The sandwich technique‚ also known as a compliment sandwich or feedback sandwich‚ has been a tool for delivering criticism since the 1940s. But it really became something of a workplace staple after 1984‚ thanks to Mary Kay Ashs book People Management. The idea seems sound enough. The deliverer of the criticism would first offer a compliment to the recipient‚ followed by the actual feedback‚ then another bit of praise. This should theoretically allow the criticism to be received without bruising any ego or hurting any feelings. Everybody wins.But according to organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant‚ the compliment sandwich doesnt taste as good as it looks.In various interviews‚ podcasts‚ social media posts and even a Substack article‚ Grant has chalked up the compliment sandwich ineffectiveness to two major shortcomings.One being that people are simply too familiar with it. So whatever compliment is given‚ no matter how genuine it may be‚ people know whats coming next and they begin waiting for the other shoe drop. Knowing the compliments are obligatory can actually make someone take the criticism ever more personally.Two: the opposite can happen. Because people tend to remember the first and last parts of a conversation‚ the criticism might be downplayed or outright buried underneath the positive feedback. This goes especially for narcissists‚ Grant notes.Luckily there is a kind‚ yet efficient way to give some tough love. And it all boils down to one simple sentence:Im giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.See on InstagramThe phrase comes from a 2013 study conducted by researchers at Stanford‚who were able to increase a students openness to criticism by at least 40% just by using those 19 words.As Grant explains‚ this strategy works because it conveys an intention to help a person become the best version of themselves. Its surprisingly easy to hear a hard truth when it comes from someone who believes in your potential and cares about your success.Of course‚ using the exact words isnt mandatory. The point is focusing on helping someone improve‚ rather than attacking or patronizing them.To that point‚ Grant also has a few other helpful pointers‚ like not assuming a position of superiority‚ asking if the person is open to feedback first (Grant attests they usually welcome it) and lastly‚ keeping the language transparent‚ not manipulative.At the end of the day‚ most people want to grow‚ become better people‚ and live up to their potential. Remembering that one little truism can go a long way.

Today';s kids are busier than ever‚ which means parents are often feeding them something quick on those days. A quick go to has been Lunchables‚ a prepackaged kid-friendly meal with a sweet treat inside. Some are just made to be snacks and those contain crackers‚ cheese‚ luncheon meat and cookies or candy. But the other Lunchables come complete with full sandwiches‚ pizza‚ chicken nuggets or hot dogs and include a drink.They made the perfect thing to grab in a pinch and fit perfectly into lunch boxes. But parents are getting a jolt as a new consumer release reveals that these solutions to a quick meal or snack actually contain large amounts of lead. Yes‚ lead. Turns out there isn';t really a regulation on how much lead can be in foods in America outside of California. One dad took to social media to express his dismay at the discovery of this information.Pearlmania500 says in a shocked tone‚ ";oh my God‚ Lunchables have lead in them? They got 74% of the maximum allowable dose. We have a maximum allowable doses of lead? On no‚ that';s in California because there is no federal limit so you can just putTHERE';S NO FEDERAL LIMIT TO HOW MUCH LEAD YOU CAN PUT IN A LUNCHABLE!";@pearlmania500Consumer reports research is out there for all concerned parents to see #parenting #schoollunch #moms #dads #grandparents #PTA #pizza #pearlmania500 #news getting harder to trust these food companiesThe more he reads the consumer report‚ the more shocked he becomes at the staggering amount of lead found in these products our children consume. Parents in the comments are just as flabbergasted as he is.";Thank goodness it';s not in paint anymore so paint chips are now safer to eat than luncables‚"; someone writes.";WAIT IS THAT WHY THE CEO OF THE COMPANY SAID HE WOULDN';T FEED THEM TO HIS KIDS‚"; a commenter questions.";Well thank God they took the lead out of the paint and made sure the kids eat it in their lunch‚"; another writes. ";My daughter has high lead levels and we couldn';t figure out why. We changed everything except eating lunchables‚"; someone else says.One commenter wrote a multi-comment response to the video explaining that his college professor warned them of the high levels of lead in foods. Others were now suddenly thankful their parents couldn';t afford to buy Lunchables when they were children. This will likely be something that spurs change‚ but in the meantime parents are probably going to toss out these quick meals just in case.It';s mu-fu-'; Lunchables‚ man 5 dollars a pack We gon'; make | Flickr

