As the old saying goes, whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and in many ways, that holds true when life teaches harsh lessons. It can be painful to learn things are more complicated than we thought and that people will disappoint us. But when we accept the ugly truths of life, we appreciate the beautiful things even more.Taking these realizations to heart can also prevent us from having to learn them a second time. The sad thing is that many of the most challenging life lessons have to be learned through experience. Someone can tell you who to avoid or that life comes at you fast, but most of us have to learn these things first-hand.A Redditor who goes by Professional-Can8235 asked the AskReddit forum, “What is the harshest truth you’ve ever learned?” and people shared how they realized that life wasn’t all lollipops and rainbows. However, they also discussed how coming to these lessons helped them become stronger people.Here are 14 of the best responses to “What is the harshest truth you’ve ever learned?”1. Love doesn't conquer all"Even if you treat someone really well and you both love each other, it doesn’t always end like a Hollywood movie. Sometimes there are too many obstacles."2. Sometimes you can't win"You can do everything right, give something 100% effort, follow all the rules and still fail."3. Hard work isn't always rewarded"Being the hardest worker will not always equate to you being the one rewarded or recognized for accomplishments.""I was always warned by my grandfather that from a corporate point of view that to make yourself irreplaceable could oftentimes make you unpromotable... Because the powers that be would rather have you keep going than wait for someone else to learn a role already being filled."4. Don't fall in love with potential"Learned this the hard way. I crossed my own personal boundaries just because I was holding on to a person’s potential. Never again.""It kind of goes back to the saying, 'When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.'"5. You can't make someone love you"Loving someone unconditionally and being willing to do anything for them doesn't mean that they will feel the same way about you.""You can’t love someone into loving you back."6. Organizations are made of people"Every organization, no matter how lauded, how aspirational, how trusted, is still at the end of the day comprised of very fallible humans.""And in the end, they almost always end up subverting the purpose for which they were formed."7. Life is short"You grow up hearing this over and over again but until you reach a certain age you don’t have the perspective to fully grasp this.""The age that I felt the oldest was 25. After that, it just became a number. The number changes, but inside, the person's self-image does not. Throughout life, old is always 10 years older than you are now."8. Nice guys finish last"Sometimes the nicest people just seem to get fu**ed over by the universe through no fault of their own.""Conversely, sometimes the a**holes inherit the earth and you can't do anything about it."9. You never realize a "last" when it's happening"A big one for me is how many 'last times' you'll have, and how often you won't realize it's a last time. Things can change so fast. Go bowling every Monday? Have a convention you and your friends go to yearly? Hang out regularly with the same people? One day is going to be the last time it happens, and almost without fail, you will not know. Then you go days without talking to someone, then weeks, then months, then one day you realize that you aren't really friends anymore. No major fallout, just your lives are no longer compatible."10. Everyone is forgotten"No matter what you have or what you do, you will be essentially forgotten after a few generations."11. Nobody is worrying about you"Stop worrying what others think, most people are so caught up in themselves they barely know anyone else exists. Don't let your ego convince you that anyone gives a rat's ass about what you're doing. Of the few out there that do care, even fewer of them can do anything to either help or harm you."12. Always someone better"No matter how talented you are at something, there will always be someone way better than you.""Talent just gets you a seat at the table. Too many people think being talented is all you need and the opportunities will come rolling in, but that’s not the case. It’s the people who couple talent with gumption that get the opportunities. Hell, I’ve seen guys with barely any talent but strong work ethics and willingness to do 'whatever it takes' run all over guys with obscene