America has never been a perfect place, but since the Civil War, it has been one where most people bought into the idea of the country and supported the institutions that keep it running. People may disagree on politics and culture, but when America was threatened, whether it was 9/11 or World War II, people came together to fight for the country they love, even though the reasons may have differed.However, it’d be naive to say that sentiment is still as strong as it once was. Since The Great Recession, many people have felt that the vibes are off in America, and polls and research back those feelings. Right around 2012, when smartphones became ubiquitous, there was a considerable rise in the number of people who felt that America was on the wrong track and that racism and sexism were considerably worse than they were just a year before. There was also a big spike in mental illness.So what happened in 2012? Did the world suddenly become drastically worse overnight, or had our perceptions been changed? Man checks his smartphone for news. Canva PhotosWhy does it feel like America is on the decline?Other developed countries have experienced similar vibe shifts since 2012, but it has hit America the hardest. Economics blogger Noah Smith explains why this feeling of malaise has hit America so hard, and he illustrates it perfectly in a viral Substack piece called “Social media destroyed one of America's key advantages.” Smith is an American blogger and commentator on economics and current events and former assistant Professor of Behavioral Finance at Stony Brook University.In his Substack post, Smith postulates that the technological change hit America the hardest because it punctured our geographical buffers. “A hippie in Oakland and a redneck in the suburbs of Houston both fundamentally felt that they were part of the same unified nation; that nation looked very different to people in each place,” Smith writes. “Californians thought America was California, and Texans thought America was Texas, and this generally allowed America to function.” — (@) Why did America fundamentally change in 2012?Here’s an excerpt from Smith’s piece. Please check out the entire piece on the Noahpinion Substack.Like some kind of forcible hive mind out of science fiction, social media suddenly threw every American in one small room with every other American. Decades of hard work spent running away from each other and creating our ideologically fragmented patchwork of geographies went up in smoke overnight, as geography suddenly ceased to mediate the everyday discussion of politics and culture.The sudden collapse of geographic sorting in political discussion threw all Americans in the same room with each other — and like the characters in Sartre’s No Exit, they discovered that “Hell is other people.” Conservatives suddenly discovered that a lot of Americans despise Christianity or resent White people over the legacy of discrimination. Liberals suddenly remembered that a lot of their countrymen frown on their lifestyles. Every progressive college kid got to see every piece of right-wing fake news that their grandparents were sharing on Facebook (whereas before, these would have been quietly confined to chain emails). Every conservative in a small town got to see Twitter activists denouncing White people. And so on. A group of people protesting in the street. via Ted Eytan/Flickr It sounds cynical to believe that America was a better place when people were less likely to talk to people with a different worldview, but it may be true. Given how things have gone in the past 15 years, it’s fair to say that putting every American in a proverbial ring to fight it out just makes everyone feel under attack...and the fight never ends.The problem with the Like buttonAnother development around the same time that many believe negatively affected the country was the development of the Like button on Facebook. The button made its debut in 2009, and it, along with the share button, which came in 2010, incentivized people to create content that their audience agreed with—creating echo chambers. The buttons also incentivized people to make outrage-provoking posts and create fake stories to go viral and increase advertising revenue. Like button.Canva PhotosThe positive takeaway from Smith’s geographical sorting theory is that, quite possibly, many people’s perceptions about life in America are wrong because we’re seeing it through the distorted, funhouse mirror of social media that shows us every bad deed in a country of 330 million people and amplifies the voices of the unscrupulous. By pinpointing the moment that America “went to hell,” as author Jonathan Haidt says in an X post, we also have a roadmap to get back to when people had greater faith in America’s institutions and people.This article originally appeared in June.