In a world where both parents usually have to work to support a child‚ its rare that a parent can spend the entire day with their kids. So‚ as parents‚ we have to do our best to be there when they need us the most.TikTokker Sara Martinez says there are 3 key moments a day when a parent should be with their child: the three minutes after they wake up‚ the three minutes after they get home from school or daycare‚ and the three minutes before they go to bed.Affective neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp is widely credited with the 9-minute theory. Its a common thread among parents‚ from those who stay at home and juggle countless tasks to working parents who face their own unique challenges‚ Martinez told Newsweek.Joanna Seidel‚ MSW‚ RSW‚ the Clinical Director and Founder of Toronto Family Therapy &;amp; Mediation Inc.‚ says that the 9-minute practice is probably related to attachment theory. The times the mother is referencing in the video are all significantthey are times of routine and transitiontherefore moments where critical parenting is involved‚ Seidel told Parents.@iamsaramartinezI always struggle with mom guilt and questioning if i was present enough. If this is true or not‚ I do find setting aside specific time to be present with my toddler (no phones out‚ etc) has made a positive impact. #raisingkids #parenting #parentingtips #parentingtip #childpsychology #raisingtoddlers #toddlerparents #toddlermom #presentparenting #toddlermama #raisingchildrenShe adds that being present for children during these 3 key moments helps foster security‚ consistency‚ and a meaningful presenceall of which is done to form a secure (emotional and physical) foundation for your child(ren).The 9-minute theory resonated with many of the moms who watched the video. This is such a comforting theory for a working mom‚ Marisa wrote. Im not perfect but I can try to be in THOSE 9 minutes‚ Emmy added.

On a planet with nearly 8 billion humans living on it‚ the uniqueness of every single person feels like a bit of a miracle. And yet here we are‚ each with a distinct personality and life story made up of our own experiences‚ perspectives‚ relationships and purpose. We encounter countless other people during our lifetimes‚ some of whom we build bonds with and some of whom are just split-second flashes in our line of vision. And then there are occasional precious moments of connection with a perfect stranger‚ the mysterious magic that happens when two people share a brief interaction that makes a mark in our memories forever. This is one of those moments.Artist Samalia Swan was strolling the Saturday night market on Thailand';s Koh Phangan island when she saw a sweet‚ elderly woman selling banana cakes. She sat down across the way and surreptitiously sketched a picture of her. After approaching the stand and buying one of her banana cakes‚ Swan gave the woman the picture she drew. Her reaction is sheer surprise and delighta true testament to the power of being seen. Watch:See on InstagramThere';s something about watching a face that has lived a long life light up‚ isn';t there? The video has been viewed over 18 million times on Instagram‚ with nearly 2 million likes and over 15‚000 comments. People loved seeing the joy in her face and the way she kissed both the money and the drawing with such tenderness. ";How do I buy all the banana cakes?"; asked one person.";Warning should have been ';onions cutting in progress‚';"; wrote another.";I dont think some people understand how powerful it is to make others feel seen‚"; shared another. ";You definitely made her day and shes going to remember that for a long time.";Someone else wrote‚ ";I love kind humans doing kind human things. It makes my eyes tear up and my heart feel like bursting.";";This is so precious‚"; offered another. ";Her smile and loving old eyes. She was so surprised. Elders need a purpose and these banana cakes are her purpose.";People asked if there was a way to raise funds for the woman so she didn';t have to work‚ but others pointed out that she might actually enjoy selling her cakes at the market once a week. Others said it looks like she could have issues with her eyes that could be solved with a simple surgery. Swan shared that she';s going to visit again with the woman and find out more about what needs‚ if any‚ she has. ";My mission is to spread LOVE &;amp; KINDNESS to this beautiful world we live in‚"; Swan wrote on Instagram‚ and she does that by using her art to show people their own beauty. ";It all began four years ago when I picked up a pen and sketched a stranger in a caf‚"; she shared. ";The act of giving away that drawing brought me immense joy a joy of unconditional giving. Since then‚ drawing strangers has become my cherished hobby‚ and I do so with the sole intention of giving."; Even if nothing more comes of her interaction with woman selling banana cakes‚ this beautiful example of human connection is one that Swan‚ the woman and the millions who witnessed it will remember and cherish. You can follow Samalia Swan on Instagram.