amounts of talent but no gumption."13. Some people aren't special"I'm not at all special.""That's actually a freeing thought if you let it be. If you think that you are special, there's pressure and entitlement and fear of failure. If you are just as special as everyone else, it takes a large weight off your shoulders and you can be free to try things, some of which you're pretty sure might fail, with far less fear of failure. You're not special, so who cares if it takes you a while to get it right?"14. Things aren't black and white"We grow up thinking that the side of evil will be clearly defined, and the villains will be super obvious, mustache-twirling Lex Luthor, while the good guys are purely righteous supermen. Turns out, right and wrong is very challenging to define.""If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it was necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"

We know how important it is to stay in the present moment. And we know that having grounding tools, such as simple breathing exercises, are crucial to keep us in the present moment during times of stress. But sometimes, when the intrusive thoughts become too loud, we forget how healing the present moment can be, or how to access it. And that’s when a kind word from a loved one can make all the difference. It certainly did for 29-year-old Christina Symes, an artist living with her 95-year-old grandmother, aka “gran,” in London. Gran’s advice was so powerful that Symes shared it in a TikTok, which has since gone viral at 3 million views.Symes told Newsweek that even as a child, before social media, Gran would send her “comforting” tapes of her talking or reading stories out loud. And Symes routinely records whatever advice Gran gives to listen to in the future because “what she says can be so poignant.” A few years ago, Symes moved in with Gran after she became housebound, leading to more insightful chats. Symes, who had been struggling with depression and anxiety, also developed agoraphobia after experiencing the death of a close relative and the breakdown of a 10-year relationship. All you have to do is take it one step at a time. Photo credit: CanvaUnderstandably, she was having a hard time navigating this difficult chapter, and sought Gran’s advice once more. And here’s what Gran had to say:"Look at yourself in the mirror, wash your face, put your makeup on, put your clothes on and then say, What must I do next? I must have a little breakfast, or I must have a cup of tea, and then I will start to do this little thing that needs doing.”Once that little thing is done, even if it took a couple of hours to get done, gran says to give yourself a reward for having done it. Her reward of choice: another cup of tea. "I deserve it because I've done those things, and I can take pride in the fact you've done them. Never mind about what else has happened years ago, what's going to happen in the future.” Did we mention that this advice is made all the more wholesome with Gran’s british accent? It really does hit the spot like a nice cuppa tea. Watch below: @cjsymes_ One step at a time ❤️ #motivation #advice #wisdom #inspiration #grandma #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #agoraphobia ♬ where is my mind (piano version) - your movie soundtrack The advice seemed to resonate with Symes, who told Newsweek "Often, when I think of everything as a whole, it feels far too overwhelming, and I end up not being able to do anything," she said."Whereas if it's broken down into small steps with little rewards afterwards, as my gran mentions, it can feel more manageable. Then, the little steps in turn lead to bigger steps, and more progress can be made. Sometimes the most important advice can be the most simple advice.”The clip, appropriately captioned “one step at a time,” definitely resonated with others as well, who shared truly lovely comments. “As a psychiatric nurse, she’s right, take it slow, hour by hour. Be compassionate [to] yourself and set attainable goals.” “When she said ‘I deserve it’ I broke because not one part of me believes I do, no matter how much I do or how hard I work,I’m not sure I ever will.” “I am almost 10 years in recovery of my agoraphobia and this resonated with me so much. Am in tears. We DO deserve that reward. Thank you.” “I feel like writing ‘what must I do next?’ on my mirror now.”“I cried at this. I’m going to get up and have a bath, and then I’m going to do my hair and makeup for the first time in months.” No matter what you might be struggling with, take it from gran: take it slow, give yourself grace, and please, have that tea.

