It all started with a (kind of) innocuous post on X.User Santi Ruiz prefaced his post by saying that he didn't want to "stir the parenting discourse pot."He was, to put it lightly, not successful.Responding to another user who had written (now deleted): "Sleep deprivation is for like four months and then you just sleep normally most nights."Ruiz added on in a quote repost: "The sleep deprivation is fine. It’s totally fine. You suck it up and then it’s over. Grow up."(Definitely sounds like someone who "doesn't want to stir the pot!") — (@) With the pot sufficiently stirred, Ruiz's post began making its way across the X parenting universe, racking up over 1 million views (to just one thousand Likes... talk about being ratio'd.)First on the scene were the blue-check dads excitedly agreeing. — (@) "It's all fine. Literally, grow up," one wrote."Seriously, I get that it's not fun but stop being so soft," added another. — (@) Another dad chimed in that he just drinks green tea for energy and feels great!Another posited that if it was really so bad, there wouldn't be so many couples with more than one child!Reading the replies, you got the sense that these guys really had no idea how the other half lives — or their other half, to be specific.Luckily...The moms of X quickly showed up to set the record straight about sleep deprivation being "not that bad."Clearly, there is a disconnect between the experiences of the average dad in the early post-partum months and the experiences of the average mom.Shocking, I know! — (@) Could it be... that there's a difference between being the one who carried and birthed a baby and (in many cases) is responsible for feeding it with your body, versus just being there to help out as much as you can? — (@) The stories women shared in the replies and quotes were heartbreaking.Torture levels of sleep deprivation, hallucinations, and even becoming physically ill.And probably most frightening of all was the revelation that becoming deeply sleep deprived could lead to a person harming their own baby in extreme cases. — (@) It may come as a shock to the "just drink green tea and take a nap" guys, but chronic sleep deprivation can exacerbate postpartum depression, make you more irritable, increase anxiety, and even make you hallucinate.For moms, you can pile that on top of the fact that postpartum recovery from the physical and emotional trauma of birth is a process that can take months — and is slowed and hindered by lack of sleep!Sleep deprivation isn't just something parents deal with for a "few months."While some people are blessed with babies that sleep early and often, that's not overly typical.Many babies don't consistently sleep through the night until around 6-12 months old. But that's not even the whole story.Breastfeeding moms may have to breastfeed in the middle of the night for 6-18 months or even longer! Some bottle fed babies can stop night-feeding earlier (3-4 months), but many will go for 6 or more months.Not to mention there are a laughable number of common sleep regression ages — developmental periods where your normally good-sleeper may have trouble. Some experts say there are six or more of these setback stages before your child even turns 2, which feels like a cruel joke when you're living through it.That is a really long time to have your sleep disrupted every single night!Even when the disruption becomes relatively minor, it can have tons of adverse mental and physical health effects when it goes on for such a long time.Surprisingly, "suck it up" is not a credible treatment for chronic sleep loss.There is one good thing to come out of this discourse: Everyone's mileage may vary. Some people's kids are great sleepers from an early age. Others aren't.The OP may have wanted to stir up controversy for some extra followers, or maybe he just put his foot in his mouth based on his own not-so-bad experience.But you can learn a lot by examining the discourse firestorm that came after.If you truly want children but are scared of sleep deprivation horror stories, just know that it can be managed with the right support. It can be extremely harrowing but it's not a reason to deprive yourself of a family if that's what you want — you may not have it as bad as others have! A lot of the people chiming in to agree probably weren't ill-intentioned, just fortunate.More importantly, maybe let's not invalidate other parents' experiences and feelings.Saying that the sleep deprivation wasn't that bad for you is fine, but telling other people they're being soft and to grow up is mind-blowingly oblivious and unnecessary.Tired parents need all the support we can get — and more importantly, maybe someone to watch the kids so we can take a nap.

Those of us of a certain age remember asking for directions and keeping two-inch thick road atlases in our cars to find our way around. Then with the internet came the miracle of Mapquest, followed by the how-did-we-ever-live-without-this GPS systems you could attach to your dashboard. Then smartphones kicked the road trip game up a notch with map apps that not only give up step-by-step directions but also real-time traffic conditions and the ability to find a gas station or restaurant with gluten-free options along your route. Even those of us who grew up with paper maps struggle to recall how we ever got anywhere before Google Maps. Now we're so deep into the map app era that we're past the wow stage and into the nit-picky stage. It's no longer good enough to have a handheld computer tell us how to get someplace in real time. Now we have expectations, preferences, opinions and complaints. We also have data and anecdotes with which to compare different apps and discuss which ones do what best. And hoo boy do people have thoughts on that front. Former Uber employee Flo Crivello shared some info on X about the analysis they did with three of the most popular map apps—Google Maps, Apple Maps and Waze—using a dataset with millions of trips. The big winner? Apple Maps. — (@) Google came in second, and Waze was a distant third (worst "by far")."The research also included which apps people *thought* was worse, and the order came in the exact opposite order," Crivello shared. "We understood why Apple Maps got a bad rap given how bad it was at launch — it rapidly got better, but the brand stuck. Waze was more of a mystery, and we ended up realizing that people thought its routes were best because it was exposing them to so much info on traffic, construction, police presence etc… Everyone thinks they want a minimalist UI, but in practice, when they see all this info, they subconsciously conclude 'wow, these guys really have their sh*t together' — even when the routes were actually the worst ones."Crivello said the results "may be shocking," presumably because Apple Maps started with the worst reputation. In fact, Apple CEO Tim Cook famously apologized for Apple Maps in 2012 and recommended people use Google Maps instead.However, in the years since, Apple Maps has redeemed itself while Google Maps has lost a bit of its initial luster. Then Waze came along, which people in cities with variable traffic touted as more accurate for timing and real-time updates, becoming some people's favorite. But according to his data eight years ago, Apple was the winner. Do those results still hold? Some people in the replies said Google Maps was the best, hands down, while other said they preferred Apple or Waze.It might depend on where you live and what you look for in a map app (and whether you even have access to Apple Maps). Discussions about these apps abound, with some common threads throughout. Many people agree that the U.S. is where Apple Maps shines, but Google Maps works better abroad. Apple Maps offers more natural navigation directions, such as "Not at this stop sign, but at the next one, turn right," instead of Google Maps' assumption that everyone knows how far 300 feet is. Google maps has great searchability and is easier to check reviews of places compared to Apple Maps. So opinions might vary on "best" depending on what you're using it for.Waze has loyal users and people who love to joke about where it reroutes you when there's traffic. — (@) These are not the only three map apps available, either. People who travel internationally and use public transportation seem partial to the CityMapper app, which makes finding train and bus routes simple with a user-friendly interface, so again, a lot depends on why you're using the app in the first place.As far as popularity goes, Google Maps boasts a whopping 1 billion monthly users. While Apple Maps usage doesn't have any hard numbers, there is data that shows younger generations are partial to iPhones, on which Apple Maps is a native app, so its usage may be growing. What's your experience? Which map app do you prefer? This article originally appeared on 5.30.24

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