When parents set rules and boundaries, they usually do so with their family's best interests in mind. They should be adhered to and respected by all, even close family members. The dad revealed that when his in-laws continually ignored punctuality and hindered their plans, he drew up a perfect boundary. The in-laws were always late to every event, and it was becoming a huge inconvenience for his family. When they refused to make changes despite being confronted, he set a straightforward boundary that was sure to be effective: The Five-Minute Rule. A man staring at his watch.via Canva/PhotosWhat is the 5-minute rule?The dad mentioned that he was married for 16 years and his in-laws had “never been on time” to any event. He added that they weren’t even a few minutes late, but delayed by half an hour or so all the time. The man recalled a situation that was the last straw. His teenage kids had canceled their plans to spend time with their grandparents on Halloween, but they were late as usual. “They were supposed to be here at 6:30 PM to go trick-or-treating. At 7:15 PM, we called and they said they were '5 minutes away.' 22 minutes later, they arrived without any concerns,” the dad mentioned. The dad then came up with the “5-minute rule.”AITA for not letting my in-laws continue to be late for everything? byu/jax904dude inAmItheAssholeHe finally put his foot down and explained that the in-laws can't be any later than 5 minutes. “If you tell me you're gonna be somewhere at a time and aren't, after 5 minutes, I will leave. If we are meeting to eat or something and you're late, we will order and eat without you, we will leave when we finish, even if you're just getting there,” the dad explained. He didn’t just devise the plan but also executed it unapologetically so the in-laws would learn a lesson. “Tonight, they had plans to take my kids out for dinner. They said they'd be here at 7 PM,” the dad noted. Despite being reminded about the rule, they hadn’t arrived by 7.05 PM.Here's how the dad handled his late in-laws“I called them. They said they were 10 mins away. I told them to not bother with it. They tried to ask me to give them another chance since they live an hour away, and I said no way and stuck to it,” the dad mentioned in his post. He added that he felt the in-laws were being “disrespectful and not valuing” his time, and that he had to draw the line somewhere. His confident and assertive response is a perfect example of setting clear boundaries. When we set boundaries, it's good for both sides of the relationship. "When we learn how to set boundaries in a healthy way, we are respecting ourselves, as well as making room for an honest and realistic relationship with others around us that won’t cause burnout," Amanda White, LPC, writes in Therapy for Women. People supported the dad’s reaction and applauded him for taking a stand for himself. u/islandtan11 said, “Clearly your in-laws don’t respect or the time frame you gave and importantly - your kids.” u/kipsterdude wrote, “It's one thing if it's a rare occurrence but their behavior is chronic.”This article originally appeared 2 months ago.

If you're like me, you like to do a deep clean of your closet at least every five years. I pull it all out—the crazy hemlines and boho-chic tops—and even though I know they'll be back in style someday, I'm ready to start anew. I pile these clothes into garbage bags, thanking each item like I'm in an episode of a Marie Kondo docuseries and confidently walk into the nearest thrift store.As instructed, I set all the clothes on the counter with confidence that they will be impressed by my impeccable style. This is almost never the case. In thinking about these experiences, I took to Threads to share one of my stories. A screenshot of a joking comment I wrote on Threads. Photo Credit: Cecily Knobler, ThreadsI wrote: "In 1999, I tried to sell a bunch of my clothes to the Buffalo Exchange thrift store. A lady picked through each piece and said 'Get back to us when you have a Marc Jacobs or a Dior.' I yelled 'Your store smells like an alley cat' very loudly and threw the clothes on the floor. There was no TikTok back then, so I'm telling you now."Shockingly, this got nearly 4000 likes in just a few days and over 100 comments. People seemed to feel seen and I suddenly felt way less alone knowing so many resonated with my experience.Some just shared that they had similar moments, writing, "Perfect! I've never felt more judged than when trying to sell clothing at a Buffalo Exchange." Another acknowledges, "Like any of us could afford Marc Jacobs or Dior in the 90s." This person astutely adds, "And if you had Dior or Marc Jacobs, they'd have offered you $4 for it. $5 in store credit."Some in the comments were hilarious too, extra-restoring my faith in the idea that sometimes making light of not-so-pleasant shared experience can really help anxiety and shame. "Years ago, my daughter was going from 'little princess' to 'grouchy grunge teen' and wanted to turn in her Justice outfits. A LOT of sparkles