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The Lighter Side
The Lighter Side
1 y

7 things Black people want their well-meaning white friends to know
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7 things Black people want their well-meaning white friends to know

I grew up black in a very white neighborhood in a very white city in a very white state.As such, I am a lot of people's only black friend.Being the only black friend is a gift and a curse. I am black and I love having friends. But I am also, at any given moment, expected to be a translator, an ambassador, a history teacher, and/or a walking, talking invitation into "I am not racist" territory. It's a lot to handle. See what I mean about that curse?So when I saw the animated short-film "Your Black Friend," I felt so seen. Clearly, I am not alone.The film, which was written, designed, and narrated by Ben Passmore and is based on his mini-comic of the same name, is a brilliant, refreshing way to examine whiteness and racism. The comic and animated short are an open-letter from "your black friend" to you, their well-meaning white friend, about bias, alienation, and what it means to be a good ally and friend.It's funny, honest, and heartbreaking in equal measure. And speaking from personal experience, it captures the experience of being a black friend to white people pretty much perfectly.So if you're a "woke" friend and ally, here are some things your black friend wants you to know.1. You're going to have to get uncomfortable.It could be something as obvious and upsetting as a racist joke. Or something as "benign" as your aunt suggesting you cross the street when she sees a group of black kids walking by. But either way, if you want to be a good friend and a real ally, you're going to have to speak up. You're going to have to have those tough conversations with people you care about.It's not easy to confront strangers or people you love, but if you don't do it, you are part of the problem. Sitting out isn't an option. No one said being an ally is easy.2. "Your black friend would like to say something to the racist lady, but doesn't want to appear to be that 'angry black man.'""He knows this type of person expects that from him, and he will lose before he begins," Passmore says.Black people can't always react or respond the way we want to. When I am followed in a department store, pulled over for no reason, or stared at while picking up dinner at the fancy grocery store, I can't stop what I'm doing and yell, "YES, I AM BLACK. NO, I AM NOT A CRIMINAL YOU SMALL-MINDED, BIASED ASSHOLES." Trust me, I want to. But especially when police are involved, I have to be calm, respectful, and obedient.That's where you come in. You, white friend, need to speak up and say something when I can't. If you are not at risk, nor considered a threat, you have a certain amount of privilege in these situations. Use it to demand answers, speak to supervisors, or if things really get dicey, pull out your phone and hit record.3. We are constantly monitoring our surroundings and adjusting our clothes, hair, speed, and speech to maintain white comfort.We don't like it, but one small choice — like deciding whether or not to wear a hood, or the speed at which we reach into our glove box — can be the difference between life and death.When I am in a parking garage and walking behind a white woman, I intentionally cough or walk a little louder so she turns and notices me.Why? Because when I don't, that same white woman will often clutch her purse and occasionally let out an audible gasp as I pass her. This is something my white friends likely don't realize I have to do. Some of them may even be the pearl-clutchers in the parking lot.But to maintain white comfort and to avoid having the cops called on us, we often have to tamp down clothes, modify our speech and volume, even do our hair differently. We have to have "the talk" with our kids about how the world sees them, and how act in order to make sure they come home alive.No, it's not fair. No, we don't like it. But so long as this country and its institutions are built on a solid foundation of white supremacy, it's a grim reality. You need to know that, and take it up with your fellow white people about how to dismantle it.4. "Your black friend wishes you'd play more than Beyoncé. There are more black performers than Beyoncé.""Lemonade" was awesome. There is no denying it. And yes, I love seeing her iconic looks on Instagram too. But there is more to black music and black art than Beyoncé. Dip a toe outside your comfort zone and try new new artists and genres you may not be familiar with. Go listen, see it, and experience it for yourself.And while we're here, you can't say the n-word when you sing along. Nope. You just can't.5. Speaking of which, performative blackness is really uncomfortable.When you wear that braided wig on Halloween, or use your "blaccent" when you're around me or other black people, it hurts. It's not cute or charming, and it definitely doesn't make you seem cool.Our culture and heritage are not costumes you can slide on and off at your convenience. We don't get to be black only when it suits us. Neither do you.6. "Your black friend feels like a man without a country."Having white friends and seeming to "fit in" with the majority can feel really alienating. You can feel too "white" for black people, and too "black" for white people when all you want to do is find people to eat pizza with. As Passmore wrote, "He is lost in this contradiction, and held responsible for it."7. We would love it if we could stop talking about our anxiety and frustrations regarding racism. But right now, that's impossible.Our concerns are urgent and real. We're getting subpar health care. We're disenfranchised. We're over-policed. We're thrown in jail. We're killed by people sworn to protect us. It's exhausting, but we have to keep talking about it. So do you.We can't be expected to dismantle white supremacy on our own.Our white friends and allies need to step up and gather their people. Have the tough conversations. Speak up when you see racism, discrimination, and microaggressions. The time to talk about it is done. Be about it, or find yourself a new black friend.Watch "Your Black Friend" in full and check out Passmore's book, "Your Black Friend And Other Strangers." This article was written by Erin Canty and originally published on January 30, 2018.
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The Lighter Side
The Lighter Side
1 y

