The progressive is a creature that, like all others, evolves. Many progressives at 18 turn conservative by their 30s, as soon as they start earning a paycheck and witness the federal government’s greed firsthand. Others take longer. Here are 50 symptoms your progressivism is going to hell. You should hold fast to it. We still need someone to laugh at. You’re horrified when a teacher tells your kid they’ll learn math “with a gender perspective.” You no longer need to be the trendiest person at the Thanksgiving dinner table. If it’s a choice between saving a lettuce or a grilled rib, the lettuce is dead. You start sentences with, “I have gay friends, but…” When you see a field of solar panels, you miss the natural landscapes of your childhood. You’re disgusted watching your kid’s teacher twerk half-naked on TikTok. You’d rather drill a hole through your toenail than argue in defense of Hunter Biden. Women in burqas make you feel uneasy. You identify more with the Fourth of July than Pride Day. You mention something Reagan did well and forget to insult him right after. Looking around, you wonder if subsidies help or harm the people getting them. You think Bill Gates is more senile than the Windows 95 Clippy. When you hear “environmental justice,” you instinctively grab your wallet. You smile and nod quietly when Trump talks about Alcatraz prison. You accidentally swapped Mother Jones for The American Spectator, and the results are shocking: you look younger and your cholesterol’s down! You start wondering how progressive activists have survived the last 20 years while you’ve been working your butt off. You see no real difference between OnlyFans and Congress. You explain to your old progressive friends the difference between legal immigrants (whom you support) and illegal immigrants (whom you don’t). Emmanuel Macron seems too dumb to also be French. Your sense of solidarity shrinks as your taxes grow. John Lennon’s “Imagine” strikes you as the cheesiest, dumbest song ever. You see no difference between George Soros and a raisin. Your new baseball cap has a little American flag on it. You show your grandkids “old” Disney movies, saying, “That was the good stuff.” You secretly smile at a meme posted by Elon Musk. Obama’s starting to seem less “black” to you. Jordan Peterson’s talks feel too woke. You no longer foam at the mouth when you see a Bible. You think animals are cuter in the wild. You start saying things like “our people first.” You yell at New York Times headlines on your computer screen. You cringe when AOC speaks on your behalf. You’ve stopped reading bestsellers and self-help books. You couldn’t care less about the UN’s recommendations. You’re uneasy watching your progressive buddies cheer parents castrating their underage kids. Greta Thunberg is starting to seem more annoying than honest. You’re suspicious of digital currency (you’ve started stashing cash under the mattress). You trust a gas can more than an electric battery. You think DOGE is bad for politicians but great for regular folks. After the assassination attempts, you no longer see Trump as pure evil. You miss May ’68: sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll — not transsexuality, veganism, and strawless cocktails. You worry a Chinese AI robot might escape and spark a murder pandemic. Clint Eastwood is starting to feel like a national hero. You love five-patty burgers. When the news says “We’ll eat crickets,” you shout, “Your momma will eat them!” If BLM wants another cent from you, they’ll need a Kalashnikov and six guys to take it. You’re relieved to openly say Kamala Harris seemed like a total idiot. You watch “far-right” activist videos to get mad but end up thinking, “If they weren’t far-right, I’d agree.” You’ve hung a Winchester ’73 in your hallway. And you salute it as you pass. You’ve reached number 50 without wanting to cancel me. The post 50 Awful Signs Your Progressivism Is Crumbling appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.