I woke up with unusual energy‚ as if I had fallen straight out of a Michael Jackson music video. I grabbed my notebook‚ my sunglasses‚ and a coffee to go‚ then went to write in the sun by the sea. After annoying politicians in my articles‚ driving expensive cars at high speed‚ and toasting with expensive rum late at night‚ sunbathing‚ or tanning‚ is my favorite activity. READ MORE from Itxu Díaz: Thank You‚ Globalist Elites‚ for This Week’s Display of Talent My friends say that I live fairly well just because I don’t have to work in an office. What they don’t know is that while they are dancing at a nightclub in the wee hours of the night‚ I‚ although I might be with them‚ am actually doing field work. The writer is working all the time‚ every minute. That’s exhausting. Actually‚ not so much‚ but half of my job is complaining.  As an opinion columnist‚ the key to my work is understanding human behavior‚ perhaps in order to try to understand the behavior of the masses. In my experience‚ that’s a simple thing to do once you understand pig behavior‚ but sometimes you get surprises.  Human beings can be extremely idiotic — look at me. They can also be extremely intelligent‚ like Maria Sharapova (although I don’t want my flirtatious objectives to be too obvious). And‚ sometimes‚ they can be both at the same time‚ like Alf‚ although I’m not sure Melmac counts as human: Don’t forget that he was smart enough to easily unhinge Willie Tanner and dumb enough to feed on cats. Human beings can be right all the time‚ like any of my girlfriends. Or they can be wrong all the time‚ like me against any of my girlfriends. Human beings can be harmless fools‚ like the inventor of Hubbard’s electrometer‚ which measured the degree of suffering tomatoes undergo when you slice them. (Spoiler: They suffer. A lot‚ according to Hubbard.) Or they can be dangerous fools‚ like Michael Moore‚ who just told Jews that they should attack “white European Christians”; you can’t expect much from a guy who’s more in love with Ben &; Jerry’s than his own intellect.  The press used to be a good gauge of social intelligence levels. If the newspaper was full of events like: “Man loses arm after putting it in blender‚” or “LGBT protesters pay tribute to Republic of Iran‚” you knew that common sense was absent in the streets. If the press was full of remarkable and meritorious facts‚ you could still have a little faith in humanity. That was because journalists would write what they saw‚ nothing more‚ and the rest of the time they were completely drunk. Now journalists are teetotal‚ vegan‚ and sustainable‚ and they use Michael Moore’s soporific documentaries as a historical source on European Christianity. Maybe it’s because too many journalists now try to think before they write‚ and that’s killing the profession faster than clickbait. Here’s an example: I returned home from the beach with pink skin‚ charged batteries‚ and a finished article. In my books it was turning out to be a perfect day. For some reason‚ I decided to mess it up. I mean‚ of course‚ that I opened the Washington Post. There I came across a particularly annoying headline: “‘I’d rather die hot than live ugly’: Tanning mania returns.” Every time I open progressive mainstream press‚ I’m struck by the following question: Are we doing anything right?  Journalism‚ as I said‚ used to be an informative activity. Sometimes analytical. And‚ at other times‚ a source of entertainment. Postmodern journalism is mom getting mad about something random and sending you to sleep without dinner no matter what time it is.  As for my day in the sun‚ I can only tell Mommy Post one thing: I will do it every day for the rest of my life. No‚ I’m not addicted to tanning. And her theory that social networks are causing a wave of sun addicts is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read: Precisely‚ since there are social networks‚ there’s no need to get sunburned on the beach; if anything works well now‚ it’s filters to look better tanned than someone from the Congo. But whatever. I’ve decided that this spring I’m going to stop being the most cantankerous columnist in the universe. I’m going to make an effort to try to understand all the stupidity that surrounds me (my own stupidity already has too many analysts). I will become one of those journalists who berate you for what you eat or don’t eat‚ who publish pieces like: “This is why you’ve been opening milk cartons wrong all your life‚” and who call anything they don’t like‚ whether it’s sunbathing‚ participating in a foam party‚ or smoking at the gas station‚ a “dangerous and deadly addiction.” Perhaps humanity of our times is divided in two: the happy and the unhappy. I have already made my choice. I like the sun‚ and I always chase after happiness. My only problem is that happiness is faster than me. Translated by Joel Dalmau. Buy Itxu Díaz’s new book‚ I Will Not Eat Crickets: An Angry Satirist Declares War on the Globalist Elite‚ here today! The post The <;i>;Washington Post<;/i>; Has Attacked Tanning ‘Addiction.’ That Won’t Do. appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.