A letter to my mother-in-law who spoiled my sons
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A letter to my mother-in-law who spoiled my sons

You always stole my thunder. You gave them everything they wanted. You never said no when they asked for anything. Tina Platamura A second helping of dessert. Candy before dinner. A few more minutes in the bath. Money for the ice cream truck.I struggled to show you respect and appreciation while trying to make sure you didn't spoil my children. I thought you would turn them into “selfish brats" by giving them everything they wanted. I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed.You held each one of my babies long after they fell asleep. Didn't you understand that I needed them to learn to fall asleep on their own?You ran to them as soon as they made the tiniest sound. How would they ever learn to self-soothe?I resented you for buying the best and most expensive gifts on their birthdays and on Christmas. How could I possibly compete with you?"I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed."And how they loved afternoons spent with you. You made their favorite things for dinner — three different meals for three different boys. And you always had a little surprise. A present, candy, or a special treat. I didn't want them to associate you with gifts and sweets. I thought they should love you for you. I tried to tell you this, but you wouldn't listen.I spent a lot of time wondering why you did all these things and how I could get you to ease up. I know grandmothers are supposed to “spoil the kids" then send them home, but you were ... ridiculous.Until you were gone.I had to hold my boys and tell them that their grandma died. It didn't seem possible — you were supposed to be there for all the other special moments: proms, graduations, weddings. But they lost their grandma too soon and too suddenly. They were not ready to say goodbye.During those years when I wished you'd stop spoiling them, I never thought about how much you loved them. So much that you showed it in every way possible. Your cooking. The gifts. The candy and sweets. Your presence. The way you could recount every detail of a special moment, whether it was a perfect catch in the outfield or a sweet and slightly off-key note sung at a school concert. Your grandmotherly love for them knew no bounds. Your heart poured love from every place possible — your kitchen, your pocketbook, your words, and your tireless arms.It's pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity.My kids, now in their teens, miss you dearly. And they don't miss your gifts or your money. They miss you.They miss running to greet you at the door and hugging you before you could step in. They miss looking up at the bleachers and seeing you, one of their biggest fans, smiling and enthralled to catch their eye. They miss talking to you and hearing your words of wisdom, encouragement and love.If I could speak to you one more time, I would tell you that every time a precious moment steals my heart, every time I watch them arrive at a new milestone, and every time they amaze me with their perseverance, talents, or triumphs, I think of you. And I wish that they could have you back.Come back and love them one last time, like no one else in the world but a grandmother could. Bring your sweets and surprises. Reward them with gifts for the smallest accomplishments. Painstakingly prepare their favorite meals. Take them anywhere they want to go. All and only because you love them.Come back and see how much they've grown. Watch each boy becoming his own version of a young man. Be in awe with me as we admire how family, friendship, time, and love helped them grow so beautifully over the years.The more I long for you to come back, though, the more I realize that in a way, you never left.I understand now. I know you loved them in every way you could. I know that being their grandma gave you joy and purpose. And of course I know that you can't come back, but I do know that your love for them will always remain. Your love built them and sheltered them in ways that cannot be described. Your love is a big part of who they are and what they will become as they grow. For this, and for every treat and gift, and every time you held them too long or consoled them too much or let them stay up too late, I will always thank you.And I will wish a million times that you could do it all again.This article was written by Tina Plantamura and originally appeared on 04.14.16
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
1 y

