Everyone has felt anger, but not everyone knows what to do with it. For some, anger is an emotion they feel needs to be suppressed due to embarrassing or damaging outbursts. There’s also pressure to keep cool in social situations, even when something isn’t right. Anger, however, isn’t something to be ashamed of. In fact, it can be a form of compassion. When reframed and used effectively, anger can be a source of self-love and protection. It can also help address what’s wrong in a constructive way. Mental health professionals who spoke to Upworthy shared how reframing anger and channeling it properly can be beneficial. 1. Acknowledge the anger “Anger is like the quarter you insert in a toll booth,” said licensed clinical social worker and therapist Roselyn Pérez Casiano. “Resistance to insert it will keep you stuck, but choosing to accept it and let it go will open the gate towards self-compassion.” “It is a natural human emotion, and I see it as a signal that tells us that the boundary has been crossed or the need is not being met,” said Dr. Lori Bohn of Voyager Recovery Center. “If we can recognize it early on, we can use it instead of being consumed by it. We need people to be able to slow down when they are feeling anger arise and look at what is being threatened or not being met.” “When people feel anger, it is not that there is something ‘wrong’ with them,” said clinical psychologist Dr. Erika Bach. “It is worth paying attention and getting curious about, because it can tell us a lot about what we are feeling in a situation and can propel us forward to speak honestly or to set boundaries.” “It’s important to allow anger to show up rather than repressing it,” said therapist Natalia Michaelson. “Collaborating with your anger, rather than fighting against it, can be a positive way to support yourself.” 2. Isolate the “why” There’s a reason you feel angry. Knowing what’s behind it can help you address it. “[Anger] is an indicator that the unmet needs, the injustices, or the underlying sadness are important to look at,” said Bohn. “Instead of trying to eliminate the anger, we can look at what the underlying needs are and express them in a way that is strong but also respectful.” “Ultimately, anger is a primal emotion, and just like all emotions, they can be used as information,” said therapist Atalie Abramovici. “Anger may be one of the more uncomfortable emotions to experience, but it has a plethora of potential to connect to yourself more honestly, and with the world more ambitiously.” 3. Reframe anger as protection, self-compassion, and self-love “I frequently tell my clients that anger is an expression of self-love,” said licensed counselor Karissa Mueller. “It’s often coming from a part of them that’s trying to get them to notice when a boundary has been crossed, or they’re not being loved or cared for in the way that they need. Parts that get our attention through anger tend to function really well as highlighters, directing our attention towards something that matters.” “Some tips for working with anger include sitting with it compassionately, like you might with another person who is struggling, and understanding how it protects you,” said Michaelson. “We feel anger when things feel unfair, when it feels as though a boundary has been crossed, or we want to speak up,” said Bach. “Anger can give us the fire and motivation to finally share how we’re feeling when we might otherwise have difficulty doing so.” This reframing allows anger to be seen not as a weapon or something to be shamefully suppressed, but as a signal from your core self that something is wrong and needs to be addressed to protect you. 4. Take the “why” and put it into useful action “Let’s say you just got broken up with and you’re feeling anger on a deep level,” said Abramovici. “Instead of focusing that anger towards your ex and obsessing over them, you can channel the energy that comes with that anger towards being competitive with yourself, leveling up in your personal and professional life, doing things that once brought you joy, and challenging yourself to accomplish goals that you may not have had that spark of motivation to push yourself towards.” Mueller recommends asking your anger questions like, “What are you hoping will happen by making me feel angry about this?” and “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t make me feel angry about this?” The answers can help you identify positive, healthy actions to address the root of the anger. Casiano offers additional questions to ask yourself once you understand why you’re angry: “Ask yourself: What am I perceiving as beyond my control? What is truly important to me here? What is truly under my control? What can I do? Directing your attention to what matters makes self-compassion and constructive action more accessible.” That pent-up energy from anger can be useful fuel for solutions or achievements when it’s been reframed and examined to understand why it emerged in the first place. 5. Let go of anger when it’s no longer useful or becomes harmful Sometimes anger can’t be used to resolve what caused it in the first place. In those cases, it’s best to release it in a healthy way. Exercising, screaming into a pillow, or expressing your anger through art can help ease tension. “Some of the grounding techniques that are recommended so that the person doesn’t get lost in the overwhelming feeling of the anger are deep breathing techniques, relaxation techniques, or identifying the physical sensation in the body,” said Bohn. @lionhearttherapist Coping with anger #tiktok #mentalhealth #fyp #foryoupage #foryou #therapistsoftiktok #anger ♬ original sound – Dr. Brendan Nierenberg, PsyD 6. If it becomes overwhelming, seek professional guidance Managing and reframing your anger isn’t something you have to do alone. Seeking support from a mental health professional can help you find the tools and strategies needed to manage it effectively. “To deepen this work and learn how to work compassionately with your anger, finding an IFS therapist can be helpful,” said Michaelson. “IFS is a non-stigmatizing model that helps people learn how to extend self-compassion to their parts, including the parts people often struggle being compassionate towards, like anger.” The post Mental health experts share 6 ways to transform anger into compassionate action appeared first on Upworthy.