He’s blowing stuff up. He’s shooting guns. And he’s doing it all with friendly southern folks he just met an hour ago. His name is Freddy, and he’s back. After two agonizing weeks of radio silence, the internet’s favorite German is back on X, chronicling his trek across America, wandering through regions we rarely put on postcards, marveling at the small stuff most of us have stopped noticing entirely. The reason for his absence: a mob of angry, almost certainly liberal, Reddit dwellers came for him with all the subtlety of a group chat spiraling at 2 a.m. He’s not really German, they insisted. Just a tourist milking the World Cup. An American plant. A CIA asset. A prop manufactured to make red, white, and blue look good. What these people apparently cannot fathom is that a visitor might just love it here that much. Perhaps Freddy sees something the rest of us have gone blind to, grown numb to, or gotten too spoiled to appreciate. Now that Freddy’s posting again, one thing has become undeniable: America needs a Freddy Protection Program. A formal mechanism to trade our America-hating, mask-hoarding DSA denizens for America-loving patriots from abroad. And the case for it writes itself. First, Freddy values our First and Second Amendments properly. He’s lived out the First by refusing to kneel to the dementors, the joy-sucking ghouls of the online Left, and refusing to let them silence him. Instead, he keeps speaking his mind, because, in his words, “a small group of very loud people shouldn’t be able to ruin something that brought so many others joy.” Preach it, F-man. Wear that First Amendment out. And he’s getting a taste of the Second, too. Somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere beauty of rural Tennessee, he made fast friends with strangers who invited him along to shoot guns at random objects. The epitome of American greatness. Freddy’s caption on his post documenting this moment perfectly captured the mood of our nation this month: “HOLY FCKING SHT FREEEEEDOMMMM!!!!