Oasis to Reunite in 2025 Following Longtime Brother Feud
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Oasis to Reunite in 2025 Following Longtime Brother Feud

The forever-feuding British brothers, Noel and Liam Gallagher, have reconciled for now and announced a reunion.
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Let's Get Cooking
Let's Get Cooking
1 y

This Is What The Presidential Candidates Are Eating On The Campaign Trail
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This Is What The Presidential Candidates Are Eating On The Campaign Trail

The demands of a presidential campaign trail can dramatically affect a candidate's meals. Here's what the 2024 U.S. presidential candidates are eating.
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Intel Uncensored
Intel Uncensored
1 y

What Is Secret Service Hiding About the Trump Assassination Attempt?
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What Is Secret Service Hiding About the Trump Assassination Attempt?

by JD Rucker, Discern Report: (Daily Signal)—It’s been six weeks since the attempt on former President Donald Trump’s life at a campaign rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, and the American public’s questions about the nature of the attack and the security failings that led to Trump’s brush with death largely remain unanswered. Jason Chaffetz, a Fox News contributor […]
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Intel Uncensored
Intel Uncensored
1 y

UPDATE: French President Macron Says Arrest of Telegram CEO is Not Political (Yes, it is)
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UPDATE: French President Macron Says Arrest of Telegram CEO is Not Political (Yes, it is)

from The Conservative Treehouse: Within the larger Western Intelligence Community and government control system overall, there is always internal communication and coordination amid the primary players (the G7 and G20 crowd).  No government does anything against a major communication player or Big Tech voice without the other governmental leaders having fore knowledge. The U.S State […]
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Intel Uncensored
Intel Uncensored
1 y

STUDY REVEALS THAT CHILDREN’S DOSES ARE GROWING THE MOST STRUCTURES
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STUDY REVEALS THAT CHILDREN’S DOSES ARE GROWING THE MOST STRUCTURES

from Dr. Jane Ruby: TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/
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Pet Life
Pet Life
1 y ·Youtube Pets & Animals

YouTube
Man Rescues Injured Hummingbird While Walking His Dogs | The Dodo
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History Traveler
History Traveler
1 y

Place of Gold: The Complex Story of Johannesburg
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Place of Gold: The Complex Story of Johannesburg