A single mother of 5, 4 boys and 1 girl, found herself in a bind. Her 16-year-old son was tired of sharing a room with his 14-year-old brother and wanted some privacy. The family lives in a 3-bedroom house, where mom gets a room and the youngest 3 siblings share one as well."Two months ago, my son and I were discussing his distaste for sharing a room with his brother and he said he'd drop out of school now if it meant he could move out into his own space," the mother wrote on Reddit's AITA forum. The teenager has a job and enough money to buy extras such as clothes, shoes and plenty of junk food."I told him I had looked at 4-bedroom rentals in our area, but they were just too expensive," the mom continued. "He asked if he could pay the difference if we did move. I told him no because during the school year all his money would be going to rent not his savings and his spending money. That obviously wouldn't sit right with me."Eventually, the two came to a compromise. For $50 a month, he could have his mother's room. The mother would sleep on the pull-out couch and the other two rooms would be split among the other four siblings. A teenage boy sleepingvia John-Mark Smith/PexelsThe mother is putting the money towards her Christmas fund, which will be used to pay for a summer trip after the holidays.However, after talking to some of her friends, the mother began to have second thoughts about the arrangement. "They think I'm wrong for taking any amount of money from my kids, and a couple of them said I should have just given him the room without making him pay for it. They make some good points, and I don't totally disagree," she wrote.So she asked the Reddit forum if she was in the wrong for charging her son. A distressed mom looks at her laptop.via Alexander Dummer/PexelsThe responses were pretty divided on the issue, but most thought the mother was right."There is a wild difference between charging your underage kids rent and accepting $50 a month (that is going back to the kids) so a growing teenager can have privacy. No other children are getting less, and no one is abused by any means. Not exactly an ideal solution, but tricky problems require unconventional solutions," one commenter wrote. "I like the life lesson you are imparting. For the people saying that it's so terrible that you are charging him rent, I don't see it that way. Your son wants his own room to which he is not entitled. He works, he earns his own money, and wants something which he values. You're making him do what all of us have to do to get the things we want in life: PAY FOR IT!"However, a vocal group of people thought the mother was in the wrong, not for charging her teenage son, but for not giving the room to her daughter, who is 9 and shares a room with her 7-year-old brother. A young girl wearing a scarf.via Janko Ferlic/Pexels"Why is she not the priority when it comes to having a separate bedroom or at least sharing with you? At 9, she is at an age where it may seem like she is okay sharing a room with her brothers but she probably isn't. Girls are starting puberty and becoming self-conscious of their bodies at that age. They shouldn't have to worry about sharing a bedroom with their brothers," a commenter wrote. "So your 9 yo daughter is sharing a room with her brother? It’s time to find a better solution for your family. Your daughter is of the age that she shouldn’t be sharing anymore with boys," another added.Plenty of people also judged the mother for having 5 children in a 3-bedroom house, but since they don't know the story surrounding her family's circumstances, that critique should be off limits.Ultimately, the commenters agreed that the mother is doing her best in a challenging circumstance. It has to be incredibly hard raising 5 children as a single parent. Keeping them all happy in such close quarters must constantly stress everyone. Further, it seems that the 16-year-old son has his own job and can’t wait to leave the house so that the tight situation will loosen up in a few years.

Dogs are a man's best friend, as the saying goes, but that's only true when humans treat them as they should be treated. When someone neglects, abuses or otherwise mistreats a dog, their sense of trust in human companionship gets disrupted and doesn't come as naturally as it should. It's common to see issue with dogs who end up in shelters. They might be timid, suspicious or fearful, and living in a kennel in a shelter away from everything familiar doesn't help. Even if a shelter is better than the unhealthy situation they came from, it's certainly not ideal, which is one reason Rocky Kanaka goes to visit and sit with shelter dogs. If he can help a dog feel safe and convince it to to trust him, he kick-starts the process of repairing the dog-human bond.One dog Kanaka sat with was a 3-year-old black Shepherd mix named "Venom." She was curled up in the corner of her kennel and wasn't too keen on having him coming into her space. She wasn't aggressive, but guarded. Her self-protective instincts seemed on, so Kanaka took it very slow. He began by turning his back to her and squatting down, not interacting with her other than to speak soothingly, just to let her get used to his presence. He brought some treats, which