Welcoming a new baby to the world is a wonderful but daunting experience, and no matter how much you try to prepare, there will always be something you aren't fully prepared for. For many parents, that thing is lack of sleep.You can hear parents talk about exhaustion and sleep deprivation and still be wholly unprepared for what a baby who isn't a great sleeper does to to your psyche. It's no surprise that many parents turn to parenting books and "experts" to try to figure out how to get their babies to sleep, which is where the idea of "sleep training" comes in. Sleep training is a broad term for teaching or training a baby to go to sleep (or back to sleep) without needing to be soothed by a parent or other caregiver. There are many sleep training methods that range from fairly common sense to borderline abuse, which is one reason it seems to spark big debates between parents. Everyone's talking about a different method when they defend or vilify sleep training.Sleep training usually involves letting a baby fuss or cry for some length of time, which some see as problematic because of research on the importance of responding to babies' cries. Others say that a little crying is a small price to pay because it's healthier in the long run for baby and parents to get good sleep. Of course, there's a huge difference between "crying or fussing for a few minutes" and "wailing and screaming with no end in sight," and that's where the big disconnect comes in. For some parents, sleep training entails the former, and it works, so they swear by it. For others, it entails the latter, and it's a nightmare, so they think it's horrible. — (@) There's also a huge difference between "I'd love it if my baby would sleep all night without waking" and "I think I might die if I don't get a 4-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep." Desperation makes many parents who might not love the idea of sleep training to give it a go. I have some personal experience with this. My first baby wasn't a great sleeper. I remember thinking, at six weeks postpartum, "There's no way a person can survive on this little sleep." I adored my baby, but the sleep deprivation from waking up several times a night for weeks on end felt like literal torture. She started sleeping through the night when she was a few months old, but that didn't last long. Teething happened. Then crawling happened. It seemed like just when she'd get into a nice sleep routine, some milestone would throw us right back to waking up and crying multiple times a night. She slept in our room next to our bed, so it was easy enough to nurse her back to sleep, but it was still night after night of disrupted sleep.I was desperate to try something, but I wasn't keen on the idea of sleep training. It's a natural instinct to respond to your baby's cries, so walking away didn't feel right. One book had suggested leaving the baby in their crib to cry by themselves and not pick them up no matter what. If they got so upset that they threw up, you were just to clean them up and do the same thing again. Um, no thank you.But I had heard other parents say they tried different sleep training methods that involved leaving them to cry for just a few minutes, going in to pat/comfort them, leaving them again for a little longer, and going back and forth until they eventually fall asleep. I read so many parents say something like, "It took like 15 minutes of fussing for them to fall asleep the first night, 5 minutes the second and after that they just went right to sleep and didn't wake up until morning!" If only all babies slept this peacefully.Photo by Yan Krukau/PexelsThat sounded reasonable. So I tried it, a couple of times. It went nothing like how those parents described. Not even close.First of all, my baby did not "fuss." It was full-on crying, wailing and screaming with snot and drool involved. Secondly, there was no patting her to calm her down—she would only calm down if I picked her up. Third, the wailing when I left the room didn't ever subside, it only got worse and worse. I felt like I was torturing my baby and it was breaking my mama heart, so we gave it up. I have no doubt that those parents were telling the truth about how sleep training worked with their child. It just absolutely did not work that way with mine. That baby is now 24 and has slept in her own bed all night for over two decades. My other two kids had their own sleep personalities as babies—one of them super easy and the other more like my first. I didn't do anything different to make them that way—it's just how they were. It was hard sometimes. We co-slept as needed. It all worked out in the end. There are a few things I know for sure after parenting three kids and talking with countless other parents: 1) Every baby, child and family is different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another. As long as no one is actually being abused or neglected, do what works for your kid and your family. 2) Anyone who offers definitive, one-size-fits-all advice on any part of parenting is flat-out wrong. One size most definitely does not fit all.3) Sleep is important, but unless you've slept a night in their bed, don't judge a parent for how they choose to handle sleep with their baby. What's right for you may not be right for them.

Would you really want to know how long you have to live? On one hand, it’d probably inspire you to go out and complete your bucket list. On the other, it may be depressing to know just how many days you have left. Well, science has yet to discover a way to determine the average person's life expectancy. However, some indicators can show whether someone is in danger of having their life cut short by deteriorating health. A study published by Clinical Interventions in Aging in 2019 determined that handgrip strength can be a reliable proxy for how long one has to live. One of the best ways to judge handgrip strength is to time how long you can hang from a bar. To test your grip strength, find yourself a pull-up bar, whether at a gym or local park, take a deep breath and start hanging. The study found that 30 seconds is a good target for women and 60 is an excellent goal for men. Therefore, if you go longer than the goal, you’re looking at a long life. But if you can’t quite get there, your life may be shorter than you’d like. Dr. Peter Attia believes that grip strength is a great way to determine one’s overall health. “It's just a great proxy for overall body strength and muscle mass, but I think it's also a very functional form of strength,” he said on “The Drive” podcast. “Basically, everything in your upper body is mediated through your hands. And if your grip is weak, everything Downstream of that is weak. When you watch someone, who's got a weak grip deadlifting. It's very difficult for them to deadlift correctly because they don't create a proper wedge. Doctors Eve M. Glazier and Elizabeth Ko at UCLA Health say poor grip strength is connected to numerous diseases. “Research continues to link a decline in grip strength to a range of adverse health issues, including heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis, Type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. It has also been found to be a predictor of the likelihood of post-surgical complications, post-surgical recovery time and mortality,” they wrote on the UCLA Health blog. Weight can also significantly affect how long a person can hang from a bar. So don’t lighter people have an unfair advantage advantage than those on the heavier side? Well, weight is also an important indicator of longevity. A study published in Aging Cell found a direct correlation between increased body mass and decreased longevity. The good news for people who didn’t quite make their hang time goal is that you can improve it by practicing dead hangs. How to perform a dead hang (according to Healthline): Use a secure overhead bar. Use a step or bench to reach the bar with your arms easily. You don’t want to jump straight into a dead hang.Grip the bar with an overhand grip (palms facing away from you). Aim to keep your arms shoulder-width apart.Move your feet off the step or bench so you’re hanging on to the bar.Keep your arms straight and stay relaxed.If you’re new to the exercise, hang for 10 seconds. Then, work your way up to 45 seconds to 1 minute at a time.Slowly step back onto the step or bench before releasing your arms. Repeat up to 3 times if you wish.

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