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Confessions of a Former Social-Mediaholic
My name is Tanner, I’m 26 years old, and I’m a former social-mediaholic. I’ve been sober now for nearly six years, and I’m not turning back.
My story isn’t radical. I got my first smartphone in middle school, right around the time the major social media and video game platforms were exploding in popularity. YouTube videos, Xbox servers, Snapchat streaks, and Instagram feeds were my escape from hardships in life. My family had its share of strife, and I had my own struggles, so avoiding reality through digital means quickly became second nature.
Yet I had a growing sense of loneliness and shame. I didn’t know how to get out of the digital world. I didn’t know if it was even possible.
All Things Are Possible
After I came to know Christ, things slowly began to change. God provided a covering for my sin, guilt, and shame. Despite this, I kept returning to the digital world to try to ease the immediate pain.
Avoiding reality through digital means quickly became second nature. Yet I had a growing sense of loneliness and shame.
Yet my spirit wouldn’t settle, and I realized my covering was a fig leaf in comparison to what God provided. A few months after entering college, I needed to take a break. I deleted some of the more troublesome apps and tried to move forward. But over time, my motivation would wear down, and I’d redownload the apps to see what I’d missed.
Each time I entered back in, I opened myself up to a host of temptations and would backslide again. I repeated this cycle for nearly two years.
From Slavery to Freedom
It wasn’t until I was desperate for change that I made the radical, inconceivable choice for a Gen Zer like me—I deleted all my social media accounts.
That’s right. Not just the apps, but my profiles too. Completely gone.
I took another vulnerable, yet crucial, step in asking my roommate to put a password on my settings to keep me from downloading anything again. This was humbling and restricting, and it may sound like slavery to you. To me, it was freedom. God was opening my eyes to a whole new reality.
Even though I was afraid I’d miss out on staying up to date, there was plenty of life to live right in front of me. It turns out FOMO starts to evaporate when you aren’t aware of what you’re missing out on! With new time on my hands, I was able to focus on my assignments and be more attentive to my relationship with Christ and my friends. And man, it was invigorating.
What’s Going On?
As more research has come out, I’ve retrospectively understood what was going on in my heart and mind.
Social media isn’t a neutral medium designed for social connection but rather a massive profit-based industry built on the human desire for connection and entertainment. More specifically, the industry is built on the brain’s release of a pleasure hormone, dopamine, in response to the search for and fulfillment of these desires.
It’s an effective cycle. The prolonged attention that people give to social media then becomes the product other companies try to buy. Dopamine is the perfect building block for making money. So what’s the harm? Is there a problem with providing enjoyable experiences and, in turn, making money? Not necessarily. What’s harmful is the intended effect on the user: addiction.
In his recent article, Patrick Miller compares social media companies to Las Vegas—a model of addictive entertainment. When I was growing up, my grandma owned a toy slot machine that was one of my favorite toys. It was lower risk and lower reward than a casino slot machine—but you still pulled a lever and waited nervously to see if you’d win.
It didn’t take a massive reward to get me hooked. All it took was endless opportunities to hit the jackpot, repeatable behavior in pulling the lever, and an unpredictable outcome. And that’s what social media companies have replicated with their technology.
Knowing Better
Knowing this, why do we still approach social media not only as a neutral medium for connection but also as a positive outlet for dealing with life’s difficulties? Why do we entrust our vulnerable selves to an attention-hijacking, addiction-prone system?
Sure, maybe it provides some sense of immediate relief, but can we all be honest for a minute? Social media isn’t fixing our problems. It’s making them worse. Often, we find refuge in a pleasurable retreat rather than in the true comforter and pleasure-giving God who is willing and able to help.
Hope
God has kindly worked to rid me of my dependence on social media. In the six years since, I’ve noticed I see things differently. Light is brighter. Trees are more intricate. Squirrels are more hysterical. Sin is more bitter. Christ is sweeter.
We find refuge in a pleasurable retreat rather than in the true comforter and pleasure-giving God.
And while I may not be able to talk knowingly about the latest trends, I pray that I can speak about important things with depth and authenticity that will be obvious to others. I pray that because of my social-media-free life I’m more available to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. I pray that I’m more humble, more kind, and more thoughtful. I pray that I’m more like Christ.
Friend, if God can do this in my life, I’m convinced he can do it in yours. There’s nothing special about me. Social media was stealing from my life. My addiction was trapping me in a worship war, and it seemed like the screen was always going to win.
But social media is no match for God.
If social media is making life worse and rendering you less useful for the kingdom, consider ridding yourself of it—maybe even forever. From one recovering mediaholic to another, it’s hard, but it’s so worth it.
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