  With 6.5 million residents, Johannesburg is the biggest city in South Africa in terms of population, but its population pales in comparison to that of other metropolises in Africa, such as Kinshasa, Lagos, and Cairo, each of which has a population of well over 10 million.   Nevertheless, Johannesburg is by far the wealthiest city in Africa. For such a young city, its growth from a mining town to the business hub of Africa has been exceedingly rapid, and it continues to attract immigrants looking for a better life.   Known colloquially as “Jozi” or “Jo’burg,” Johannesburg also goes by the name of eGoli—a Zulu word that means “Place of Gold.”   The Discovery of Gold & the Founding of Johannesburg Highveld in Gauteng Province. Source: Wikimedia Commons   For such a wealthy city, it is fitting that the basis for Johannesburg’s founding was to support the gold industry. The region had been inhabited by San hunter-gatherers and, later, Sotho–Tswana people who built towns in the area now covered by Johannesburg’s massive sprawl. The landscape was veld: grassland dotted with trees.   In 1884, gold was discovered on a farm in the Witwatersrand, and in 1886, Australian prospector George Harrison discovered the main gold reef. It was quickly realized that the area was unbelievably rich in gold, and a massive gold rush was triggered. Prospectors and laborers flocked to the area.   A mining camp was erected, and by August 1886, it had 3,000 inhabitants. In October, it was given a name: Johannesburg.   Gold-quartz-hydrothermal vein from Witwatersrand. Source: Wikimedia Commons   The settlement’s name is open to speculation. Johan or Joannes as a first or last name were popular, and various candidates have been put forward for whom the city was actually named. Popular suggestions involve two prominent prospectors, Christian Johannes Joubert and Johann Rissik. Another idea is that the town was named after Johannes Meyer, the first government official in the area.   In December, the area, which encompassed several farms designated as public digging sites, was subdivided and put on the auction block. Gold mining companies were established and moved into the area, and within ten years, Johannesburg had 100,000 residents.   An old brick bearing the indication that a laundromat was located here, now a part of Rand Steam shopping center. Source: theheritageportal.co.za   The population was a mix of different ethnicities. The skilled miners were primarily of European descent and hailed from all over the world, while African men were hired for unskilled labor. All manner of support industries sprung up. African women brewed beer, while poor Afrikaners flocked to the region in search of work. Surprisingly, the laundry industry became dominated by Zulu men, who earned the nickname “AmaWasha” (Washers) as a result.   Naturally, the town also attracted people drawn to disreputable professions, and Johannesburg also became a figurative gold mine for prostitutes and gangsters. The city was an eclectic mix of opulence, chaos, and vice. Hundreds of saloons popped up, and the city was graced by the attention of huge international criminal syndicates with roots in London and New York.   In the space of a few years, tents were replaced with metal “shanties,” which were then replaced with large Edwardian-style buildings.   The crater caused by the Braamfontein explosion on February 19, 1896. Source: Wikimedia Commons   From the very beginning, Johannesburg was a city of apartheid before apartheid had ever been invented as a political policy. People were separated by race, with Europeans living in the more affluent areas, while Africans were consigned to slums. Many destitute Afrikaners/Boers also sought a better life in Johannesburg, creating slums of their own in suburbs such as Brickfields and Vrededorp.   Author’s note: The terminology at this point in history is fluid. Today, Afrikaners are descendants of European, mainly Dutch settlers. Those who left the Cape Colony on their Great Trek were referred to as Boers (farmers). For many decades after they settled to the north, the term was used interchangeably, although Afrikaners who remained in the Cape were not considered “Boers.” For most Afrikaners, the term “Boer” is a source of historical pride.    Just north of the slum areas were the railway line and goods yards, which were the location of a massive explosion on February 19, 1896. Fifty-five tons of dynamite, left baking in the sun, detonated and left a massive crater 250 feet long, 60 feet wide, and 30 feet deep. The explosion killed 78 people and wounded 1,500.   A Path to Conflict The Charge of the Three Hundred at Doornkop by unknown artist, part of the Jameson Raid. Source: Wikimedia Commons   At the time, South Africa was not a unified country. It was split into four major territories. The Cape Province and Natal were owned by the British Empire, while the Orange Free State and the South African Republic (also known as Transvaal) were independent nations owned by the Boers. Johannesburg was located in the South African Republic.   As the gold industry boomed, so did the city’s population. Along with an influx of British people (known by the Boers/Afrikaners as Uitlanders), the gold fields attracted the greedy attention of the British Empire.   