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House GOP: Biden 'Unfit' for WH If Mental State Impaired
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House GOP: Biden 'Unfit' for WH If Mental State Impaired

House Republican leadership addressed the special counsel's report on President Joe Biden's mishandling of classified documents‚ blasting the "two-tiered system of justice" but also asserting that the president is "unfit for the Oval Office."
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Watchdog Sues California County for Noncitizen Voter Records
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Watchdog Sues California County for Noncitizen Voter Records

The Public Interest Legal Foundation (PILF) filed a federal lawsuit against Alameda County‚ California‚ for allegedly failing to make noncitizen voting records available.
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US Might Restrict Imports of Chinese 'Smart Cars'
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US Might Restrict Imports of Chinese 'Smart Cars'

The Biden administration is considering restricting imports of Chinese "smart cars" and related components amid growing U.S. concerns about data security‚ Bloomberg News reported on Thursday‚ citing people familiar with the matter.
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Eighth Grader's 'Only Two Genders' Case Heads to Appeal
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Eighth Grader's 'Only Two Genders' Case Heads to Appeal

The battle over a Middleboro‚ Massachusetts‚ middle school student's right to wear a shirt proclaiming "only two genders" took center stage in front of a federal appeals court on Thursday‚ the Boston Herald reported.
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Nikki Haley: Biden Should Take 'Mental Competency Test'
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Nikki Haley: Biden Should Take 'Mental Competency Test'

Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley called for President Joe Biden to take a "mental competency test immediately" in the wake of Thursday's special counsel report that highlighted "significant limitations" with his memory.
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Biden Decries Israel's Gaza Response: 'Over the Top'
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Biden Decries Israel's Gaza Response: 'Over the Top'

President Joe Biden issued a rebuke of Israel's handling of the Gaza situation on Thursday‚ delivering some of his most forceful remarks yet regarding the aftermath of Hamas' terrorist attacks last October‚ reported The Hill.
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CDC: Stressed‚ Depressed Teens Abuse Substances
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CDC: Stressed‚ Depressed Teens Abuse Substances

Teenagers who are being treated for substance abuse cited relief from stress‚ anxiety‚ and depression as the top reasons for using drugs and alcohol‚ a study released Thursday by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showed.
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US‚ Mexico‚ Canada Commit to Expand Firearms Database
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US‚ Mexico‚ Canada Commit to Expand Firearms Database

The United States‚ Mexico and Canada have committed to expand use of the U.S. ATF firearms tracing database to better investigate illicit arms trafficking across North America‚ the White House said in a joint statement on Thursday.
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Nev. Republicans Wait in Long Lines to Caucus for Trump
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Nev. Republicans Wait in Long Lines to Caucus for Trump

Even though Donald Trump was expected to easily win Nevada's Republican caucuses Thursday‚ his supporters waited in long lines to get their chance to cast their votes for the former president. At one caucus site at a Reno-area elementary school‚ a line of nearly 1‚000 people ...
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
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BREAKING: Special counsel will not indict Biden because he’s ‘too braindead to stand trial’
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BREAKING: Special counsel will not indict Biden because he’s ‘too braindead to stand trial’

WASHINGTON‚ DC—Special Counsel Robert Hur has officially exonerated President* Joe Biden of any wrongdoing‚ citing his alleged braindead state as grounds for incapacity to stand trial. In a press conference that felt more like a scene from a surreal comedy sketch‚ Hur solemnly declared‚ “After extensive investigation and careful consideration‚ we have determined that President* Biden’s cognitive state renders him unfit to face trial for any alleged offenses‚ so he’s innocent.” The announcement sent shockwaves through Washington‚ with pundits and politicians alike struggling to make sense of the bewildering logic behind the decision. “It’s like something out of a dystopian novel‚” remarked one baffled observer. “How can someone be deemed too mentally incapacitated to stand trial‚ yet still be deemed fit to hold the highest office in the land?” The Special Counsel’s report‚ which spans thousands of pages and is filled with legal jargon that would make even the most seasoned attorney’s head spin‚ attempts to justify the decision by cataloguing a litany of Biden’s mental lapses and gaffes. “From forgetting the names of world leaders to wandering aimlessly around the White House grounds‚ President Biden’s cognitive decline is nothing short of alarming‚” the report concludes. “As such‚ it would be grossly unjust to subject him to the rigors of a trial.” Critics have been quick to condemn the decision as a blatant case of political favoritism‚ arguing that if Biden is truly unfit to stand trial‚ then he should also be deemed unfit to hold the presidency. “This is a textbook example of double standards‚” declared one outspoken lawmaker. “If President Biden lacks the mental capacity to face justice‚ then how can he possibly be trusted to make crucial decisions for the country?” In response to the mounting criticism‚ the White House issued a terse statement reiterating its unwavering support for President Biden. “President Biden is a strong and capable leader who is fully capable of carrying out his duties as president‚” the statement read. “Any insinuation to the contrary is simply absurd and unfounded.” As the controversy continues to unfold‚ one thing is abundantly clear: the question of Biden’s mental fitness will remain a hotly debated topic for the foreseeable future. Whether he’s fit to stand trial may remain a matter of opinion‚ but one thing is certain: the absurdity of American politics has reached new heights. The post BREAKING: Special counsel will not indict Biden because he’s ‘too braindead to stand trial’ appeared first on Genesius Times.
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