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Old Age
It’s sad but it’s true. I’m old. I am 79. I have pains at least somewhere every day. Young drunk people complain to my fabulous driver, Bob Noah, that “your old man is blocking traffic.” That was just a few months ago in Sandpoint.
I am fearful of being old and homeless. Yes, I still have a beautiful wife. I still am a celebrity. I have a comfortable home in the flats of Beverly Hills.
But I am scared. I am scared of the relentless power of old age.
It’s on my mind night and day.
What passes through my mind are some words from the greatest essayist in the English language: Samuel Johnson.
Mr. Johnson said, about 300 years ago, that when in fear we old people should have on hand:
An old dog.
An old wife.
And ready money.
Truer now for Ben Stein than it ever has been.
READ MORE from Ben Stein:
A Few Words About a Coup D’état in Our Perfect USA
Your Basic Human Is Not a Hot Item
Harvey Road
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