and pastels. They were all lightly worn items. They looked at her and legit pushed the clothes back and said 'can't use them.' Meanwhile, they had 12 different USED Sublime t-shirts!" Thrift store scene from Portlandia. www.youtube.com, Noah, IFC And some truly made me laugh. "ALLEY CAT OLFACTORY REALNESS!" one writes in all-caps.Comedic actress Julie Brown even got in on the fun! "That place has its head up its Buffalo's a%%."Another shares, "Around 1985, I was selling stuff there in Tucson and another clerk walked by and glanced at my stuff being looked at and loudly said 'What is THAT, faux Gap???'"But before we're too hard on the employees (they're just doing their jobs), they commented too in defense of company policy. One writes, "I worked at Buffalo Exchange in the 80s. We would get a lecture every shift about what we could and could not buy, based on what was currently overstocked, what season it was, etc. And get in trouble if we didn't follow the guidelines. It was tough (for me) having to say no to nice items. But also, some people brought in disgustingly dirty things. What a job. And yet, I still sell clothes there sometimes, ha."Another tried to work there. "I applied for a job there in the early 90s. In 3 separate interviews, I had to name designers, identify fabrics, tell them about my favorite person. It was freaking bizarre. I did not make it through to the 4th interview."And quite a few pointed out the issues that many plus-sized people are faced with: "It's even worse for plus size clothing sellers. I'm a very stylish and fashionable person and I went to a local place to sell. I had a ton of perfect condition, plus-size brand name clothes, and she didn't want anything because it was too alt/punk rock for them. Mind you, there was a ton of stuff on the racks that was uglier than my stuff, and they turned down my mint condition vintage purses too."This aside, it's imperative to remember that thrifting is important for conservation and an excellent way to help environmental issues. Thrift store. Giphy Dance Thrift GIF by pierogiqueen On the Goodwill website (which incidentally can be a wonderful place to donate clothes and household items) they list the three reasons thrifting helps the environment: "Less resource consumption. Fewer things are thrown away. Less chemical pollution." They share, "Thrifting or shopping secondhand is a great way to reduce your environmental footprint while finding some really cool and unique items that you wouldn’t be able to get elsewhere. Buying items brand new might not seem like it has a very big impact on the environment, but every small action counts. By shopping for things second hand, you are voting with your dollar as a consumer to not support the industries that cause pollution and tons of waste."So don't give up on second-hand shopping. But also, especially as we approach the holidays, try not to make a big scene (oops) in front of the salespeople, no matter how judged you might feel.

Groceries aren’t cheap these days. But one appliance that can help cut your grocery bill is your freezer.Frugal people on Reddit shared the most surprising foods that can be frozen, which has helped them save tons of money on groceries."The National Center for Home Food Preservation at the University of Georgia is a great resource for instructions on how to safely preserve all kinds of food. It's practically the bible for people who do home canning but they have instructions on how to freeze, can, pickle and dehydrate almost every kind of food to get the very best, safe results," one Redditor added.Here are 23 surprising foods that you can freeze: - YouTube www.youtube.com "Ginger. Great hack for grating it." - MeetingMichael89"Bread. I always thought it would get soggy as it thawed until I saw my grandmother had many loaves of bread in her freezer. Tried it. Bread was perfect after defrosting." - Educational_Ad84"Sticks of butter. If you bake you use a lot of butter. Stock up when it's on sale and keep them in the freezer til the day before. Thaw on the counter." - chelitalazo"Green onion. I chopped them up, put in freezer zipper bags. When I want to use them in soup, I just grab some in put it in my bowl of hot soup. I'm the only one who likes green onion in my family, so I do this so they won't wither in the fridge before I use them all." - chiffonpandan"Carmelized onions. Bastards take forever.. might as well make 20 lbs. worth of onions (reduces to 2 cups ). I freeze SO many things it’s awesome!" - MakeItHomemade"Turns out it's a really good idea to freeze nuts, seeds and chunks of parmesan cheese." - User Unknown"Milk. We don’t drink milk often and a carton ends up going bad (or I’m unwilling to use) after like a week or more but we like to keep it in the house. I bought little plastic smoothie bottles and I fill several with the fresh carton and freeze them. They thaw in the fridge in a day and gets used up within a couple days. Still have the rest of the carton portioned in the fridge." - LuxCrawford See on Instagram "Bananas. Peel