When I was a college student, I had a weird relationship with the concept of “home.” As I approached the end of a semester, I longed to go back home to my parents’ house for break. I looked forward to the familiarity, the family, and the rest. After some time at my parents’ house, though, that longing for home would return. My sense of home had shifted from my parents’ house to my college dorm or apartment. I now longed for the freedom, the friends, and the sense of purpose my classes and clubs brought. So I’d go back. And the cycle would repeat. What an odd experience. A continual process of looking forward to a home that, on my arrival, didn’t live up to my expectations and gave way to a desire to return to a different home. I hope this doesn’t sound melodramatic. I loved my time in college and I loved visiting family over breaks. I treasure memories of both. But neither fully satisfied the desire that’d creep into my heart. Home was a distinct desire but had ceased to be a distinct location. Home was a distinct desire but had ceased to be a distinct location. As I’ve talked with students over the years, I’ve realized my experience isn’t unique. For many, going home over breaks can be challenging. If you’re a student about to head back home for the summer, here are four ways to help you face the difficulties. 1. Moderate your expectations. Summer break is just around the corner. You’re tired; you’re stressed; exams are looming—so it’s easy to imagine break as a carefree paradise. A place where all wrongs will be made right and life will finally be peaceful again. I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea. Here’s the problem: your summer break will probably not live up to your stress-fueled expectations. Sure, there’ll be great moments. But there’ll also be frustrations, loneliness, and boredom. If you’re a freshman, you’ll likely discover you and your parents must both learn to adjust to new patterns and expectations of each other now you’re used to managing your own schedule at college. This process is rarely without friction. (Maybe you’re the exception, and summer break ends up being everything you’re dreaming it’ll be. But this just means your disappointment will come at the end when you have to leave.) I sometimes joke that the secret to happiness is low expectations. That’s overstated, but what if the secret to enjoying summer break is reasonable expectations? Acknowledge you may be expecting more from a few months at your parents’ house than it can provide. This will free you to enjoy the great parts without being crushed by the hard parts. 2. Watch out for old behavior patterns. I’m 37 and I have three children. Even so, when I walk into my childhood home, part of me reverts to my 15-year-old self. I’ll feel tempted to be argumentative with my mom or to leave dishes on the counter after a meal. Maybe I’ll feel an urge to lay on the couch and watch TV all afternoon. You may be expecting more from a couple months at your parents’ house than it can provide. You may not be my age, but you’ve grown and changed a lot since you went to college. This is true even if you’re a freshman. There’s something about the independence of college that causes you to mature quickly (if unevenly)—especially if you’ve been involved in a college ministry that has helped you grow in your faith. Maybe you’ve experienced victory over unhealthy habits or sin patterns during the last year. Maybe you’ve stopped looking at porn, or started going to the gym, or started having quiet times. Returning to a previous place can spark a kind of remission. Old environments resurrect old habits. How can you combat this tendency? A solid game plan and lots of prayer help. But my next tip is perhaps the most important way to guard against old behavior patterns. 3. Stay connected. I often talk to students who are surprised it was difficult to walk with Jesus and resist sin patterns while they were away. When someone is taken away from his or her Christian community, remaining faithful gets a lot harder. The New Testament tells us to expect this. It’s why the author of Hebrews admonishes us not to neglect meeting together (Heb. 10:25). It’s why Paul compares the church to a human body that “builds itself up in love” (Eph. 4:16). The Christian life is a community life. We were never designed to do it on our own. At college, you’ve been building a vibrant community around you, hopefully in the context of a healthy church. This has probably fast-forwarded your spiritual growth. Don’t be surprised when stepping away for a month or two causes you to take a step backward. The Christian life is a community life. We were never designed to do it on our own. To be clear, there’s no excuse to sin. You’re still responsible for your actions before God. But don’t enter the fight on your own. Bring your college community with you. Plan to have regular Zoom calls with housemates or with Bible study or church friends for mutual encouragement and accountability. If some of your college friends live