Nurse and mom Jinny Schmidt wants parents to be aware of a game thats circulating amongst tweens right now‚ because its not a game at all. In a PSA posted to her TikTok‚ Schmidt shared that her daughter informed her that boys in her class were beginning to play what she called The Firetruck Game. As Schmidt begins to describe what the game entails‚ its easy to see why shes concerned. All parents should be. Heres how the game works: a boy puts his hand on a girls lower thigh. And he tells her my hand is a firetruck as he slowly moves it up her leg. When the girl gets uncomfortable‚ she is supposed to say red light. Except for when the girl says red light‚ the boy responds with sorry‚ firetrucks dont stop for red lights. And so they run their hand all the way up the girls leg‚ Schmidt explains‚ and sometimes they touch the girls crotch. Yikes.Many viewers noted growing up with the Firetruck Game‚ or a version called The Nervous Game‚ or Red Light Green Light. Suddenly The Squid Game version of Red Light Green Light doesnt seem so bad.No matter what its called‚ though‚ its touching without consent‚ and is inappropriate on so many levels‚ not least of which being that its an excuse for sexual assault. Hence Schmidts alarm.I know that kids will be kids and kids will do some stupid shit‚ But weve got to do better teaching our boys to keep their hands off of other people and teaching our girls that its okay to have boundaries‚ she says‚ before asking parents to be aware if they hear their kids talking about it. @the.funny.nurse Yall gonna see me on the 6 Oclock news. #jrhigh #kids #tween #preteen #parents #moms #momsoftiktok #dads #dadsoftiktok #teacher #teachersoftiktok #publicschool #school #firetruck #firetruckgame #firetruckgameawareness #girls #boys #game original sound - Jin-Jin And she is‚ of course‚ absolutely right. Folks who watched her video wholeheartedly agreed that the behavior should not be tolerated‚ and many shared some pretty intense‚ although warranted‚ reactions to it.Wed be playing a game called Ambulance next‚ one person wrote.Press charges‚ said another.We have a game also. Its called oops I broke your finger‚ a third added. But many also chimed in to say that they would be talking to their kids immediately about it‚ which is probably the best route overall. That way kids can protect themselves‚ and others around them.Middle school years in general are pretty rough. They can be just as difficult to navigate for parents as they can be for the kids going through it. Its painful to watch your still baby-faced child go through many of the same awful pains that you did‚ many of which are unavoidable. But some things‚ like terrible and abusive games‚ can be avoided. So make sure to have those important conversations when you can.

Imagine walking down the street‚ minding your own business‚ when a complete stranger unfurls a red carpet at your feet. What do you do? Awkwardly avoid it and continue along your route? Tell the person off for not respecting boundaries? Or do you wholeheartedly accept the impromptu invitation and strut your best stuff? For the passersby of Belfast‚ option three was the only choice. Alan Wallace‚ who routinely posts uplifting videos that share the warmth of his hometown over on TikTok‚ recently added a video of himself going up to random folks on the street and giving them a moment to shine. And lets just say‚ they nailed it. Folks from all walks of lifeincluding a construction worker that could be Michael Sheens doppelgngerlit up at the opportunity to catwalk‚ skateboard‚ cartwheel and even do the worm down the crimson strip.In a mere matter of seconds‚ we see all that humanity has to offerhumor‚ free expression‚ joy‚ inclusivity‚ connection. Such powerful stuff shown in the simplest way.Even if the moment wasnt quite as spontaneous as the video makes it appear (Wallace likely asked for permission before rolling the carpet out each time) these people still agreed to play. And thats whats magical about it.Everyone understood the assignment‚ from young to old‚ it was perfect‚ one viewer wrote. @inspiringbelfast Red carpet for strangers in Belfast #inspiringbelfast #belfastcity #belfast #heartwarming Beautiful Things (Sped Up) - Benson Boone Its natural for most people to not want to interact with strangers. And of course there are legitimate safety reasons influencing this instinct. But a lot of the time our avoidance comes from expecting things to be unenjoyable. And yet‚ research shows not only that people are often pleasantly surprised by how much connection‚ kindness‚ belonging and optimism they end up experiencing.So maybe we dont need a red carpet to simply enjoy saying hi to someone we meet on the street and reaping the benefits. But hey‚ it certainly helps.

