The AMC networks have attached a trigger warning to the classic mafia movie “Goodfellas.” The warning reads — and as God is my witness, I am not making this up — “This film includes language and/or cultural stereotypes that are inconsistent with today’s standards of inclusion and tolerance and may offend some viewers.” Apparently, AMC was concerned the violent antics of Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci would offend those viewers who wish to include and tolerate Italian Americans so Italian Americans won’t set their restaurant on fire and empty a thirty-eight into their face before burying their bullet-riddled body in the Jersey Pine Barrens. Now, some people may feel that putting a trigger warning on Martin Scorsese’s greatest film is an idea so stupid it must have been dreamed up by some dribble-faced DEI hire who can’t tell the difference between sensitivity and a whoopee cushion. But AMC defended the action in a statement issued by Paul Dribbleface, Vice President in charge of Sensitivity or Whoopee Cushions, like, Whichever. The Dribbleface statement reads, “Me are putting warning words on moving picture story to show watching peoples AMC be sensitivity-like toward Italian Americans so Italian Americans don’t kill us because they is all gangsters.” WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show The statement goes on to say that AMC will be adding appropriate trigger warnings to other classic movies as well.  For instance, Steven Spielberg’s “Schindler’s List” will now come with a warning that reads, “This film depicts virulent antisemitism followed by the mass slaughter of Jews as if that were a bad thing, and may therefore offend students at Harvard University.” The 1939 classic Wizard of Oz will come with a warning that reads “This film depicts dwarves as absolutely adorable little creatures who sing in hilarious high pitch voices and wear gaily colored clothes while prancing happily around a skipping girl, which may offend those dwarves who are still bitter about the fact that Snow White treated them like de-sexualized children but was perfectly willing to put out for the first tall guy who came riding up out of nowhere and kissed her without her consent.” The Humphrey Bogart perennial “Casablanca” will begin with a notice that warns viewers, “This film depicts Americans sacrificing their personal happiness to defeat a threat to world peace and freedom and is inconsistent with today’s American standards of total selfishness masquerading as political courage — or resistance or some other damn thing — when it’s really just a bunch of ill-educated adolescent ding-dongs risking absolutely nothing while hiding behind masks and screaming at people.” And, of course, the American epic “Gone With the Wind” will now include the warning, “This film may trigger MeToo victims because it includes a depiction of a woman using sex to get what she wants and then not complaining about it or blaming someone else. Also, we’re not totally sure black people were really quite this happy about being slaves.” With some films, AMC plans to simply edit out any offensive material that might cause viewer discomfort. For example, the scene in “Goldfinger” where Sean Connery smacks a girl on the backside and tells her to run along has been deleted so it won’t upset feminists by reminding them that getting smacked on the backside by Sean Connery is actually one of their life goals. The scene in “Dracula” where the vampire bites a scantily clad girl on the throat will be deleted because most of the AMC audience is the same age as Dracula, and we don’t want to give them any ideas. By attaching trigger warnings to classic movies and editing out offensive scenes, executives at AMC are hoping to cement their reputation as the dumbest group of human beings who can still manage to dress themselves without falling over. That way, when people finally realize there’s no longer any point in watching movies interrupted by commercials, they might still send a few dollars to the AMC staff out of pity, realizing anyone idiotic enough to put a trigger warning on great old movies is unlikely to be able to find another job after their moronic network vanishes up the fundament of its own stupidity. * * * Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. He is the bestselling author of the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, “The House of Love and Death,” is now available. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.” The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

'The encounter levels we are currently seeing across the southwest border are presenting a serious challenge to the men and women of [Customs and Border Protection]'

'I thought it was jet lag'

'And the president of the university absolutely left her for dead essentially'

This Complete List Of Black Flag Albums And Songs presents the full discography of Black Flag studio albums. The band was first formed in 1976.  The group hails from the area of Hermosa Beach, California. All these spectacular albums have been presented below in chronological order. We have also included all original release dates with each  Black Flag album as well as all original album covers. Every album listed below showcases the entire Black Flag album tracklisting. Damaged Released: 1981 Damaged was the debut studio album from Black Flag, featuring Henry Rollins on vocals, Greg Ginn on guitar, Dez Cadena The post Complete List of Black Flag Albums And Discography appeared first on ClassicRockHistory.com.

