A wedding planner on TikTok claims that she can predict whether a couple will get divorced by noticing subtle clues during the wedding planning and ceremony. These minor problems are red flags that point to larger, more profound issues happening with the couple. While it may seem like these reasons are signs of unavoidable doom, they can also act as a warning for couples everywhere: if these signs appear in your relationship, get help.“I can tell a bride and groom that's going to get divorced before they even get married,” Robin Yarusso says in a TikTok video. “So I've planned like 100 weddings and probably like 25, 30 proposals, and there are certain things that happen that I've seen time and time again with my brides and grooms that have divorced later on.” @birdie1216 Signs that the marriage will fail during wedding planning #wedding #weddingplanning 1. Cake smash equals catastrophe“If you smash cake, I don't know what it represents, but for some reason, none of my brides and grooms that did that are still together,” Yarusso says in the video. Yarusso told TODAY.com that if the couple "didn't agree on it, didn’t discuss it, or if one said ‘no’ and it still happens, then it’s disrespectful. If the bride looks upset, like ‘Oh my gosh,’ and you didn’t want that to happen—I haven’t had a single couple survive that.”Kevin Thompson, a pastor who has done countless weddings, says that when one person shoves the cake in the other's face unexpectedly, it shows four questionable characteristics: pride, force, revenge, and contempt. All of these characteristics don’t bode well for a happy marriage. 2. Sneaky expenditures“So if I have a bride that's calling me on the side, being like, 'Let's add this to the flowers. Don't tell Jim. Let's do that.' Don't. The don't-tells, those. Those people end up getting divorced,” Yarusso says in the video.When a bride or groom makes secret financial arrangements behind the other’s back, it says two terrible things: they disagree on money—a major predictor of divorce—and that they can’t be trusted. If they’re lying about money, what else are they being dishonest about? A bride is crying at her wedding.via Canva/Photos 3. Pushy mother-in-laws are a curse“If your mother or the groom's mother, the bride's mother, whichever one it is, if that mother is overstepping where she shouldn't and her child doesn't check her, it usually leads to problems in the marriage,” Yarusso says in the video.Toxic family members can put a significant strain on relationships. When spouses can't balance their home life with their outside family, trouble is bound to happen.4. Incompetent, uncaring husband“And then last is the husband who doesn't care about the wedding," Yarusso says in the video. "And I don't mean like, ‘Oh, honey, it's your big day, you pick whatever flowers you want.’ I mean, his one job was to pick the DJ, and we're a week before the wedding, and he hasn't gotten that done. That husband is completely checked out.” When one partner doesn’t carry their own weight, that puts an undue burden on the other, which can lead to powerful resentment, and eventually, divorce. A couple with a "Just Married" sign. via Canva/Photos Sometimes, minor disagreements that people have before they’ve taken the plunge can magnify greatly shortly thereafter, either due to a change in the nature of the relationship or the revealing power of time. So, it’s best for couples looking to get married to take Yarusso’s words seriously. She may not be a therapist, but she’s seen how couples work together first-hand, and nothing puts a stress test on a marriage quite like a wedding. If you’re experiencing problems on the road to saying, “I do,” chances are they may get worse after the cake is in the freezer and the dress is put in storage.