close enough, see them over break. At the very least, set up a group chat to share struggles and joys. Most importantly, connect to a church in your hometown. If you grew up in the church, this is an opportunity to reconnect with the people who encouraged you as you grew up—and have been praying for you while you were gone. If you didn’t grow up in church, make it a mission to find a solid local church to invest in while you’re home. Don’t fall into the trap of believing a summer isn’t long enough to benefit from (and be a benefit to) a church home. 4. Remember your ultimate home. In Hebrews 11, as the author recalls Old Testament saints who spent their lives following God, he singles out Abraham and Sarah. Their following wasn’t merely spiritual but rather a literal constant change of location: For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. (vv. 14–16) Did you catch it? Abraham and Sarah spent their lives longing for home. But strangely, returning to the place where they grew up wouldn’t have fulfilled that longing. This sounds like my college experience of never feeling fully at home—whether I was at my parents’ house or at school. Why? Because our desire for a home was never supposed to be fully satisfied here. What is home other than the place where we truly belong, are truly loved, and can truly rest? If we think we can find that in a physical location, we’ll always be disappointed. For Abraham and Sarah and for all followers of Jesus Christ, our ultimate home is with him, the only One who offers true belonging, love, and rest. When you get home for break, it may not meet your expectations. If so, you’re in good company with the cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 11. May the longing remind you to look to Jesus, your true home.

I vividly remember taking my youngest daughter to a zoo when she was about 20 months old and telling her, “When we walk around this next corner, you’re going to see the biggest land animal in the whole world!” We stepped past the trees, and there was an elephant right in front of us, with its trunk raised in salute. My daughter’s eyes grew wide with amazement, admiration, and maybe a little fear as she pointed in wordless wonder at the gigantic creature. “Guess what?” my husband said to her. “God is even more awesome than that.” There are a million ways to point young kids to God. Every day is full of opportunities. But how can we take it a step further and help them begin to understand the gospel? Here are five general principles that worked for my husband and me as we raised our five kids through the little years. 1. Read the Word. Long before preschoolers can read the Bible on their own, we can introduce them to God’s Word. Children can memorize Scripture, especially if the words are set to music or accompanied by hand motions. Little ones may not comprehend all they recite, but they’re still hiding the Word in their hearts (Ps. 119:11). The Bible contains exciting stories in addition to words of truth and life. Baby Moses in the river, Daniel in the lion’s den, and the birth of Christ are all gripping narratives for kids. Picture books can be excellent resources for accessible Bible stories and theology, but don’t shy away from reading stories straight from the Bible (just review the gruesome bits beforehand!). Your audience may not understand the context of Israelite history or the covenantal arc, but as Paul explained, “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). Even young children can learn to love God’s Word in a way that prepares them to seek it out on their own as they grow. Don’t shy away from reading stories straight from the Bible. 2. Look at the world. The heavens declare the glory of God, and our little ones’ eyes are wide open to see that glory all around them. We can talk about God as Creator when we look at the varieties of fish at the pet store or flowers in a garden or flavors in our spice cabinet. We can talk about God’s care when we see a bird find a seed or when the sun rises beautifully every morning. Even in the hard or dangerous parts of nature, we can talk about God’s plan for the world, how it was broken, and how it’ll be redeemed. The story of God’s goodness is unfolding all around us, and our kids are asking us all the time to translate it into a language they can understand because God has given them wonder and curiosity about his world. As we discuss the world with our kids, we can teach them the gospel through the lens of creation, fall, redemption, and consummation (even if we don’t use all those big words right away). 