Feel-Good Friday: Fetterman Facilitates Freedom for American in Turks and Caicos Edition

German AfD Members Expelled From 'Far-Right' Coalition Group Right Before EU Parliamentary Elections

California police believe a plumber would have gotten away with murdering an elderly man if they had not spotted an odd detail in his bank statements while investigating another murder. 38-year-old Rotherie Durell Foster was in jail for allegedly killing his friend in 2022, but he has also been charged for the murder of one his clients who was previously believed to have died of natural causes. The Camarillo man was charged in the murder of 35-year-old José Antonio Velásquez, who also worked as a plumber. Velásquez went missing in July 2022, and his remains were found months later in the Santa Monica mountains, according to the Ventura County District Attorney’s Office and Sheriff’s Office. 'Potential for murder for financial gain.' Prosecutors said that Foster used a gun to "violently" obtain financial information of Velásquez and then buy gas, clothing, and food with the stolen money. While police were building their case against Foster for that murder, they noticed that he had a connection to the death of an elderly man whose remains were found on Jan. 10, 2022. 72-year-old Bill Dean Levy was found dead at his home in Granada Hills, and officials did not consider it a suspicious incident, so an autopsy was not conducted. Levy was believed to have died of natural causes, and his remains were buried. That might have been the end of the story until detectives noticed that Levy had made multiple payments to Foster through his bank account. The strange thing was that those payments were made on Jan. 11, a day after the man had died. Police immediately suspected that the payments could have been a pattern similar to those made after the death of Velásquez, or as they described it, “potential for murder for financial gain.” Investigators then discovered that Foster had completed plumbing work for Levy at his home several times. In order to find out whether there was another homicide case, officials exhumed the remains of Levy. The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner’s Office then found that he had not died of natural causes but from fentanyl exposure, and his cause of death was changed to homicide. Officials said other evidence tied Foster to Levy's death, and they charged him for his murder. Even more possible victims Police are investigating other suspicious bank exchanges from another Los Angeles man to Foster. And he has been charged in an armed robbery of a convenience store in July 2022. Foster faces 33 felony charges including murder in the first degree, murder in the commission of a burglary, identity theft, and forgery. He had previously been convicted as a juvenile of involuntary manslaughter and assault with a deadly weapon. Officials said he was sentenced to 21 years in prison, but they're not sure how much of that he actually served. Police said that Levy lived alone and donated his entire estate to numerous charities including the American Heart Association and Children’s Hospital. Here's the video news report about the case from KTLA-TV. Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

The “mostly peaceful” pro-Hamas protesters have made the world aware that they’re anything but peaceful, but the media and the Biden administration don’t seem to care. “If you’re a serious president of the United States, you look at that and you go, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can’t tolerate that. I’m going to put my foot down,’” Mark Levin says, referencing a recent video of a protester attacking a Jewish man at the Met Gala in New York. Meanwhile, the protests at college campuses are getting worse — and Levin knows who’s behind them. “It’s amazing how the media don’t look into who these people are, who their parents are, where they come from, what’s their background. Just remember this: Most revolutions have been led by fairly wealthy people,” he explains. “They’ve always been led by people who don’t represent the people. It’s a small minority,” he continues, adding, “This is a Jew-hating, America-hating, Marxist-Islamist minority.” While the protesters who were actually quite peaceful on January 6 are facing prison time, these protesters just get away with it. “Why isn’t the word insurrection ever used against these people?” Levin asks. “They want to overthrow our economic system, they want to overthrow our government. We’re colonialists, we’re imperialists. Why don’t they say they’re leading an insurrection?” Levin explains that what these protesters have made clear is that they “want the extermination of the Jews and the extermination of the United States.” “It’s called an insurrection, but we don’t call this an insurrection. We save that for MAGA,” he adds.Want more from Mark Levin?To enjoy more of "the Great One" — Mark Levin as you've never seen him before — subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin is slated to undergo a procedure on Friday, the Pentagon noted in a statement. The deputy defense secretary was slated to take on the role of acting defense secretary during the procedure, the statement noted.'The secretary has determined he will be temporarily unable to perform his functions and duties during the procedure.'"Secretary of Defense Lloyd J. Austin III will undergo a scheduled, elective, and minimally invasive follow-up non-surgical procedure related to his previously reported bladder issue at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center later this evening," the statement from Pentagon press secretary Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder notes."The secretary has determined he will be temporarily unable to perform his functions and duties during the procedure, so Deputy Secretary of Defense Kathleen Hicks will assume the functions and duties of the secretary of defense and serve as the acting secretary of defense," the statement notes.Austin underwent a prostatectomy late last year. This year he was admitted to Walter Reed on January 1 and remained there for some time before being released later that month.He was admitted to Walter Reed again the next month."Secretary Austin was admitted to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on Feb. 11 with discomfort and concern from a bladder issue related to his December 2023 prostate cancer surgery. His condition indicated a need for close monitoring by the critical care team and supportive care. His diagnostic evaluation identified the cause of his bladder issue and it was corrected with non-surgical procedures on Feb. 12," Dr. John Maddox and Dr. Gregory Chesnut noted in a statement that was included in a February 13 Pentagon press release. "The bladder issue was not related to his cancer diagnosis and will have no effect on his excellent cancer prognosis."Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!