In a few weeks, autumn will begin. You know, that time when leaves, your hair, and just about everything falls. Apples, cider, and red-brown foliage. It’s time to say goodbye to summer and to these satirical summer columns with which I’ve been keeping you company these past few months on the beach. If you think the worst thing is going back to work, it’s because you haven’t yet thought about everything else you have to do when you get home. There are times when I wish I lived in a tent. It can house less junk. It gathers less dirt. There’s less room for the rotten food you forgot in a hallway cabinet before you went on vacation. Back to the Office The Moroccan geographer Ibn Battuta spent 30 years traveling. He traveled more than 120,000 kilometers and crossed 44 countries. And the amazing thing is that he wasn’t being chased by Kamala Harris. He was attacked by pirates, robbed by bandits, kidnapped, and had to hide for a week in a swamp with nothing to eat. (READ MORE from Itxu Díaz: Resolutions for the Return From Vacation) Pay attention: this was a walk in the countryside compared to what it will be like for you to go back to that damn office for the first time after vacation. Everyone will be tanned, energetic, eager to work, and in a good mood. What could be more irritating? Change of Wardrobe It’s time to ditch the Hawaiian shirts and break out the fall clothes. In fact, it’s time to shed those Hawaiian shirts for good. You’re not Tom Selleck in Magnum, P.I. Nothing Is Where It Should Be When you return home, nothing is in the right place. Most of the things you can’t find will turn up a year from now when you’re packing to go on vacation again. Don’t waste time searching. At most, if you can, if you’ve lost something very important, like a box of cigarettes, car keys, or a baby, ask mom for help. You know mothers have a superpower: x-ray vision. Sand Stays Until Christmas One of the big homecoming questions is when the heck will the sand disappear. It’s in your suitcase, in your shoes, in your car, in your cell phone earphones, and even inside a vacuum-sealed jam jar. Don’t wonder how it got there. While you sleep, the grains of sand dance, have secret parties, and sneak into every nook and cranny. When you wake up, they play dead. They won’t leave until you ignore them. The Return of the Cold  Soon it will start raining, the city will turn into hell, you will arrive at the office with soaked socks, and you will not stop sneezing all day. And, on the wettest day, some idiot who lives 15 hundred kilometers away from the nearest orchard will turn up saying joyfully: “Let it rain, it’s good for the countryside!” The Excitement of Sport In the hell of going back to work, we will be left only with sports for compensation. Buy pizza and beer and embrace that happiness with all your might. But, beware, not all women like this advice. Remember that terrifying assessment by Dave Barry: “If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.” Back to the Gym Just kidding, right? Calling Friends One of the main hobbies of the returned vacationer is to call friends for a few beers and tell them all about every single minute of his 21-day vacation in China, French Polynesia, and the Norwegian fjords. If, on top of that, you are forced to watch 15-minute videos of him climbing some nondescript mountain on his cell phone, you have every right to take revenge. Always carry a video with a couple of hours of your dog sleeping in the garden, focused on the foreground. And spend an hour and 50 minutes saying, “Wait, wait, the best is yet to come.” When the video is over and nothing happens at all, tell him, “Shit, we must have missed it. Wait.” And play it again from the beginning. Setting the Alarm Clock The alarm clock is an invention of Satan to capture souls through despair or, failing that, anger. The most dreaded moment for a vacationer is when they have to set it for the first time. Psychologists recommend adjusting the hours of sleep little by little as the day approaches. Don’t listen to them. Make the most of every last minute of nighttime revelries. You can sleep when you’re dead. And you’ll be dead tomorrow — Monday — when the alarm clock goes off at six in the morning. I say this from experience. I’ve tried it and this column is posthumous. I loved you very much. READ MORE: Everything That Can Hurt You on the Beach Flirting With a Foreigner The post How to Get Home From Your Vacations (and Die Trying) appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.

In this episode of The Weekend Spectator, Paul Kengor tells the story of Yakob Ravin and his 12-year-old grandson, both Jewish Ukrainian Cold War survivors of communism who personally thanked President Reagan for their liberation. (READ: A Moment of Unity: Reagan United the Country Like No Other) The reaction to the Reagan film today is a lot like the country’s reaction to the man himself 40 years ago. Both now and in Reagan’s day, a handful of leftist elites who are completely out of touch with the American public bash Reagan. As reported by Newsweek and others, public reviews rate the movie at 98 percent approval while it was given 17 percent by film critics — a vast disproportion. Find a theater near you to see the film and watch the full episode of The Weekend Spectator below! READ Paul and Grace’s work here and here. Find every episode of The Weekend Spectator here. Read More: No Breaking Away From Dennis Quaid’s Reagan The Weekend Spectator Ep. 9: Reagan Hits Theaters INTERVIEW: Sam Sorbo on New Film Miracle in East Texas’s Fight Against Woke The post <i>The Weekend Spectator</i> Ep. 10: <i>Reagan</i> Critics Shut Down By Audience appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.