Hoping to sway the population dynamic of the South African Republic, the British encouraged emigration to Johannesburg. For the Boers, this represented a danger. If the Uitlanders were able to vote a government into power that was sympathetic to the British Empire, it would spell an end to independence.   Relations between the Boers and the Uitlanders broke down as political tensions were exacerbated. In December 1895, the British in the Cape, under the rule of Cecil John Rhodes, took action. Several hundred men, led by Leander Starr Jameson, rode into Johannesburg, intending to incite the Uitlanders to launch a coup. The Jameson Raid, as it became known, was an utter failure, and the conspirators were arrested and imprisoned. By 1899, the South African Republic, along with its ally, the Orange Free State, was at war with the British Empire.   All That Was Left of Them (cropped), the last stand of the 17th Lancers at Modderfontein. Chromolithograph after Richard Caton Woodville, 1901. Published by Gilbert Whitehead and Company Ltd. Source: National Army Museum   By mid-1902, the Second Anglo-Boer War was over. It was an incredibly bloody affair marked by gross human rights violations. Nevertheless, Britain had won, and the Boer Republics, along with their rich gold deposits, were now under the control of the British Empire.   After the British took over, strict protocols were put in place, which further exacerbated the racial divide. Black people were forced to accept whatever wage white people were willing to offer. As a result of this practice, there was a shortage in the labor pool, and 60,000 laborers were imported from China.   The Early 20th Century A young Gandhi. Source: The Norwegian Digital Learning Arena (NDLA)   In the years after the end of the Second Anglo-Boer War, Johannesburg was visited by an outbreak of the plague. With this as an excuse, the government targeted both Chinese and African settlements within Johannesburg, razing them and relocating the residents to the town of Klipspruit outside Johannesburg.   In 1910, the Union of South Africa became a self-governing dominion within the British Empire.   The racially charged world of Johannesburg in the first years of the 20th century was one in which Mohandas Gandhi would also find himself. Race laws against Indians were his primary concern, and as a lawyer, he felt obliged to take up the cause and fight against the laws that he felt were unjust.   Over the years, Gandhi led a movement of nonviolent resistance. His efforts resulted in him being arrested and imprisoned before he finally reached an agreement with the government. As a result, the Indian Relief Act of 1914 was passed. The act abolished a £3 tax on Indians who had not renewed their labor indentures and recognized Indian customary marriages. After this was achieved, Gandhi returned to India.   Prisoners being taken into police custody during the Rand Rebellion. Source: Wikimedia Commons   When the First World War broke out, South Africa declared war on the Central Powers. For the next four years, South Africa’s economy was geared towards war, and the result was an industrial boom that greatly impacted the city of Johannesburg, turning it from a mining city into a city of major industry across the board.   After the war, a drop in the gold price led to companies trying to mitigate their costs by lowering wages and hiring African laborers at the expense of white workers. In 1920, 70,000 African workers launched a strike for better wages. The strike was put down by the army.   Two years later, the fires were again stoked when the South African Communist Party (SACP) encouraged another strike, this time by white people who resisted the weakening of the color bar. The Rand Rebellion was crushed with considerable military force, which resulted in the death of 200 workers, a number that included 30 Black people who were murdered by white strikers.   This action led to the prominence of the SACP within South Africa’s political sphere. The party continues to wield significant political influence in South African politics to this day.   Road to Apartheid Plein Square in Johannesburg during the 1950s. Source: johannesburg1912.com   The 1930s and 1940s in Johannesburg were characterized by mass migrations of African people into the urban areas. Before, much of the African population had been migrant workers who had left their families behind in rural areas and would travel between the Johannesburg mines and their rural homes.   Now, the dynamic was changing, and families of Africans were putting down permanent roots in Johannesburg. This factor led to white Johannesburgers becoming increasingly wary of their status as a group, which faced becoming a minority. Housing failed to keep up with the mass immigration, and African people ended up living in cramped, squalid conditions.   This dynamic helped propel the National Party to power in 1948. The new government instituted apartheid and enforced the Group Areas Act of 1950 to forcibly relocate African people to different parts of the city. This was furthered by the Natives Resettlement Act of 1954. Johannesburg was a prime target for these new laws, which sought to separate people of different races.   