3. Teach the law. While narratives in the Bible may seem like the most natural fit for young kids, teaching the law is also important, and it involves at least two parts. The first part is teaching what God’s Word says about right and wrong. We can tell our kids, as many parents do, that the Bible says to treat others the way we want to be treated (Luke 6:31). Teachings like this do much more than simply help children learn how to live together; they also reveal God’s standards for sin and righteousness. Those are valuable lessons in a world that often encourages us to redefine right and wrong, deceiving ourselves into thinking we’re doing fine. Jesus says in Luke 5:31–32 that the sick are the ones who know they need a doctor. The law teaches us we’re unwell. The second part is teaching that actions have consequences. However your family decides to lovingly enforce boundaries, consistently keeping your word and following through with just consequences can show children biblical truths about goodness, righteousness, and justice. Parenting includes encouraging our kids and talking to them about their inherent worth as people created by God in his image. But when we also lovingly teach them about sin through God’s Word and through consequences, we not only give them practical wisdom for living but lay a foundation for them to understand the gospel. If children don’t come to see themselves as sinners who’ve broken God’s law and justly deserve punishment, they also won’t understand their need for Christ. 4. Explain grace. As children grow in their understanding of the law, they’re more prepared to comprehend the overwhelming value of grace. But we need to clearly explain grace to them. Kids may hear cultural references to “saying grace” before a meal or “giving yourself grace” when you mess up. We need to explain that grace means we all deserve just punishment, but God loved us so much he took our punishment on himself. When we talk to our children about God’s law or about sin or about the brokenness of the world around us, we have natural openings to teach them about grace. We can tell them only God is perfect in goodness and love, which is why salvation can only come through Jesus. We can plan for these conversations and carefully consider how we’ll explain the gospel. One mom told me she wrote out the gospel in a few bullet points using language her young daughters could understand, and then she repeated those points over and over to them on different occasions. 5. Live it out. Many Christians can point back to the prayers and faithfulness of adults who took them to church, shared the truth, and loved them well when they were children. You have the incredible, intimidating opportunity to show the children in your life what God’s love is like by loving them with patience, forbearance, creativity, faithfulness, and joy. But praise God, we can still share the gospel even when—perhaps especially when—we inevitably mess up. You can show the children you love what it looks like to fail, to ask for forgiveness, and to walk in repentance with the Lord, by his grace. Praise God, we can still share the gospel even when—perhaps especially when—we inevitably mess up. Jesus commanded us to “make disciples of all nations” (Matt. 28:19). We have the amazing privilege of living out that command in our homes and churches when we share the gospel with our little ones. Many of us train extensively to evangelize strangers, and we shouldn’t take for granted the opportunities to share the gospel with the small people in our lives. Jesus invites children to come to him—consider how you can help them along the way.

When I was a college student, I had a weird relationship with the concept of “home.” As I approached the end of a semester, I longed to go back home to my parents’ house for break. I looked forward to the familiarity, the family, and the rest. After some time at my parents’ house, though, that longing for home would return. My sense of home had shifted from my parents’ house to my college dorm or apartment. I now longed for the freedom, the friends, and the sense of purpose my classes and clubs brought. So I’d go back. And the cycle would repeat. What an odd experience. A continual process of looking forward to a home that, on my arrival, didn’t live up to my expectations and gave way to a desire to return to a different home. I hope this doesn’t sound melodramatic. I loved my time in college and I loved visiting family over breaks. I treasure memories of both. But neither fully satisfied the desire that’d creep into my heart. Home was a distinct desire but had ceased to be a distinct location. Home was a distinct desire but had ceased to be a distinct location. As I’ve talked with students over the years, I’ve realized my experience isn’t unique. For many, going home over breaks can be challenging. If you’re a student about to head back home for the summer, here are four ways to help you face the difficulties. 