump is taking away black women’s rights… When @breccastoll asks how, she can’t come up with a real answer: Protester: “Waking up as a black woman is such a political act…I can’t wait until this sh*t is behind us and…we don’t have to worry… pic.twitter.com/1JokbtsCYR — Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) March 28, 2026 Source: @realDailyWire/X.com So she begins with the familiar refrain. She says that she’s exhausted just from being a black woman. This country is so racist against her that the simple act of being a black woman is courageous, and it exhausts her. All of these people love to talk about how exhausted they are. Which is funny because they don’t do anything at all. They don’t work. They don’t contribute. They don’t have kids or families. They don’t have responsibilities. They just hang around, scroll TikTok, join a protest every once in a while, and then announce that they are utterly exhausted by a life that is, in every way, more luxurious and leisurely than the life of royalty not that long ago. Egyptian Pharaohs could not have even fathomed the level of comfort this “exhausted” woman enjoys. Then she tells us that apparently they’re lining up black women in the hospitals, and shooting them for no reason. She has ten seconds to come up with one example of what she’s protesting against, and after thinking about it for a bit, she comes up with something that’s completely insane. Apparently if you go to the hospital as a black woman with appendicitis or something, they’ll say “Right this way,” and lead you to the back of the hospital where they immediately murder you. Of course, this is actually similar to how health care works in Canada, except that you’re considerably more likely to get that treatment as a white man than a black woman. In this country, in reality, according to DataHazard, 25% of black and Hispanic medical students have below-average scores on the MCAT, which is the test you need to take in order to get into med school. Only around 3% of white and Asian medical students have scores that low. So no, black people are not getting “murdered” in the medical profession. They’re being allowed into the profession, when they clearly should be rejected, in large numbers. The problem is now so bad that half of UCLA medical students are now failing basic tests. By the way, you might have noticed that her shirt said, “Castrate pedophiles.” This was a theme of the weekend. Democrats — who endorse the chemical and physical castration of children, as well as the murder of children both inside and outside the womb  —  have decided that their political opponents are, in fact, a threat to minors. It makes about as much sense as the idea that medical schools are execution chambers for black people, but they’re running with it.  Watch: My friends, including @dontayecarter and @AttorneyGriggs, chant “Release the files! You know they’re pedophiles!” at the No Kings rally in Sandy Springs, Georgia. #NoKings pic.twitter.com/7glpsnvDIa — Seth Taylor (@SethTaylor1991) March 28, 2026 Source: @SethTaylor1991/X.com via Storyful It’s a fun activity for the old woman. She’s getting some sun. She’s playing the drums. She’s hanging out with some new people. And really, the whole “protest” is just an excuse for her to do it. We should be honest about that. None of these people are remotely consistent or coherent. None of them were calling for the release of the Epstein Files until Trump became president, and they don’t care that the Trump administration has been releasing these files. And the last guy in the little conga line there has a sign that’s totally unrelated to the Epstein files. In case you missed it, his sign read, “Eat the rich, wash them down with ICE” — which also doesn’t make any sense, on its own terms. So this isn’t really a protest about “Kings” at all. It’s really about ICE, and rich people, and Epstein, and everything else. It’s a grab bag of every random leftist complaint. No one really knows what it’s about, which is why the one-on-one interviews with the protesters were so entertaining.  Here’s another.  Watch: Uh, uh..um, um pic.twitter.com/Vk14GThRsx — The Daily Sneed™ (@Tr00peRR) March 29, 2026 Source: @Tr00peRR/X.com Well, she was right about sounding like an idiot at least. But as always, there’s no self-reflection. There’s no realization that she’s wasting her time. Instead, she comes up with the claim that Donald Trump is a King because, “We have Trump out there right now pushing up against protesters in major cities.” And she makes this statement *while she’s at a protest in a major city* — one of many similar protests occurring all over the country. So we have a king who doesn’t allow any protest, and to prove that point, we’re going to protest all over the place, constantly, in the most obnoxious way possible, and the King’s not going to do anything about it. Apparently, the King only “pushes up against protesters” when they try to run over federal agents with their SUV, or when they violently attack Border Patrol agents making an arrest. I need to emphasize that I’m not cherry-picking clips here. Every single time one of these people was asked to explain their worldview, it all fell apart. And sometimes children are forcibly dragged into this nonsense as well.  Watch: This is one of the most astonishing interviews I’ve ever seen in my life. A mother/daughter duo at a South Carolina “No Kings” protest could not explain AT ALL to a reporter why either of them were protesting. Zero clue. Not a single coherent sentence, unbelievable to watch… pic.twitter.com/Xzzb1zIdIl — Matt Van Swol (@mattvanswol) March 29, 2026 Source: @mattvanswol/X.com It’s clear that the mother is happy that her child is engaged in politics and activism, as an end in itself. She thinks it’s good for someone to be protesting, as a general matter. This is how we get colleges full of angry, chronically depressed 18-year-old students. This is how we get Antifa lawyers who decide to firebomb police cruisers. If you’re going to encourage your child to be angry about nothing in particular, then they’ll never be happy. It’s one of the worst things you can do to a child. Inevitably, they’ll turn out like this guy. Watch: Liberal man with his face painted orange and wearing a crown gets triggered during ‘No Kings’ protest. “You’re going down the wrong road right now with me. I wouldn’t go any further.”