bananas before you freeze them. And if your bananas go bad, stick em in the fridge then use them for banana bread." - Eighth_Eve, Kiriyuma7801"Tomato paste! I use a little out of a can in a recipe, then freeze 1tbsp portions wrapped in plastic wrap to pull out later." - Zealousideal-Pie-271"The 'Level Up' of this is keeping a dedicated 'Stock Bag' in the freezer. Every time I chop onions, carrots, celery, or mushroom stems, the skins/ends go into a big Ziploc in the freezer instead of the trash. When the bag is full, I dump it in a pot with water and boil it for an hour. It makes better veggie stock than the store-bought stuff, and it's literally free because it's made from waste." - Shot-Independence-60"Jane Brody’s Good Food Book has an excellent chapter on freezing food. One of the more interesting things I learned was that pickles could be frozen. Back in the day, one time the 99 Cents Only Store (RIP) had food service sized jars of pickled banana peppers for .99. I didn’t really have enough room for the whole thing in my fridge, but I had a separate freezer. I divvied them up and had pickled peppers on my sandwiches for more than a year." - Bella-1999"Cake also is another nice option that thaws out well." - Longjumping_Sea_2650"Grabbed some discounted about to expire deli hummus. Freezes great in the tub. Thawed. Still tasty." - NumberMuncher @liz.laberge Replying to @fl01981 I apologize for the freezer beeping a few times. It wasn't a fan of the door open that long. Let me know if you have further questions! I love teaching others and learning all the tricks for preserving our food. @foodsaverbrand is our vacuum sealer #freeze #freezertour #produce #foodpreservation #stockpile "We’ve been buying discounted cheese slices regularly (our store keeps having good brands in the discount bin). One day the cashier was like 'what do you do with all of this!?' And I told her it freezes well (Swiss, provolone, and pepper jack - cheddar kind of falls apart after thawing though still usable). I’m like… how do people not know this? We also had a friend lamenting what to do with extra flour tortillas (hint: they freeze just fine). I think the harder part is remembering to use the stuff later." - agent229"Grapes. I thought they would be too hard. But they are such a yummy treat." - Jezzymom"Tofu, freezing it really changes the texture and makes it a better meat substitute. Since the water molecules expand when frozen it creates space in the tofu that when defrosted allows for marinades." - TsT2244"Peeled garlic! Picked this up from Costco subreddit, but the big bag of garlic freezes well and it's super easy to pull a few cloves out when needed. Far superior to the minced in oil." - timzilla"Eggnog! The sweet stuff that comes in cartons can be frozen. For years I had rum and eggnog on my May birthday!" - me2pleez

You can find amazing things in thrift stores. Lots of junk? Sure. But every once in a while, you come across something incredible that's far more valuable than the listed secondhand price.Even better, though more rare, are the stories. Books with letters tucked into their pages, old photographs, home videos that got lost in the shuffle. They're always a source of fascination for people who frequent thrift stores.One lucky thrifter recently shared a cool haul on social media. At first glance, the item wasn't anything special—until they flipped it over and saw what was underneath.The user, who posts frequently in the subreddit r/ThriftStoreHauls, posted a photo of a wooden object with three circular panels jutting out from a solid wood base. The poster believes it to be a magazine holder, but it could also be used for storing vinyl records.On its surface, the piece is interesting but not overly remarkable outside of its exceptional craftsmanship. That is, until the poster revealed the underside of the object, which showed a short handwritten note.The creation was signed by its creator: "W.H. Gomer, age 12, 1935""A 12-year-old made this?" OP wrote. Incredibly impressive, no doubt, especially in 1935 with less advanced tools and (gasp!) no YouTube tutorials to follow.That piece of information completely changed the way viewers saw the unique find, and a fascinating discussion followed in the comments. from ThriftStoreHauls Hundreds of people commented, with many lamenting the fact that kids aren't taught practical skills like woodworking as often in school anymore."This is what’s lacking in today’s schools. So much emphasis is placed on testing well and sending kids off to the next education level. Teach kids shop, cooking, and budgeting," one person wrote."I get your point but between budget cuts and educational legislation there rarely is time or budget for more than a quarter class of exposure," a self-described educator wrote. "There is also the issue of attracting teachers for non-core subjects. In general, society simply has stopped valuing teachers and is now suffering the consequences. Kids see how teachers are treated and don’t view it as a valuable or desirable