he shared with her before sitting down. She kept looking at him with a mix of curiosity and trepidation, and Kanaka respected her space. He found out she had been at the shelter for 10 days, which Kanaka said was bad because if a dog is still in this kind of nervous state after 10 days in the shelter, it's harder for them to get adopted. Soon, he got her to take treats from his hand, which enabled him to move a little closer to her—the goal being to eventually get her to approach him. Then Kanaka got her story, including that her name was Venom and this was her second time in the shelter. The first time, her owners were on vacation, The second time a good samaritan brought her in, and the shelter couldn't get a hold of the owners. When they were finally reached, the owners said that she had not been behaving well with their smaller dog and they didn't want her anymore. Kanaka didn't cast judgment on the owners for giving her up, but he was totally taken aback by her given name."Come on. Venom? She is anything but that. It should be like, Honeysuckle, you know? Or something sweet. Something sweet like Honey. I think that's her name, Honey."Watch how this sweet puppers slowly warms up to Kanaka and begins to trust him: "Her eyes and brows are so expressive. You can read the concern in her face." Watching her eventually melt into a state of relaxation as Kanaka scratched her head was so rewarding. You can tell that she's a good girl who's been through some rough times, and she'd be an incredible dog for someone who took good care of her. "Her eyes and brows are so expressive. You can read the concern in her face," wrote one commenter. "That poor baby is heart broken. She knows she was left and lost family. I feel you baby," wrote another."What a sweet little fluff," shared another. "How could anyone just abandon her and not think she's worth the fee will baffle me for all of time. And to call her 'Venom' is not only an insult to her, but an insight into the life she could have previously had and how her last 'owners thought of her. Can't wait for her to find her forever home and finally get all the love she deserves."Thankfully, according to an update on Kanaka's website, Honey was adopted on March 8, 2024. So hopefully, she did find a forever home with people who will appreciate and nurture her naturally sweet disposition and give her the life she should have. You can follow Rocky Kanaka for more "Sitting with Dogs" videos on YouTube and on his website rockykanaka.com.This article originally appeared on 4.9.24

We've all seen people posting videos of them dancing in a very public place, in the middle of a busy sidewalk or train station. Usually people watch the free show and go on about their day but one dancer got a surprise when he set his camera up in a subway station–a bystander jumped in.J. Dash uploaded a video on Instagram of him dancing to "Wop," a popular song that has fairly specific choreography, though Dash was adding his own spin. When the stranger jumped into the video it was so seamless that people in the comments are arguing over if it was staged or not. People are asking how the stranger knew the dance moves and the answer is pretty simple, TikTok."Wop" made its rounds as a viral TikTok sound that came with the choreography that was seemingly on an endless loop with every swipe. So it's quite likely someone out in the wild also knows the dance. "Yeah right, and he knew exactly the choreography and where to stand to be seen on the background," one person disputes."Honestly this is dope. I believed it for a second! And their acting/performance skills are on point. Can’t knock them for that! Let people have some joy," another person says seemingly questioning if it was planned but enjoying it nonetheless. The video, whether it's staged or not is still one that will put a smile on your face and of course not everyone thought the smooth choreography was a set up. One person says, "Random dude timed it perfectly...even missed the train.""Freaking love this. Ultimate connection through music and dance - there’s nothing like it a shared musical experience is everything," another gushes. You can watch the surprise dance duo below: See on Instagram This article originally appeared on 1.23.24

If you've ever spent a significant amount of time with twins, you know that no other relationship compares. My husband has twin brothers, and one of those brothers had twin daughters (busting the twins-skip-a-generation myth), so our family is quite familiar with the twin bond. Over and over, we've watched with amusement as one adult twin will move across the country for one reason or another, with the other twin eventually, but inevitably, following them. Twins redefine the word "inseparable," which makes sense since they've literally been together since before they were even born. Nowhere is that bond more apparent than in a video of twin babies at the end of their first day of separation ever. In a TikTok video shared by @thattwinmama, we see black-and-white footage from a baby monitor showing baby twin sisters standing in adjacent cribs. "Our twins were separated for a day for the first time in their entire lives…" the video text reads. "That night we put them down leaving them alone for the first time in over 24 hours. And pretty sure it's safe to say they definitely missed each other."Watch how the baby girls cuddle and love on one another with the sweetest tenderness. @thattwinmama_ Will forever make me?