New York, NY – Mayor Zohran Mamdani proudly cut the ribbon today on The Guillotine Grill, the city’s first municipally endorsed cannibal restaurant, where diners can finally turn the rallying cry “eat the rich” into a literal five-course tasting menu. Located in a former luxury condo building in Bushwick, the eatery sources its protein exclusively from “willing and ethically expropriated members of the exploitative class,” according to a City Hall press release. Patrons pay on a progressive scale: billionaires are charged $1,200 for the full experience (which includes being added to the menu), while working-class comrades eat free after presenting proof of recent eviction resistance or a screenshot of their most viral anti-capitalist tweet. Signature dishes include “Jeff Bezos Bourguignon,” a hearty stew featuring tender cheek and shank from the Amazon founder, finished with a reduction of his own private-jet fuel; the “Elon Musk Fillet,” described as “musk-ox style tenderloin with notes of South African biltong and Reddit moderator tears”; and the popular “Jamie Dimon Ribeye,” slow-roasted with a side of liquidated JPMorgan assets. “Our administration is committed to closing the hunger gap,” Mayor Mamdani said at the opening, wearing a blood-spattered apron over his tailored suit. “For too long, ‘eat the rich’ was mere metaphor. Here in New York, we believe in material solutions. Every bite represents true redistribution — protein from the 1% straight to the people.” The waitstaff, unionized under the Democratic Socialists of America’s new Cannibal Workers International, politely decline tips but accept donations to the Mayor’s re-election PAC. Early diners reported the meat was “surprisingly well-marbled” and that the ambiance felt “revolutionary yet surprisingly upscale.” City health officials have granted the restaurant a provisional A rating, noting that all donors signed comprehensive consent forms and were harvested using “the most humane guillotine technology available.” A children’s menu is in development featuring smaller “Trust Fund Tots” nuggets and “Silver Spoon Puree.” Critics from the landlord class have called the concept “distasteful,” but Mayor Mamdani dismissed their concerns as “classist whining from those who taste better than they talk.” The Nation praised the venture as “a courageous experiment in applied praxis that finally makes dining out feel like genuine direct action.” Reservations have been booked solid for the next three years, with priority seating for comrades who can correctly identify at least seven members of the Squad. When asked if he had sampled the menu, the Mayor cited a prior engagement at a $3,000-per-plate fundraising dinner but encouraged all New Yorkers to “come hungry for justice — and maybe bring a doggy bag for the revolution.” The post Mamdani Opens New NYC Restaurant Allowing Comrades to Literally ‘Eat the Rich’ appeared first on Genesius Times.