The push to “electrify” everything that rolls is turning out to be a lot like the push to “vaccinate” everyone; both have turned out to have adverse effects. Volkswagen (VW) hasn’t died suddenly — but it is dying. Chief Financial Officer Arno Antlitz, speaking to thousands of maybe soon-to-be ex-VW employees, said VW has “one, maybe two” years to turn things around else there may no longer be a VW. The company is reportedly considering shuttering its plants in Germany — a Hail Mary pass to reduce manufacturing and compliance costs. But moving manufacturing operations to places where it costs less won’t solve VW’s problems because that is not VW’s core problem. (READ MORE: Cars and the Repair Shop Oracle) Its core problem is that it bent the knee to “electrification.” VW Bent Over Backward to Make Amends. That Was the Wrong Move. Put more finely, it bent over backward when it was accused of “cheating” on federal-level emissions certification tests, which the government used to take away VW’s strongest selling point — affordable, high-mileage vehicles. That move crippled it financially by imposing unprecedented fines on the company for selling those vehicles. Specifically, VW’s range of affordable high-mileage diesel-powered vehicles. VW was the only car company selling a lineup of such vehicles, ranging from the $22k TDI Jetta — a family sedan that could travel more than 500 miles on a tank of fuel — to TDI-powered hatchbacks such as the Golf and Beetle as well as the larger Passat sedan. VW sold far more of these than Tesla sold of its $50k EVs, which go maybe 300 miles. (READ MORE: Dear Elon Musk, Cybertrucks Are Ugly) Hence the problem. The affordable, high-mileage cars VW was selling had to go, for much the same reason the safe and effective alternatives to the “vaccines” pushed in 2020 had to be pushed off the stage. Ivermectin was derided as “horse paste.” VW’s TDI diesel engines were derided as “dirty” — not because they polluted in any meaningful way, but because VW had programmed them to pass federal emissions-certification tests. Every car company does this, just as every kid in government schools who wants to pass a history test goes along with the lie that what happened in 1861-1865 was a “civil war” rather than an attempt by the Confederate states to secede from a union-at-gunpoint they no longer wished to be part of. What happened — as regards the federal emissions-certification tests — is that it was “discovered” that VW programmed the software that controlled the operation of its TDI engines to pass the tests. Oh, the humanity! Out in the world, when the driver of a TDI-powered VW floored the accelerator pedal, there was a slight and momentary increase in emissions that exceeded the federally allowable threshold. It was an angels-dancing-on-the-head-of-a-pin difference, and in normal times would have been No Big Deal because it wasn’t one. It became a Very Big Deal because it provided the excuse needed to get rid of the affordable, high-mileage alternatives to the battery-powered vehicles that were just then on the verge of being pushed as hard as the “vaccines” at the height of COVID Fever. VW has never recovered from this — and it is not likely it will ever recover from this. VW Is No Longer the ‘People’s Car’ VW’s brand name stands for people’s car — a kind of tautology for affordable cars — and that is what VW used to sell. It no longer does. Instead, it is trying to sell battery-powered devices such as the ID.4 — which has a base price just shy of $40,000 (and a standard range of just over 200 miles) that escalates from there to just shy of $60,000. On deck is an “electrified” Hippie Bus that only aged and wealthy hippies will be able to afford as it is expected to have a base price of just shy of $60k. (READ MORE: Biden’s Skeptics Will Halt the Next Transportation Revolution) These are not people’s cars. They are affluent people’s cars. And there are only so many of them and for that reason only so many can be sold to them. And that is why VW has “one, maybe two” years left. It is not a luxury car brand that can survive selling far fewer cars to far fewer people at far higher prices. Mercedes and other luxury car brands can do it that way because they are luxury car brands and so — ipso facto — don’t sell many vehicles. VW can’t afford to operate that way because people who have the $50k to spend want a luxury brand for their money. VW trying to sell luxury-priced devices is akin to McDonald’s trying to sell a $15 plant-based Quarter Pounder. Now, some news stories are spinning VW’s woes as arising from union/labor cost woes but this is — to put it bluntly — bullsh*t. The company’s management is bleeding the company to appease the greens. It continues to go along with “electrification,” much as some people continue to get their “boosters.” The company sluiced $5 billion to Rivian — the device manufacturer of $70k-plus electric trucks and SUVs that cost Rivian $30k each to sell — as part of a “partnership” to develop more devices. Hari meet Kari. The ‘State-Mandated’ Supply Chain The same, by the way, is happening to Stellantis, or at least to the Dodge and Chrysler brands owned by Stellantis. They no longer sell the models that Dodge and Chrysler buyers want to buy. They sell hardly anything at the moment. Chrysler is down to just one model — the Pacifica Minivan — and Dodge has nothing to offer other than the Hornet, a small crossover that’s a far cry from a Charger or a Challenger and the leftover Durango, which probably won’t be around for much longer, either. Carlos Tavares, the CEO of Stellantis, said the other day that there is no longer a market for cars; rather there is a “state-imposed supply chain.” The industry manufactures what the government demands, the market be damned. Exactly so. The disease process has entered its terminal stage. These companies haven’t got much time left. Just as was intended by the pushers of “electrification.” Of a piece with what was intended by the pushers of “vaccination.” Behold the results. The post The Imminent Death of VW appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.

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