… cant think of anything stronger than the #twinbond ❤️ #twinsoftiktok #twins #twinsisters #babylife #twinlove #sisterlove #feelgood #babiesoftiktok #sharethelove #newmom #4u #sistersforever The head kiss? The back pat? Come on. It doesn't get any cuter than that. There truly is nothing like the bond between twins. There have even been documented cases of twins who were separated at birth and who ended up having the same traits and making similar life choices later in life. It's a relationship only twins themselves get to experience, but anyone who is a friend or family member of twins has to try to understand it if they truly want to know them because it's such a unique—and inseparable—part of their identity. This article originally appeared on 8/30/23

Jordan Howlett recently blew people’s minds with a TikTok video where he explained why you could learn a lot about a person based on the side of the bed they prefer. Jordan is a popular TikTok creator with nearly 11 million followers who shares candid monologues, reactions, stories, life hacks and intriguing fast food secrets.His video was a response to TikTok users Angelina & Skyler, who confessed they don’t usually pick a side of the bed.(FYI: Your side is determined from the perspective of laying in bed. For example, sleeping on the left side means that your partner would sleep to your right.)Howlett responded to their video by explaining why the side you choose is so important. “Psychologically speaking, humans will pick a side of the bed due to attitude towards work, personality and income,” he says.“People who sleep on the left side of the bed psychologically have a more positive outlook on life, they can deal with heavy workloads, they’re not easily phased by stressful days and they’re calmer in a crisis than [their] counterpart,” he continues. “And they’re more confident.” @jordan_the_stallion8 #stitch with @Angelina & Skyler || DIY ? #fypシ “People who sleep on the right side of the bed earn more money, have a less positive outlook on life, but are more prepared for worst-case scenarios than their counterparts,” Jordan said. Jordan ends his video with a final fact: “Also, people who are claustrophobic naturally choose to sleep near the wall.”Although Howlett didn’t cite any specific data, his points are perfectly aligned with current research on the topic. It appears he may have taken his facts from sleep expert Hope Bastine. Recently, Bastine told Cosmopolitan that folks who sleep on the left side are more optimistic than their grumpier, right-side counterparts."According to research, people who sleep on the left are likely to be more cheerful than their right-side counterparts," Bastine said. "A positive outlook allows lefties to be more capable at dealing with a heavy workload, which means they’re not as easily phased by a stressful day. Those who sleep on the left believe they are calmer than their partner in a crisis and are more confident in general."This article originally appeared on 8.29.23

No one who has ever lived to see old age has also thwarted growing older. But with age comes the gift of wisdom, along with maybe a wrinkle or two. However, passing along that hard-earned knowledge isn’t always easy. After all, when we’re younger, the world seems to be much more simple. We are not yet fully aware that things never stop changing—trends that were once the “it” things will eventually become a source of embarrassment. Or worse … come back as “retro” or “nostalgic.” Ouch. That’s right, kids. Believe it or not, there will come a time when even Billie Eilish isn’t cool anymore! Of course, we’re not just talking about fashion or taste in music. Hopefully, we all expand our world view after our teenage years, growing more mature, grounded and less self-absorbed. That’s not always the case, of course, but that is the goal. Reddit user u/Slight_Weight asked folks to share things that teens today “are not ready to hear.” Honestly I expected to find cynical, snarky “kids today don’t know anything” type of comments. But on the contrary, a lot of it really was tough love. And truthfully, much of the advice isn’t age-specific. They’re just good “be a kind human” reminders all around. And then other answers were just plain funny. Check out 17 of the best answers. For the youngsters, just trust us on this. And for the … um … more refined crowd, you’ll probably relate to them all.1. “Everything you do as a teenager will be cringe to your children.” – @divinetrackies2."You won't 'feel' different when you're older, or have kids. You'll just be you, it's weird.” – @Poshspicer3. “Today's eyebrows are yesterday's clown makeup.” – @Lardinho4. "In 15 years you’re going to think the kids have gone too far and they’re going to think you’re old-fashioned.” – @neat_machine5. “Getting good at stuff will take time. Sometimes lots of time. And sometimes, you'll spend lots of time on something, and you still won't get good at it. That's the human experience. Some things you struggle with will come very easily to others, but some things they struggle with will come very easily to you. Don't be mad that someone possesses skills you don't, and don't be a jerk for possessing skills that many other people don't.” – @OskeeWootWoot6. “Nobody else wants to hear whatever TikTok you’re watching. Buy some headphones.