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What Happened To Your Hair? – Book Review
In 1990, I was in Portland, Oregon, visiting a friend. I read in the local paper that a band I worked with in the past was in town for a gig. Should we check out? Why not. So, I made a phone call to the drummer, who told me he’d leave a pair of tickets at will call. “Get there early because we’re on first,” he advised me. They were opening for a new group on the rise called NELSON and it was sold out.
After watching the opener’s set, we went backstage to pay our respects before venturing back out into the theater for the main attraction. I knew absolutely nothing about NELSON aside from the fact that they were headed up by the twin sons of rock pioneer Ricky Nelson. By the looks of it, they had a massive female following, very much on the young side.
My friend and I felt a bit out of place, and in a few minutes, it became apparent why. The lights went down, and NELSON emerged with brothers Matthew and Gunnar out front, their long flaxen hair glowing in the lights. The place erupted with prepubescent screams. We looked at each other and agreed: it was time for us to leave.
Flash forward to 2024 and I was aboard the On The Blue cruise enroute to the Bahamas. Among the schedule acts were Matthew and Gunnar Nelson performing a tribute to their dad. I decided to check them out and was pleasantly surprised by how good they were. Like so many, I didn’t realize there was something more to the family name and the blonde locks — which they still have to a lesser degree.
I suspect one of the reasons the Nelson brothers decided to write their memoir What Happened To Your Hair? was to dispel the many preconceived notions people like me have about them. Four hundred pages later, and your own hair may well be standing up on end.
On the surface, Matthew and Gunnar Nelson could be characterized as trust-fund babies, poster children for nepotism, heirs to great and grand fortunes. Afterall, their dad co-starred, along with his parents Ozzie and Harriet and brother David, on The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet, a wildly successful, long-running sitcom of the 1950s and 60s. Together, the Nelsons were revered as “America’s family,” a “family that could be trusted.” Once you read through the achievements of not only Ozzie and Harriet, but also those of Matthew and Gunnar’s maternal grandparents, Heisman Trophy winner Tom Harmon and actress Elyse Knox, you’d think these boys hit the gene pool lottery and were meant for acclaimed celebrity greatness in every way possible. If only it were that easy.
The book is broken down into three acts: Before The Rain, A Perfect Storm, and After The Rain. The weather metaphor applies as much to their life as much as it cleverly lifts its third act’s title from the brothers’ multi-platinum 1990 debut album. Rain or shine, the Nelson brothers dodged any number of obstacles.
Each chapter is written by either Matthew or Gunnar (they share a handful of chapters), though Gunnar takes on the lion’s share. In fact, Matthew doesn’t pipe in until the New Year’s Eve chapter, which vividly captures two somewhat differing memories of the night in 1985 when their father, along with six others, perished in a plane crash just outside of Dallas.
In the first act, Before The Rain, you immediately get the sense that the Nelson brothers were subjected to a series of incredible highs and lows during their formative years. Gunnar, in particular, has the wit and writing chops to move the narrative forward during this period. His brutal honesty is brimming with humor, confidence, and a smidge of self-deprecation to keep it real. His development as a musician — a drummer who became a guitar player and lead singer — is almost as fascinating as his and his brother’s childhood. Almost.
Their childhood was idyllic in some ways. Growing up in Laurel Canyon, Gunnar proudly names Bob Dylan, George Harrison, and Cass Elliot as friends, neighbors, and babysitters. Later on, he talks about meeting Paul McCartney and Prince under glowing circumstances. Coming up in this environment and seeing their dad perform helped to fuel their musical ambitions.
EXCLUSIVE: Gunnar Nelson talks about ‘What Happened To Your Hair?’
The downside to all this were their parents and a very troubled marriage. Dad Rick Nelson was this famous personality and musician constantly on the road with seemingly good intentions…and access to the usual sundry of privileges, pleasures, and bad decisions that come with celebrity. Mom Kristen Harmon was initially cast as the perfect paramour to beloved Ricky. She channeled her frustrations as the wife of a teen diol by becoming a promiscuous alcoholic with an artistic streak who squandered away too much of her husband’s earnings. Her younger brother, actor Mark Harmon, called her an “unfit” mother. Gunnar takes a more clinical approach, calling her a “vindictive narcissist.” As the middle children, the twins were caught in the crossfire of their parents’ self-absorbed indulgences and neglect. Which is why Gunnar suggests he and Matthew were “raised by wolves.”