career."Others were more amazed at the evidence of realized potential, and left wondering what else kids might accomplish if there weren't roadblocks in their way:"It's amazing what kids can do given the opportunity. If you don't treat them like they can't understand, teach safety and allow the use of tools, they develop skills," a person wrote."Kids are a lot more capable than we give them credit for," said another, while acknowledging Gomer probably had help from a teacher at skill on the piece. from ThriftStoreHauls Practical life skills, including woodworking, suffered from heavy cuts during the No Child Left Behind era. But many of these courses are coming back.The emphasis on standardized testing scores in the early 2000s left little room in curriculums for more practical skills like home economics, financial literacy, nutrition, and wood or metal shop.But the hyper-focus on academics doesn't serve kids well, research has found. The initiative boosted testing scores in some areas, but at the expense of art, music, and life-skills. It turns out that "teaching to the test" didn't have the results some thought it would. Not only do classes like cooking or woodshop teach kids useful, evergreen skills, they give their brains a boost:"For some students, the classes are a break from their academics-heavy schedules and can be a place where lessons — say about fractions or chemistry — can sink in through exposure to those same concepts in the kitchen," writes NPR.NPR also reports that, for the most part, these practical skills-based classes are on the rise again post-No Child Left Behind. Modern Machine Shop magazine agrees.One commenter on the thread sang the praises of such a trend: "My son took 2 years of woodworking as a high school elective. We got some great trays, cutting boards, guitar stands, bookcases, side tables and about a dozen pens. His teacher gave him a lathe for graduation. Wood rules!!" Teaching kids practical skills goes far beyond how useful they are in the real world. Photo by Craft Kitties on Unsplash Some clever Internet sleuths even ran Ancestry searches on W.H. Gomer—or Walter H. Gomer. According to the records, he was born in San Pedro, California and would have indeed been 12 in 1935. He was married to Rosemary Brundin for 70 years before passing away in 2015 at the incredible age of 92.One commenter summed up the beauty of Gomer's piece perfectly: "I think he would be very pleased to know someone loved it enough to buy it 90 years later."

Movies are an essential part of the Thanksgiving holiday. When family and friends gather, movies make the perfect buffer for the time between—and after—the festive meal. (And, of course, they’re a great alternative to football.)Thanksgiving movies are a tradition for many families, who often return to the same favorites each year. People on Reddit shared the films they love most, offering ideas for new additions to your holiday lineup.Here are 26 movies that people love to watch: - YouTube www.youtube.com "Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987). Watching it every Thanksgiving is an annual tradition." - MaboRamen"Addams Family Values." - legsjohnson"Home for the Holidays. So much fun stuff in this movie. Young Claire Danes. RDJ in heavy addiction period, Jodie Foster basically had to babysit him and coax him out of his trailer. Charles Durning doing insane dad, trying to wash peoples cars. Good seething resentment between sisters scene with Holly Hunter and Cynthia Stevenson. Steve Gutenberg?!?!" - Bright_Respect_1279, Giantandre"I recently added Dutch to the mix the last couple years from a recommendation (never saw it, forgot it existed)." - Independent-Win9088"Pieces of April. Cliche but like the turn of the century NYC vibes and family dysfunction. Don't come at me." - Spitethedevil"Grumpy Old Men." - jjkarate @letterboxd Need a cozy movie to watch over Thanksgiving weekend? ? Jenni Kaye of @hyperrealfilmclub is back with movie recommendations and this time with some cozy films to watch for Thanksgiving. #letterboxd #filmtok #recommendations #cozy #Thanksgiving #comfortmovies #films #movietok #cinema #community "Being an elder Millennial, the formative 90s Thanksgivings seemed to be punctuated by special movies. In '91 ET was on CBS as a huuuuge event (which also helped me get over being deathly afraid of ET). Then 93, Home Alone became a tradition on TV. I remember Jurassic Park and Jumanji as the decade moved on. Out of this, watching Home Alone on Thanksgiving night became the 'official' start of the Christmas season to my family. Even to this day, when everyone leaves around halftime of the Cowboys game, we clean up, dim the lights, and put Home Alone on to get in that Christmas spirit. When my wife and I moved into our house, we began the tradition of decorating on the Saturday after Thanksgiving while watching Gremlins." - Kjeldorthunder"I always watch Miracle on 34th Street (original black and white version) on Thanksgiving because the movie starts on Thanksgiving day." - _TalkingIsHard_"My