Apartheid in South Africa. Source: Public Domain/Den Store Danske   With a heavy-handed approach, the police drove non-whites out of the bustling suburb of Sophiatown and dispersed the different ethnicities to different parts of the city. Such began the growth of the South Western Township (Soweto) as an area designated for Black people.   Coloured* people were moved to Eldorado Park outside Johannesburg, Indians to the suburb of Lenasia, and Chinese people to central Johannesburg.   *Author’s note: The term “coloured” is not derogatory in South Africa. It mainly refers to people of mixed-race descent.    Apartheid The death of Hector Pieterson during the Soweto Riots. Source: Sam Nzima/MutualArt   As the years progressed, actions were taken to further entrench apartheid in Johannesburg while the city continued to grow. Draconian policies resulted in strikes and protests, which were broken up by police, often violently.   In this climate, the African National Congress attracted more support, and people like Nelson Mandela fought against an unjust regime.   In 1976, the streets of Soweto erupted in violence as Black people protested the education laws that forced them to learn in Afrikaans. The Soweto Riots followed on June 16, 1976 with the police suppressing the unrest with live ammunition. Hundreds were killed, and the events garnered widespread international attention and condemnation.   Riots spread throughout the country in the following years, and a state of emergency was declared during the 1980s. The South African Defence Force was deployed for policing action as the pushback against apartheid plummeted the country into chaos. By the late 1980s, it was clear that apartheid could no longer be sustained, and negotiations began on dismantling the system and transitioning South Africa to majority rule.   The late 1960s and early 1970s were also a boom time for Johannesburg. South Africa was producing more than two-thirds of the world’s gold, and the gold price during the 1980s was comfortably high, providing significant revenue.   After Apartheid Police presence during the 2010 Soccer World Cup. Source: Agência Brasil/Wikimedia Commons   The fall of apartheid and the election of 1994 heralded a new era for South Africa. The race laws in Johannesburg disappeared as they did all over the country, and racial groups began to mix again. This process happened relatively quickly in Johannesburg in contrast to other regions in South Africa.   In 1995, the streets of Johannesburg erupted in jubilation after the South African rugby team lifted the William Webb Ellis Trophy upon winning the Rugby World Cup, the final being held at Ellis Park Stadium in Johannesburg.   The city was also one of the host cities of the Soccer World Cup in 2010. Despite homeground advantage, South Africa did not make it out of the group stages.   The years following apartheid weren’t all joy and happiness, however. Crime became an acute problem that continues today, driving many businesses from the city center to the suburbs.   Johannesburg Today A map of South Africa broken down into districts. Gauteng Province is in dark gray, and Johannesburg is indicated in blue. Source: Wikimedia Commons   The modern city of Johannesburg is huge. Unhindered by geographical features, the city has been able to spread outwards into its flat surroundings. At 1,560 square miles, the urban area of Johannesburg represents the 14th largest city in the world.   Johannesburg is South Africa’s financial hub and home to the Johannesburg Stock Exchange, the largest stock exchange in Africa. The city is served by more than 50 airlines flying in and out of O.R. Tambo Airport, and Johannesburg is one of Africa’s biggest travel destinations as people transit through the city to other parts of Africa.   View of Johannesburg dotted with jacaranda trees in bloom. Source: Wikimedia Commons   Johannesburg has had, in recent years, a negative reputation as a city of sprawling slums, violence, and pollution. Still, there is another side of Johannesburg that makes it a popular tourist destination. It is home to no less than 150 heritage sites, many of which are national monuments that commemorate the city’s history and multi-racial diversity.   Johannesburg is also cited as the world’s largest artificial urban forest, with ten million trees, giving much of Johannesburg a very green appearance, in stark contrast to the poorer parts of the city, which are characterized by a dusty reddish-brown color. In the summer months, the jacaranda trees prevalent throughout many parts of the city are in full purple bloom.   Loveday Street, Johannesburg, 2007. Source: Wikimedia Commons   Today, Johannesburg’s legacy lives on. Just like when it was first established, Johannesburg is a vibrant city of entrepreneurs, full of opportunities for those wishing to exploit Africa’s potential as a marketplace for trade.
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Country Roundup
Country Roundup
1 y

Kelsea Ballerini Unfurls Tracklist for 'Patterns' Album
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Kelsea Ballerini Unfurls Tracklist for 'Patterns' Album

Kelsea Ballerini is painting a picture of what might be her most intimate and self-reflective project to date. Continue reading…
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