“ – @EmiliusReturns7. "Being controversial isn't the same as being interesting.” – @HezFez2388. “School has a system in place to keep you from falling behind, life doesn’t.” – @Corey8549. “Just because you fucked up does NOT mean you’re a fuckup.” – @Mr_Murder1 10. “Things will likely take significantly longer to achieve than you think.” – @Dull-College11. "Life is NOT like a video game where you just keep leveling up. Sometimes, what you built will fall apart, and you will have to repeatedly do the same thing over and over…However, don't beat yourself up about it - this is normal. And with experience, you will also become more adept at facing and resolving problems, so each time the same problem repeats, you will be better at solving them.” – @EmpRupus12. “Not everybody can be an internet sensation, somebody has to drive the dump truck.” – @Raggydasavage13. “Social media is not reality and your entire life should not revolve around it.” – @RickGrimesSnotBubble14. “One day you too will be old and uncool. And it'll happen faster than you think.” – @omguseries15. “Just because it's new to you doesn't mean it's new.” – @Broad_word_169016. “As you get older you just keep realizing how dumb you were last year.” – @Comparison_Past17. “That heartache you're going through? It consumes everything now but it will be nothing but a footnote in the future. You'll rarely think about it later - & when you do, it won't hurt you. It's hard to hear that your pain isn't the worst in the world when you're feeling it. But it does help to know that it won't mean as much as it does in this moment.” – @st3washere1This article originally appeared on 9.14.22

Living the rest of your life on a cruise ship seems like the dream of the ultra-rich. You wake up every morning and have an all-you-can-eat breakfast. Spend the afternoon hanging out by the pool or touring a fantastic city such as Rome or Dubrovnik.At night, have a drink in the lounge watching a comedian or a jazz band, then hit the sack and do it all over again the next day. Seems too good to be true for the average person, right? Think again. Twenty-eight-year-old Austin Wells of San Diego told CNBC that he can make it happen because it’s cheaper than living onshore in Southern California and he gets to see the world. “The thing that most excites me is I don’t have to upend my daily routine, in order to go see the world,” Wells told CNBC.“I’m going from this model where you want to go somewhere, you pack a bag, you get on a flight, you rent a room, to now my condo, my gym, my doctors and dentists, all of my grocery stores travel the world with me,” he added.Wells purchased an apartment on the MV Narrative, which is currently being built in Croatia and sets sail in 2025.The rough math for Wells' dream makes perfect sense. He purchased a 12-year lease on the ship for $300,000. That comes to about $2,100 a month if he didn’t have to take out a loan. By comparison, most apartments in San Diego cost more than $2,100 per month in rent.The ship charges an additional $2,100 a month for all-inclusive services, which include food, drinks, alcohol, gym membership, routine healthcare check-ups, onboard entertainment and laundry.So, it could cost Wells as little as $4,200 a month to live an all-expenses-paid life. Plus, there’s no need to pay for a car or waste time shopping for groceries or traveling anywhere. It’s all on the ship.Wells can work from the ship because his job with Meta is fully remote."What I'm probably most excited about is going to places that ships can only uniquely go,” he told CNBC, adding that cruise ships can travel to “unique ecological parts of the world or beautiful dive spots that are a few miles off land or caves to dive through and the ship will do a number of overnight stays in those areas."Wells isn’t the only person who’s decided to live on a permanent vacation. Upworthy spoke with a couple in their 50s earlier this year who live on cruise ships because it’s cheaper than their mortgage.Richard Burk and his wife, Angelyn, are living their best life hopping from ship to ship for around $100 a night, depending on the cruise. "Cruise costs vary quite a bit, our goal is to average about $100 per night, for the couple, or less across an entire calendar year," Richard told Upworthy.The Burks keep the costs of cruising down through loyalty memberships. “We love to travel and we were searching for a way to continuously travel in our retirement that made financial sense,” Angelyn told 7 News.People like Wells and the Burks may be outliers in society. They’ve chosen to give up the comforts of home for the comfort of living a life being catered to 24/7. While most of us probably won’t opt to make the big leap and live life out at the sea, their stories are a wonderful reminder that with a little creative thinking, we can create the perfect lives for ourselves whether on land or at sea.This article originally appeared on 12.19.22