Even as the ‘War of the Roses’ escalated at home, the boys did manage times of normalcy as Southern California teenagers growing up in the 1970s and 80s. They became avid skateboarders and rode Schwin Stingrays. The plot begins to thicken once the music business becomes their focus. Forget the Nelson name; the struggle was real.
In the midst of playing LA clubs and trying to gain a foothold, the night of Rick Nelson’s passing and its aftermath brings both Matthew and Gunnar’s emotions to the fore. Reading separate accounts says a lot about how close they are amidst disparate reactions and responses to the situation.
Later, as the book points out, they found out their father was broke at the time of his death. “How’s that for trust fund kids?” Gunnar asks. A few paragraphs later, he reminds us that the book isn’t about “wallowing in the pain” of his father’s demise; it’s about “rising out of the ashes of your fire-gutted old life and making your new life your bitch.”
That’s exactly what happened when the wheels of success started turning for Matthew and Gunnar Nelson. Having witnessed the band at presumably the height of their success, I would have thought they were swimming in profits and taking the Nelson legacy to new, unexplored peaks. With a few key TV appearances and the rakish power of Geffen Records, NELSON made their mark. In the process, they were subjected to endless pawning and promises while a new movement called Grunge quickly unseated them from their short-lived throne. It only gets uglier from there.
Still, there were some incredible moments during NELSON’s brief reign as rock gods, and both brothers share those with a tone of triumph and challenge. In the middle Act II: A Perfect Storm, Matthew recalls in the “Valley Girl” chapter just how rabid the Nelson fan base was. Specifically, he goes back to NELSON’s appearance at the Sherman Oaks Galleria where thousands of screaming teenage girls gathered to catch a glimpse, get an autograph, and, if possible, a piece of them. An all-out riot broke out and the band made a quick escape. “That day, with thousands of girls screaming for us, I knew we were in for it,” he notes after explaining how they had no idea what was awaiting them, later adding: “Gunnar and I were now human catnip for a million kitty cats.”
What with everything else including budgeting videos, writing and recording more music, touring, sickness, paying off debts, and trying to make ends meet, the adulation was almost meaningless. Almost.
The one thing you can’t deny is the genuine appreciation both Matthew and Gunnar have for those who loved them (their fans), as well as those who helped and supported them. At the same time, they’re not shy about sharing disdain for those who stood in their way. Not so much bitterness as it is a few choice matter-of-fact expletives as a form of circumspect closure. Various collaborators, record executives, and a couple of well-known musicians all catch a dose of their venom. Ex-wives get a couple of blank pages. Their parents get their own chapters examining the whys, hows, and what ifs of their relationships.
You could say that Act III: After The Rain addresses the axiomatic equation of “Whatever happened NELSON?” Out of step with Seattle, label chief David Geffen summarily declared the group as “over.” Other promising record deals that followed fell flat. They finally took things into their own hands by forming their own label and establishing the long-running Ricky Nelson Remembered show. Those rays of sunshine reinforce Matthew and Gunnar Nelson’s perseverance, determined positivity, and sense of humor, which never wavers throughout the book.
This is not your garden-variety rock and roll tragedy. This is more about correcting a false perception, changing assumptions, countering misappropriations. Matthew and Gunnar Nelson faced off a litany of family, financial, personal and career issues, and came out on the other side with a smile, an ongoing career as recording and touring musicians, families of their own…and their hair no less blonde yet slightly shorter.
What Happened To Your Hair? is therapy, an emollient in enabling the Nelsons to at last find peace with the weight of their family’s legacy and their place in it. For the rest of us, it offers clarity into what happens when you look like “a pair of hot Swedish chicks” with a famous namesake, a record deal, a smack in the face, and an indomitable spirit to succeed.
~ Shawn Perry
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What Happened To Your Hair?
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