1. Moderate your expectations. Summer break is just around the corner. You’re tired; you’re stressed; exams are looming—so it’s easy to imagine break as a carefree paradise. A place where all wrongs will be made right and life will finally be peaceful again. I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea. Here’s the problem: your summer break will probably not live up to your stress-fueled expectations. Sure, there’ll be great moments. But there’ll also be frustrations, loneliness, and boredom. If you’re a freshman, you’ll likely discover you and your parents must both learn to adjust to new patterns and expectations of each other now you’re used to managing your own schedule at college. This process is rarely without friction. (Maybe you’re the exception, and summer break ends up being everything you’re dreaming it’ll be. But this just means your disappointment will come at the end when you have to leave.) I sometimes joke that the secret to happiness is low expectations. That’s overstated, but what if the secret to enjoying summer break is reasonable expectations? Acknowledge you may be expecting more from a few months at your parents’ house than it can provide. This will free you to enjoy the great parts without being crushed by the hard parts. 2. Watch out for old behavior patterns. I’m 37 and I have three children. Even so, when I walk into my childhood home, part of me reverts to my 15-year-old self. I’ll feel tempted to be argumentative with my mom or to leave dishes on the counter after a meal. Maybe I’ll feel an urge to lay on the couch and watch TV all afternoon. You may be expecting more from a couple months at your parents’ house than it can provide. You may not be my age, but you’ve grown and changed a lot since you went to college. This is true even if you’re a freshman. There’s something about the independence of college that causes you to mature quickly (if unevenly)—especially if you’ve been involved in a college ministry that has helped you grow in your faith. Maybe you’ve experienced victory over unhealthy habits or sin patterns during the last year. Maybe you’ve stopped looking at porn, or started going to the gym, or started having quiet times. Returning to a previous place can spark a kind of remission. Old environments resurrect old habits. How can you combat this tendency? A solid game plan and lots of prayer help. But my next tip is perhaps the most important way to guard against old behavior patterns. 3. Stay connected. I often talk to students who are surprised it was difficult to walk with Jesus and resist sin patterns while they were away. When someone is taken away from his or her Christian community, remaining faithful gets a lot harder. The New Testament tells us to expect this. It’s why the author of Hebrews admonishes us not to neglect meeting together (Heb. 10:25). It’s why Paul compares the church to a human body that “builds itself up in love” (Eph. 4:16). The Christian life is a community life. We were never designed to do it on our own. At college, you’ve been building a vibrant community around you, hopefully in the context of a healthy church. This has probably fast-forwarded your spiritual growth. Don’t be surprised when stepping away for a month or two causes you to take a step backward. The Christian life is a community life. We were never designed to do it on our own. To be clear, there’s no excuse to sin. You’re still responsible for your actions before God. But don’t enter the fight on your own. Bring your college community with you. Plan to have regular Zoom calls with housemates or with Bible study or church friends for mutual encouragement and accountability. If some of your college friends live close enough, see them over break. At the very least, set up a group chat to share struggles and joys. Most importantly, connect to a church in your hometown. If you grew up in the church, this is an opportunity to reconnect with the people who encouraged you as you grew up—and have been praying for you while you were gone. If you didn’t grow up in church, make it a mission to find a solid local church to invest in while you’re home. Don’t fall into the trap of believing a summer isn’t long enough to benefit from (and be a benefit to) a church home. 4. Remember your ultimate home. In Hebrews 11, as the author recalls Old Testament saints who spent their lives following God, he singles out Abraham and Sarah. Their following wasn’t merely spiritual but rather a literal constant change of location: For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. (vv. 14–16) Did you catch it? Abraham and Sarah spent their lives longing for home. But strangely, returning to the place where they grew up wouldn’t have fulfilled that longing. This sounds like my college experience of never feeling fully at home—whether I was at my parents’ house or at school. Why? Because our desire for a home was never supposed to be fully satisfied here. What is home other than the place where we truly belong, are truly loved, and can truly rest? If we think we can find that in a physical location, we’ll always be disappointed. For Abraham and Sarah and for all followers of Jesus Christ, our ultimate home is with him, the only One who offers true belonging, love, and rest. When you get home for break, it may not meet your expectations. If so, you’re in good company with the cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 11. May the longing remind you to look to Jesus, your true home.

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