Nobody wants to think about what happens if their child';s other parent dies unexpectedly. It';s not a pleasant topic but unfortunately it is something that happens sometimes and parents have to do their best to pick up the pieces after such a tragic loss. One mom‚ had the unfortunate experience of living through this tragedy and she took to social media to explain the steps she took to prepare for this day. Kelsey Pumel‚ a multi-hyphenate TikTok creator recently had to help her young daughter process the unexpected loss of her biological father. Pumel and Kobe';s father were never married and had broken up years prior but she admits to carrying a life insurance policy on him. The topic was brought up when her viewers informed her that she should file for social security death benefits to assist with the financial responsibility of caring for Kobe.That';s when the mom of five revealed that she took out a life insurance policy on Kobe';s father when she was pregnant for multiple reasons. ";I have gotten many rude comments about the life insurance and some wild accusations made but I';m going to say this and I need y';all to hear me. If you have a child with somebody‚ you should have life insurance one that person‚ period‚"; Pumel says. ";If something were to happen‚ you';re going to get that kickback of money to help you either raise your kids or to make up for the income that is now missing.";In a follow up video she clarifies that you do need the other person';s consent in order to take out the policy. Pumel also answers the question on what she';s doing with the insurance money after the death of her child';s father. ";When I first got the money‚ I did take a chunk of it and I paid off all of my student loans‚ now stick with me. Why did I do that? Well‚ I had about $95K worth of student loans‚ my interest was over $6K a year. I wasn';t even cutting any of it down trying to pay it with that type of interest."; She reveals after talking it over with her dad who was helping pay the loans. ";So we came up with a payment plan that pays the entire $95K plus interest back to Kobe‚ paying it monthly into a 529 Plan‚ which is a college fund for her. So all that money will go into that plan for her. If she doesn';t go to college or doesn';t use all of it‚ it will be kicked over in an investment account that she will be able to pull at retirement age.";@growingwithkelseyReplying to @bossyasf83 Correct me if im wrong about SS benefits but thats what I was told. But Kobe is going to be alright! I promise you I am getting her the brightest future possible set up! #lifeinsuranceNot only is Pumel making sure Kobe has money to retire with‚ she';s taking some of the money and putting it into a high yield account for her daughter. She also plans to buy a real estate property that will go to the little girl when she turns 18. Really‚ Pumel has thought of everything she could to make sure her daughter is set up to be financially secure her entire life.While no one wishes for their children to experience the death of a parent before their time‚ this mom proves that having a life insurance policy on a coparent is simply a smart choice. Parents in the comments are applauding her for talking about this so openly.@growingwithkelseyReplying to @ohitsamber84 There are so many ways to set up an financial future for your children without big chunks of money! I strongly recommend talking with a financial advisor if you have kids and seeing what options you may have to ensure them a strong future. ";And BOOM that is how generational wealth is made baby! Good for you mama‚"; one person says.";Girl your daughter may not understand now. But when she gets older she will thank you immensely‚"; another writes.";That';s perfect! Exactly what she';ll need! Car‚ college‚ house...set her up to have no debt‚"; someone else proclaims.

Kristian and Kim Santos got engaged after meeting at a college hip-hop class. A video of Kristian and his groomsmen went viral at the wedding after they put on a surprise dance. NBC News Kate Snow speaks to the couple and the wedding party about the behind-the-scenes planning.Source: Groomsmen spend months preparing for surprise wedding danceFun. (The videos pretty cute.)

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