We often think of police officers as the people who enforce laws, arrest suspects, and generally deal with the criminal element of society. But many of the people the police come into contact with aren't criminals. Sometimes they're victims. Sometimes they're people in crisis. When officers respond to a service call, they often find people on their worst day during a difficult time. Ideally, officers are trained to help connect community members with services that can help them, but people often have other needs that are practical, material, and immediate. Financial struggle can compound whatever else is going on, and officers often find themselves either at a loss to help or dipping into their own pockets to meet a small need they know they can do something about. See on Instagram It was a San Diego police officer's act of compassion—buying a snack for a hungry neighborhood child shortly before being shot and killed in 2011—that inspired Brian Spracklen to ask, "What if every officer had the resources to offer similar kindness in moments of vulnerability?" Four years later in Kennewick, Washington, Police Chief Ken Hohenberg (an old friend of Spracklen's) launched a program with the support of community leaders to provide exactly those resources, funded by donations from the local community. That initiative had a profound effect on police-community relations in Kennewick. Officers were able to perform random acts of kindness like buying diapers for a struggling mom, replacing a critical tool that had been stolen, or meeting other essential needs to make someone's situation just a little bit easier. Those acts of compassion help foster greater trust with the community, leading to increased cooperation, improved communication, and enhanced public safety. See on Instagram The success of that pilot program spread. Today, Spracklen and Hohenberg run BlueBridge Alliance, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that currently partners with 58 police departments across Washington state. BlueBridge's goals are simple:To relieve suffering by providing immediate, on-the-spot, short-term assistance to those in urgent need.To strengthen (and where necessary, restore) mutual trust and respect between the police and the members of the community they serve.To boost police morale and renew officers’ service ethos, leading to improved recruitment and retention.The way it works is simple as well. Each officer is provided a debit card with a certain amount of funds (say, $100 a month) that they can use at their discretion as they see needs arise in their daily work in the community. The continual flow of funds is raised locally, giving the whole community an opportunity help out their neighbors when they need a "hand-up." On-the-spot aid may sometimes be a band-aid for a bigger issue, but as we all know, a band-aid is a big relief when you really need one See on Instagram Though some people believe that it's not a police officer's job to buy someone a bus ticket or groceries to get them through the week, the reality is that the police are often right there on the ground, face-to-face with people in need. Giving officers a way to "serve and protect" in material ways is an efficient method of meeting people's immediate needs, not to mention a means for one human to help another. "It might be surprising for many people to know that most police aren’t out to 'bust' people for doing things," Spracklen tells Upworthy. "They typically get into their profession because they want to help people out. And, most people they have contact with are good people having a bad day or experiencing a rough spot. Our program provides them a tool that can help 'bridge' a gap between what’s needed right now and connecting them with resources that can help them longer-term. This builds trust, improves public safety, and saves money in criminal justice costs to the public."Here's one example of the initiative in action shared by an officer in Pullman, Washington:"I came in contact with a military veteran approximately 80 years old, who was seeking help due to the heat in his apartment not working. The male had made a complaint to the property management and had a work order to be created for the repair of the heat in his apartment unit, though it had not been completed before the weekend. The male had attempted to call the afterhours number for the property and called the Community Action Center, who oversees the apartments he lives in. The male told me he was cold, and did not have the funds to purchase a heater while he waited for the property management to fix his. The male told he had metal plates in his leg due to being in the military and was struggling in the cold. At the time of contact with the male, it was approximately 40 degrees outside with a cold breeze. The male had two more days until it was business hours again to attempt to reach management about the heat again. I attempted to call them myself and was unable to speak with anyone. I then decided to purchase the male a space heater for his apartment until his heating could be fixed. The male was surprised when I arrived with a heater in hand but immediately thanked me for getting one. It was not his fault the management did not fix the heater before ending their workweek, and it felt good to help someone make it through the weekend without being cold." - Officer A. St. Andre See on Instagram Naturally, there are questions about accountability. When officers use the card, they upload their receipts to the BlueBridge system and fill out a report, which provides information about how the funds were used as well as demographic data that helps inform the program. There's also a way to anonymously report a misuse of funds through the BlueBridge website. The heart of the program is compassion, but hard data plays a big role in the program's success. Spracklen says BlueBridge Alliance was founded almost like a tech startup. "We are always looking at metrics, and learning and improving from them—it’s a never-ending cycle," he says, adding that there are unique challenges to getting non-profit efforts off the ground compared to for-profit companies: "There’s a fundraising paradox for nonprofits: The smaller you are, the more expensive it is to obtain funds that are desperately needed. And, you can’t afford to fundraise much when you’re trying to spend people’s donations to achieve your organization's goals for doing good." It costs around $5,000 to get a new community set up with the program. Though BlueBridge Alliance is currently only partnering with precincts in Washington state, there are expansion plans in the pipeline. "We have over 100 law enforcement agencies across the country on our expansion list who are clamoring for a program," says Spracklen. "We’re trying to obtain the funding to get them started up. We found that once started, communities overwhelmingly support their local programs through donations, but it’s the initial hard costs of getting the program started that’s a challenge."People can donate to the general BlueBridge Alliance mission here, and Washington residents can search for their local departments' funds here.

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from Moonbattery: Crime in Chicago was out of control even before Brandon Johnson was elected mayor on a pro-crime Black Lives Matter platform. Voters are getting what they asked for. During a press conference last Tuesday he left grammar behind as he sputtered that “Jails and incarceration and law enforcement is a sickness.” Johnson looks crazy enough to […]