dad (born in the 50s) says their definitive thanksgiving day movie on tv was Laurel and Hardy's Babes in Toyland; my mom (born in the 60s) says it was Peanuts [A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving]." - Agile_Cash_4249"Every November I have to watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Dutch and Son-in-Law. It's a necessity." - ButterscotchAware402"Best in Show is our tradition. Centers on a dog show and there's always one airing on Thanksgiving. After that, if we're up for it, we watch Home Alone." - Maleficent-Sleep-346 - YouTube www.youtube.com "You’ve Got Mail and Big Night! Always." - jasonn256"When Harry Met Sally and While You Were Sleeping." - obstreperous_1"Myth of Fingerprints, The Daytrippers, The Big Chill, Hannah and Her Sisters." - solidnandz"Silver Linings Playbook is my Thanksgiving go to." - mizchief_mayhem"The Family Stone. Every year." - jamjar20

We’ve all been there: you’re out at a restaurant with 10 other people for a birthday party, you’re famished, and your food arrives. However, you’re first, and it could be 10 minutes before everyone at the table, especially the guy who ordered the meatloaf, will get their food. What do you do? Appear to be rude and start scarfing down your chicken fettuccini, or let the noodles slowly grow cold while you wait for every dish to arrive?Some say that if there are six or fewer at a table, wait for everyone to arrive. Others say that you must always wait for everyone to be served unless it's a buffet or a large gathering, such as a wedding. Miss Manners believes that in situations where you order something cold, such as a salad, you must wait for those who ordered a hot meal to give you permission to eat.What is ‘Futterman’s Rule’?These rules all seem complicated and somewhat arbitrary, so there is a great rule-of-thumb I always use when eating with more than a handful of people: “Futterman’s Rule.” The Rule, conceived by New Yorker Gene Futterman, states that “When two are served, all may eat.” The wisdom comes from an unlikely place: hip-hop/punk pioneers the Beastie Boys. “Futterman’s Rule was the name of an instrumental track on their fourth studio album Ill Communication (1994), and the Rule was written in the song's liner notes."Not only did they fight for your right to party, but also for your right to eat your food while it’s hot.“Gene and [his wife] Sonni used to do large dinner parties with lots of people at the table. And they would always say, ‘When two are served, you eat!’ You don't just sit there and let your food get cold waiting for everyone to get served,” Noel Yauch, father of Beatie Boy Adam “MCA” Yauch told Grand Royal Magazine. “It's fair, it's just plain fair,” Adam Yauch added.‘Futterman’s Rule’ is practical and egalitarian“The elegance of Futterman’s Rule does lend it a hint of spirituality. One eats one’s food while it is hot, observing dinner as a natural continuum (instead of the top-down, “no-one-eats-until-the-chef-is-ready” hierarchical model that dominates most households),” Nathan Brackett, a friend of the Futtermans, wrote. “At the same time, no one eats alone (it is only once two people are served, and a social base is established for those with food, that one may begin to eat). If form follows function, the Rule is built to travel.”I am a big fan of the Rule for multiple reasons. Namely, I don’t enjoy cold food or following arbitrary rules. Also, calling Futterman’s Rule when people are sitting down to eat is a gift you give to the other people who have been served and are anxiously waiting to eat.How does Futterman’s Rule work?Let’s say there are seven people at your dinner party, and your buddy is served first, and he waits patiently. When you receive your food, you simply say, “Futterman’s Rule: Once two are served, all may eat.” Then you nod to your buddy, giving him permission to eat, and both of you chow down. One hundred percent of the time, they will join you because they are hungry and they want to confirm your bold social stance. There is also an element of distraction to calling out the Rule. Someone will ask, “What’s Futterman’s Rule?” and, as you take a massive bite of pork-fried rice, you tell the story. This Rule not only relaxes social norms around communal eating but also provides for some solid table discussion.Ultimately, table manners are very nuanced, and it’s probably not great to call out Futterman’s Rule while at a super-serious gathering or among people you don’t know very well. But it’s a great tradition to introduce to your social circle that will make everyone feel a lot more comfortable and less hungry when you go out to dinner. Much like great food, great company, and Beastie Boys music, Futterman’s Rule is to be shared. Give it a shot at your next dinner party and see if it brings people together and sparks a fun conversation about etiquette.Beastie Boys discussing the origins of "Futterman's Rule" on the Ill Communication Audio Commentary. - YouTube www.youtube.com

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